Beca bellas
by spottyowl
Summary: What if Aubrey did not let Beca back in to the Bellas when she asked? Will Aubrey let her back in, in he end? Or will she not let her back in? suck at summeries first story so hope you enjoy and TRIGGER WARNING as i guess some this can be sad for people. be cool if you could review please thanks you. rating may change in future depends where story goes.
1. Chapter 1

**My first story so bare with me, if you see mistakes sorry english not my strongest subject took it twice for GCSE passed second try. anyway i guess there is TRIGGER WARNING im new to this so i will warn just case.**

* * *

The door was shut in her face holding back tears Beca walked to her dads house for advice even though she doubted he could give her any but she had no one else to go to.

"So you thought quitting was the answer" Becas dad Sebastian said.

"Seriously you're gonna talk to me about quitting" Beca said looking up at her dad.

"Beca your mom and I didn't work" Sebastian started but Beca zoned out not wanting to listen, ( **some of this may trigger you if you lost someone or have self harmed mentions of suicide** ) her dad didn't even seem to want to fix things with her mom, she remembers the shouting that used to wake her up at night clutching her teddy as tears rolled down her face, she remembers coming home school to be told, that her parents are getting a divorce she thought it was her fault she was only nine, she remembers asking to go live with her mom, helping her mom to pick out a house and helping choose all the furniture, she helped decorate, the house was better than any you see in those home magazines, it was great living with her mom her mom brought her good quality decks for her thirteenth birthday when she saw her interest in music, she put on mini gigs for her mom and few friends she had, watching movies with her mom 'The women' being their favorite, she remembers her mom getting sick both thinking it was just a bug, coming home from school one day and seeing her mom on the floor shaking, calling the ambulance for help she could barley talk, waiting on the hard plastic chairs to see her mom, she remembers the doctor coming out calling her name after what felt like days walking over to him to go see her mom, then being told her mom had passed away, it wasn't a bug but a brain tumor, everything went quiet, the tears streaming down her face, screaming at the doctor going into hysterics, throwing punches into his chest yelling at him that he didn't try hard enough to help her mom, she remembers collapsing into his arms crying so hard while he held her, she remembers struggling to breathe because she couldn't get enough air in, then everything going black and quiet it felt nice and peaceful she wanted to stay, the harsh lights when she opened her eyes closing them immediately, only to open them again more slowly when she heard movement beside her relising then that someone was holding her hand she turned her head, hoping it was her mom and that she just had a horrific nightmare, but when she saw who it was she burst into tears realising it wasn't a dream it was her dad, her dad came and hugged her she cried even harder, she remembers going back to her house, it being empty and silent going to to her room to pack to go live with her dad and the step-monster going into her moms room and packing her moms favorite things, the funeral is one thing she doesn't remember well it went by in a blur people said a few words about how much they would miss her how great of a person she was _is_ Beca thought, she couldn't say anything so she played her moms favorite mix that she made instead, she remembers being sixteen and depressed new school new place no friends she wore black and heavy eyeliner she got her ears pierced and wore ear spikes, her dad didn't approve saying it was a silly thing to do, her dad finding out she got tattoos and yelling at her how she was defacing her body, they never seemed to get on whenever they spoke it used to end up in an argument Shelia the step-monster tried to get them to stop and get close to Beca but it made things worse she remembers coming home from a shit day at school running up to her room and grabbing her box running into the bathroom and locking the door, the hot feel of the water pelting down on her back as she cried her eyes were sore and red she seemed to cry a lot, opening the box and taking out the cool piece of metal turning it around her fingers looking down at her old scars that she made to relieve the pain she felt, the feeling of relief when she cut down hard onto her arm the blood dripping down her arm, the feeling of numbness as she fell in to bliss she was finally free, then the weight of something on her hand pulled her away she hears mumbling she wants it to stop so she can sleep opening her eyes to a harsh light a light that she woke to after being told her mother had passed, turning her head to see her father sitting there it looked like he had been crying he asked her why she just stared at him, her dad sent her to therapist she did not like her therapist she was rude so saying that she was just attention seeking Beca just never spoke during sessions eventually her dad said she didn't have to go, he was cautious from then about her using sharp objects being overly protective which resulted in more arguing when he saw her old scars he was disappointed and told her how pathetic it was and brung up her mom, then college came around she was happy to be leaving her dad even though it wasn't for what she wanted she wanted to be a DJ and produce music her dad said Djing is a hobby missing the music producer part which was a big part and seeming to have lived under a rock to not know the numerous successful Djs in the world, but he wanted her to get a college education for free he added she didn't go to her lessons until he made a deal with her _one month here join a club if you still don't like it i'll pay for you to go to LA_ , then that deal got broken when she got arrested _why do I bother he doesn't care noone does_ she told herself as he drove her home giving her a lecture of how stupid she was for getting arrested.

"You shut me out" Sebastian said bringing Beca out of her head.

"Yeah I shut everyone out don't take it personally its just easier"


	2. Chapter 2

After the talk with her dad Beca decided to go to the Bella's rehearsal as they got into the ICCA's as one team had a high school student in there group.

Walking into the auditorium Beca was shocked to see everyone was all over the place CR was touching Stacie's but Chloe and Aubrey were fighting over the pitch pipe on the ground , Fat Amy trying to stop them she guessed Lilly was well laying in the vomit she guessed was from Aubrey.

"Guys...guys stop what is going on" Beca asked in shock at what she was seeing.

"Nothing , this is a Bella's rehearsal" Aubrey said getting up from the ground grabbing the pitch pipe.

"I know I just wanted to say that i'm sorry what I did was a, really dick move and i shouldn't of changed the set without asking you guys, and I definitely shouldn't have left I let you guys down and i'm really sorry" Beca said taking a few breathes before she continued. "And Aubrey if you would have me I want back in" Beca said hoping that Aubrey would forgive her she was truly sorry.

Aubrey stared at Beca giving her a disproving look Beca looking back at her hopeful, everyone else looked between her and Aubrey hoping Aubrey would do the right thing and let her back in.

Beca seeming to realize that Aubrey wasn't going to let her back in started to walk away.

"Aubrey" Fat Amy whispered gesturing to Beca when she looked at her hoping this would make Aubrey let her back in.

Beca grabbed a chair and dragged it along behind her hoping this would help her case with the blonde but as she got closer to the exit she was starting to worry that the blonde was not going going to let her in.

When Beca reached the exit she gave one more hopeful look back to get Aubrey to change her mind seeing as she wouldn't Beca sadly walked out of the auditorium holding back tears.

"Aubrey how could you would it of been so bad to let her back in" Said Chloe angry at her friend she didn't see how she could be so cruel yeah what Beca did did cost them a place but they were back in now and even if they weren't she would still forgive Beca.

"Because that bitch needs to know that she nearly cost us a place at finals im not going to easily forgive her and saying sorry is not going to make what she did right" said Aubrey annoyed that her friend did not get that they nearly didn't get to finals it was sheer luck that one of the footnotes members was seen to be a high school student.

"How can you call her a bitch after what you just did" CR yelled in utter disbelief that Aubrey had just called Beca a bitch yeah she knew they didn't get on well but she at least thought they were being civil about it.

"She deserved it teach her a lesson never to do it again maybe she can re audition next year if you forgive her once you come to your senses" Aubrey said words rushing out her mouth.

"You're the bitch not Beca" Lily whispered, everyone heard to Lily's surprise and Aubrey just gave her evils which Lily just gave back.

"I can't believe you, I know how desperate you are about getting to the finals but you didn't need to do that to Beca you could of at least done it in a nice way if you didn't want her back in, even though that still would've been unfair" Stacie said upset at what she had just witnessed she really did not see how Aubrey could just not let it go now they got a chance at winning the ICCA's.

"look lets just have another hours practice then you can all go, be pissed at me all you want it isn't going to change my mind" Aubrey said annoyed but feeling slightly guilty at what she just did she could've let her down nicely save the girls feelings.

The next hour was cut short by twenty minutes no one seemed to put the effort into do it Chloe didn't wait for her and she was left to clear a way on her own she returned to her dorm to see Chloe was not in so Aubrey just showered and went to bed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Trigger warning mentions of self harm**

Beca opened the door to her dorm holding back tears, Kimmy Jin was in gladly her friends weren't there not that Beca had a huge dislike for them she just didn't want people to see her cry let alone Kimmy Jin.

Kimmy Jin looked up at her roommate from her desk as she slumped onto her bed, she got up and walked out the room not looking at Beca as she left.

Beca didn't care much that her roommate had left she got it, noone wanted to be around her she wouldn't want to be around her either, as the first tear slipped out all the others seemed to follow she couldn't stop them she put her face down on the pillow to stifle her sobbing.

She didn't notice that her roommate had returned until she felt a hand on her shoulder siting up and wiping her eyes as she tried to stop her sobbing, she saw Kimmy Jin holding a coffee out to her.

"You looked like you could use one" Kimmy Jin said as Beca tentatively took the coffee filled cup from her hand.

"Thanks" Beca said sadness in her voice no matter how hard she tried t hide it.

Kimmy Jin smiled a little as she walked back over to her desk to continue with her work.

Beca was surprised at what her roommate had done maybe she wasn't as cold as she thought she was, she sipped at her coffee enjoying the feeling of the hot liquid it made her feel a little better.

"Are you okay" Kimmy Jin asked after about twenty minutes of silence.

Beca just looked at her roommate.

"Stupid question sorry is it okay if I ask whats wrong" Kimmy Jin asked of course the girl wasn't okay she was crying.

"Its okay" Beca sniffed "Yeah um you know your typical college drama" Beca said not wanting to pin all her problems on her roommate she didn't even want to talk about it but Kimmy Jin was being nice so she was polite about it.

"Okay" kimmy Jin replied sensing her roommate didn't want to talk about it "but just so you know you can talk to me about it if you want I know we haven't spoke much but you can come talk to me if you want to" Kimmy Jin said hoping it might make her roommate feel better.

"Thanks" Beca said smiling a little.

After a while Kimmy Jin left she had to go help a friend study for an upcoming exam, After sitting around for an hour Beca decided to head to the showers hoping it might make her feel better.

 **(Trigger warning for below)**

Beca stood still as the hot water came down on her closing her eyes and ignoring the slight burn it gave her, opening her eyes and seeing the ever so familiar box in her wash bag she realized she hadn't used it in ages about four months to be exact the first being when her dad would not let her say her side of the story when she got arrested she didn't know what else to do even with her then friends the Bella's waiting up for her for her to see if she was okay.

Beca reached into the bag and pulled it out holding it for a while she had done so well theses past few months she didn't even do it when Aubrey first yelled at her for changing the set, but that didn't make her hurt as much as she was now and Jesse wasn't upset with her.

She opened the box seeing the piece of metal that seemed to smile at her she heard a voice in her head telling her, _just do it like anyone would care_ that's right no one would care her dad seemed to care at first when he tried to get her help even though she hated the fact she had to go see a therapist he was trying to help, when he saw she had other scars he just gave her a disproving look and brought her mother into the argument which to Beca just pushed him out her room and cried for what felt like years and cut that it was sore for days.

As Beca took the cool piece of metal out swirling it around in her fingers she felt calmer this would numb her make things better, she pressed the cool piece of metal to her skin sliding it across breathing in as she felt the slight skin seeing the blood drip, yes she felt better even if it was only a little she cut she made more small cuts up her arm, until she heard someone come in so she quickly cleaned the piece of metal put it back and fished her shower making sure there was no blood on the floor.

When Beca returned to her room Kimmy Jin had not yet returned, she changed into her moms old baggy shirt and obviously underwear and got under her covers trying to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Chloe didn't want to go back to her dorm room so she decided to go for a walk. She just couldn't stand to be around Aubrey right now she was angry with the blonde for what she had done, she could understand where she was coming from but there was no need to be a bitch about it let alone kick Beca out.

After about twenty minutes of walking Chloe decided she would go back to her dorm not that she wanted to be around Aubrey at that moment.

Entering her shared dorm room she saw that Aubrey had gone to sleep so she decided to get ready for bed.

Aubrey stirred hearing the door open but decided not to open her eyes five minutes passed and she opened them to see Chloe sat on her bed looking upset.

"You okay Chlo" Aubrey asked sitting up knowing it was a stupid question as soon as she said it.

Chloe gave Aubrey a look of utter disbelief "Yeah of course I am" Chloe answered sarcastically "Of course i'm not okay after what you just did, you were so unbelievably mean towards Beca I don't see what she has done to deserve such cruelty" Chloe said a few tears making there way down her cheeks she wiped them away furiously.

"I...I..." Aubrey said completely speechless feeling guilty for how she treated Beca she was just so pissed off at her after what she did at the semis she didn't want her to have another chance to decide to ruin all her work again.

"You what Aubrey" Chloe interrogated. "You don't care, you think shes a bitch or do you just want your way" Chloe said right in the blondes face having moved towards her during her rant.

Aubrey turned her face away from Chloe's.

"I don't know hat to say" Aubrey said feeling defeated.

"You had a lot to say to us earlier about Beca" Chloe said accusingly.

"LOOK I'M SORRY OKAY I DON'T KNOW WHY I TREATED BECA LIKE THAT I KNOW ITS STUPID I KNOW I..I SHOULD SAY APOLOGIZE TO HER IM SORRY FOR WHAT I SAID ABOUT HER JUST...just" Aubrey broke down into sobs Chloe sat down besides her and comforted her seeing that her friend was genuinely sorry about what she had done.

"Look how about tomorrow you go see Beca tell her your sorry bring her a coffee she probably won't forgive you straight away but at least she will know you are sorry" Chloe suggested.

Aubrey smiled at the idea, "Yeah great idea Chloe thanks um do you want to come with me" Aubrey asked tentatively.

"It would be better if you went alone and told her hey" Said Chloe she could see her friend was nervous but if she went it may seem she dragged Aubrey there to say sorry.

"Okay" Aubrey yawned.

"Right lets get some sleep so you can properly apoligise to Beca tomorrow" Chloe said playfully.

Aubrey just nodded as sleep overtook her Chloe went over to her own bed and got down under the covers and followed soon after.


	5. Chapter 5

_She woke to the sound of her mother throwing up again._

 _"Mom keeps throwing up a lot" Beca said to herself getting up to see if her mom was okay._

 _"Mom" Beca said soothingly as she walked into the bathroom._

 _"Sweetie did I wake you up im sorry" Becas mom Violet said before heaving into the toilet._

 _"No you didn't" Beca lied she didn't want to make her mom feel bad she knew she couldn't help it she hoped this bug would go away soon._

 _Beca rubbed her moms back as she threw up into the toilet more after another ten minutes Beca helped her mom get back into bed getting a cold damp flannel placing it on her head and placing a bin by her side so she, didn't have to walk to the bathroom._

 _"Thank you sweetie...could you please get me some aspirin my head is hurting" Violet asked sleepily._

 _"Yeah" Beca said heading into the bathroom to get her mom some aspirin before heading into the kitchen to get a glass of water._

 _"Here you go mom..get some sleep you look exhausted" Beca said placing the glass of water and aspirin down on the bedside table so she could help her mom sit up, handing her the water and aspirin._

 _"Thank you baby" Violet said taking throwing the aspirin in her mouth and taking a sip of water._

 _"Its okay mom hope you get better soon I don't like seeing you ill, maybe we should go see a doctor maybe they could give you something to make you better" Beca said upset her mom was still ill._

 _"Oh sweetie im okay just a bug i'll be better by tomorrow I Love you so much you know" Violet said opening her arms to the girl._

 _"I love you to mommy" Beca said getting up onto the bed and snuggling into her mom._

Beca woke up from her dream to the light shining through the curtains Kimmy Jin wasn't in the room she grabbed her phone to see what the time was it was 11:30 she missed her first class, her dad will probably have something to say about it but she couldn't care less.

"Oh you're awake" Kimmy Jin said entering the room.

"Huh" Beca said groggily rubbing the sleep out her eyes.

"Oh um this blonde girl came by to see you Aubrey I think her name was but I told her you were sleeping" Kimmy Jin said remembering the girl who came earlier that day.

"Oh"Beca said wondering what the blonde wanted now she had already been kicked out what more could she do to her.

Kimmy Jin went over to her desk to get some more books taking out the ones she didn't need.

"See you later" Kimmy Jin said awkwardly walking towards the door.

"Uh, yeah okay" Beca said as Kimmy Jin opened the door and walked out.

Beca got out of bed and walked to her closet picking out some black jeans and a long sleeved dark grey shirt and got changed, quickly brushing her hair and making herself look presentable and headed to the radio station for her shift.

* * *

Beca reached the radio station and set about stacking CD's as usual, she caught Jesse's eye who just gave her a cold stare and carried on stacking his CD's, Beca sadly looked away and carried on with her job.

"Hey im just gonna pop out for a bit okay won't be long" Luke said as he out the booth and towards the door.

"Okay man" Jesse said looking up briefly before looking back to the shelf he was stacking CD's on.

Beca didn't say anything she just carried on sorting through the CD's she had.

Luke had been gone for three minutes till Jesse started talking.

"Soo...how've you been" Jesse asked awkwardly to which Beca just shrugged.

"Okay I guess" Beca said quietly.

"Okay then" Jesse said not getting why Beca was being so quiet towards him.

"Um what...what about you..you been okay" Beca asked Jesse.

"Okay thanks rehearsals are going good hey what about you you Bella's have got another shot against us Trebels again now hey" Jesse said hoping this would lighten the mood up a bit.

"Oh uh...u I guess I..i'm not a Bella anymore so I wouldn't know" Beca said in almost a whisper Jesse almost missed what she said.

"Wait what, what happened" Jesse asked walking over to Beca.

"Oh Aubrey well you know I changed the set and all in the middle of the performance so sh uh she kicked me out, but hey when i walked in they were all fighting a sight to see but" Beca said hoping Jesse would get she didn't want to talk about it.

Luke walked through the door and Jesse went back to his stack of CD's to sort through.

"Uh Beca you okay quieter than usual" Luke asked he had been wondering why Beca was quiet and was thinking maybe her and Jesse had an argument seeing as he was no longer flirting with her.

"Yeah good thanks just a bit tired" Beca lied she didn't want everyone to know of her fuck ups.

* * *

Aubrey was in her law lecture she had yet to apoligise to Beca she went in the morning to say sorry to the girl but her roommate Kimmy Jin if she remembered right said she was sleeping, she guessed she will have to apoligise later.

"See you tomorrow don't forget your assignment is due in on Thursday" Her professor said as everyone piled out of the room.

She walked back to her dorm room as she had a free, she had nothing to do she had finished her assignment deciding to get it out of the way once she heard about being able to go to the ICCA'S.

"Oh hey Aubs, you apoligise to Beca yet" Chloe said looking up from her med work as she saw her roommate come in.

"No I went by this morning but her Kimmy Jin said she was sleeping so I'll just do it later" Aubrey said putting her bag down under her desk and sitting on her bed.

"Okay" Chloe said going back to her work.

They sat in silence for a few minutes until Chloe spoke.

"So when you gonna say sorry uh" Chloe asked she guessed she was nagging at the blonde but she didn't care she just wanted her to say sorry to Beca.

"I...I don't know I was gonna go later tonight but im not sure" Said Aubrey she didn't know if Beca had other plans now she was not a Bella.

"You're not sure...come on Aubrey you're not backing out on this apology are you" Chloe said annoyed.

"What no I just don't know when to do it I don't know where she is" Aubrey said.

"Well she has a shift at the radio station now ends in an hour you could go now so you know you're gonna catch her" Chloe suggested glad her friend was not backing out.

"Okay thanks" Aubrey said awkwardly walking to the door and heading to the station to see Beca.

When Aubrey reached the station she let herself in she told the man at the desk she was here to see Beca he pointed her in the direction to the back of the station.

She looked around first she saw Jesse he was usually goofing around and flirting with Beca but he wasn't she wondered why but she was here to see Beca not who Jesse had a crush on.

She walked further into the station and saw Beca stacking CD's onto a shelf she walked over to her not quite sure on what to say.

"Hi Beca" Aubrey said surprising herself when it came out in almost a whisper.

Beca turned around surprised to see the blonde standing there what dose she want does she want to hurt me more Beca thought as she she looked up at the blonde.

"Um Hi Aubrey" Beca replied to be polite and give the blonde less of a reason to get mad at her.

Jesse looked up to see Aubrey talking to Beca he didn't want to be rude and listen in so he went upstairs to see if anything needed doing up there.

"I..um came to apoligise to you about yesterday i'm sorry how I treated you" Aubrey said hoping that Beca would forgive her.

Beca just looked up at the blonde sorry wasn't going to fix what she had done Beca wouldn't admit but it hurt her feelings the way Aubrey had treated her she didn't have to let her back in she could've let her off nicely.

"Oh okay...um thanks I guess" Beca said feeling awkward shifting her weight.

Aubrey just stared at the brunette she came to say sorry and she got a thanks I guess she didn't get it, an its alright or you should be Aubrey could understand but a thanks.

"What do you mean thanks I guess" Aubrey said in a mocking way.

"I..I" Beca stuttered not sure what she done to upset the blonde.

seeing how that might of sounded Aubrey apologized.

"Sorry I just don't get what you mean by it" Aubrey said hoping Beca would understand.

"Oh um...I don't know you could've let me off a different way but i'm over it" Beca said unconvincingly.

"You don't look over it you would've gave me a different answer otherwise" Aubrey said as a matter of fact way.

"How do you know you don't know me all you ever did was argue with me when I was offering ideas you only ever liked yours and what you did to me yesterday maybe I wanted you to know how that felt" Beca said turning away from the blonde.

Aubrey stood there not quite believing what she said she was kinda mad but she got that she deserved it.

"i am sorry though I am Beca" Aubrey said pleadingly to the brunette.

"Really if you were sorry you would've said it earlier" Beca said getting annoyed she just wanted to be on her own.

"I needed to cool down and didn't fully realize what i did until later" Aubrey said guilty.

"Whatever" Beca said hoping Aubrey would leave.

Something snapped inside Aubrey she was trying to say sorry, Beca didn't need to forgive her but she could at least acknowledge Aubrey was sorry and relised her mistake.

"Hey i'm apologizing and you give me a whatever" Aubrey said angrily.

Beca looked up at the blonde what had she done now she seemed to make everyone mad the Bella's her so called friends had not come to see her and they didn't fight out at Aubrey to tell her to let Beca stay.

"Yeah well you don't deserve to be forgiven a whatever is being generous" Beca said starting to get upset.

"This is another reason why you're not back in the Bella's you don't give people the benefit of the doubt" Aubrey said getting into Becas face.

"But you don't deserve the benefit of the doubt" Beca yelled in Aubrey's face.

Jesse heard Beca yell at Aubrey so he walked down the stairs to see what the matter was.

"Oh yeah forgot you're a bitch and an attention seeking one at that" Aubrey said on her face.

"Takes one to know one" Beca said biting back at Aubrey's comment she knew she was an attention seeker her therapist being the only other to tell her in her face but she knew everyone thought it.

Luke hearing the commotion exited the booth to see what was going on.

"Yeah but at least i'm not out for myself" Aubrey snapped back Jesse was now standing by Luke both watching the pair argue.

"What i'm not out for myself you're the one obsessed with winning wanting to 'clear' your name" Beca bit back.

"You..you changed the set without asking us it was in the middle of our performance why do you always want your own way" Aubrey said voice rising the angrier she got.

"My own way you always get your own way the set is always the same boring songs, boring choreography because you want it i tried to help they were falling asleep in there I was only trying to help" Beca said getting frustrated.

"You don't decide to change things that you think are 'boring' or not, as long as it gets us to the ICCA's I don't care what you think" Aubrey said.

"That's the point you don't care what anyone thinks instead of being a fucking bitch when someone offers an idea why don't you listen and try it out it could work and would definitely be better than the set you've got going" Beca yelled in Aubrey's face.

Aubrey slapped Beca hard on her cheek, her hand stung from the force she had hit the brunette with, Luke and Jesse hurried towards the two, Beca was trying to hold back the tears but it was useless she brought up a hand to her cheek that was throbbing from the blow.

"How dare you call me a bitch you don't have the audacity to, after what you just did I would never do that I would respect my captain and have faith in her because she would know whats best for her team and i'm the captain and I know whats best for the Bella's that you are no longer a part of" Aubrey yelled in Becas face not caring that she had hurt her or the fact she was cowering under her glare.

"Aubrey, what the hell why did you do that for" Luke asked furious at what he just saw Jesse walked over to see if Beca was okay but she just ran out of the station.

"I...I.." Aubrey started.

"You know what I don't care i'm guessing you came here to say sorry for something like kicking Beca out of the Bella's, but you end up hitting her instead" Jesse said still not believing that Aubrey had just hit Beca.

Jesse walked up stairs needing to cool down walked outside for some fresh air he would find Beca later right now he just needed to breathe.

"Aubrey I think you should leave be glad that i'm not taking this to the dean" Luke said as he led her to the door.

Aubrey just walked away in a huff not bothering to look back.

"Hey Jesse gonna lock up and look for Beca coming with" Luke asked locking up he had put at least two and a half hours worth on his shift ended just before then so it was okay.

Luke messaged Chloe to let her know what had happened she said she would have a serious word with Aubrey.


	6. Chapter 6

Chloe was fuming she just sent Luke a reply, she couldn't believe what Aubrey had done she was fuming, all the blonde had to do was say sorry and maybe let her back in but Chloe thought that was being to hopeful.

The door opened and in came Aubrey Chloe waited for the blonde to sit down think of what to say.

"So how'd it go with Beca" Chloe asked deciding to give the blonde a chance to fess up.

Aubrey looked at Chloe guiltily and then looked away.

"You know...I...I said sorry...then we um...had another argument and..." Aubrey stammered she decided to tell Chloe.

"You hit Beca" Chloe said getting impatient with the blonde.

Aubrey looked at Chloe wondering how she knew about it.

"Luke told me I can't believe you, all you had to do was say sorry was that to hard for you to admit you did something wrong" Chloe said standing up.

"I didn't mean to she called me a bitch a fucking bitch her words I had the decency to apoligise and.." Aubrey said getting cut of by Chloe.

"So what she called you a bitch the way you treated her yesterday im not surprised and...maybe you are one" Chloe said shoving past the blonde and stepping out of her dorm.

Aubrey sank further into her bed, she flinched when Chloe slammed the door.

"What have I done" Aubrey thought to herself and got out the books she needed for her next lesson and headed there she'd have decide what to do later.

* * *

Beca had been walking around for thirty minutes she didn't know where she was going but she didn't want to be around anyone, her tear stained cheek was still red from were Aubrey had hit her and was now only slightly throbbing.

"What did I do to her" Beca thought to herself she got the blonde was mad at her for the set change at the semis but they are going to ICCA's now and she had kicked her out the Bella's Aubrey said she had come to apoligise and she did she should have just left after, but no instead she decided to make her feel miserable.

Jesse and Luke had rung her several times but she just ignored them they would probably want to say they are with Aubrey and she deserved it she didn't need being told what she already knew, surprisingly Chlo had rung her Aubrey had probably blabbed to her and Chloe wanted to have a go saying how much of a bitch she was.

Beca had reached her dads house, she didn't know how she ended up there but she was starting to get tired and she had nowhere else to go she didn't really feel like going back to her dorm.

Beca walked up the steps to the door and knocked, she began wondering what to say do I say what happened, or do I just lie lieing is easy right im good at liking Beca thought

Beca didn't notice that the door had opened until she heard someone clear their throat.

"Oh hi dad" Beca said looking up.

"Hey Beca what are you doing here, not that i'm not happy to see you" Sebastian said gesturing for Beca to come in.

"What i'm not allowed to see my own dad when i want" Beca said nervously trying to think of what to say.

"Beca.." Her dad started before Beca interrupted.

"So how are you and Shelia" Beca said sitting on a stall in the kitchen.

"I'm fine thank you Shelia is good to, she is out visiting her mom and dad this week, and how are you" Sebastian said whilst making them both coffee, surprised that Beca didn't say step-monster.

"Good goo all good" Beca said quickly she knew her dad could tell something was up so it was useless lieing but hey can't blame me for trying Beca thought.

"Beca..you said Shelia you usually call her step-monster or when you are told to be polite you try to be smart and say step-mother, whats up" Sebastian said sitting on a stall across from Beca handing her her coffee.

Beca took the coffee just starting at it for a while not sure if she wanted to tell her dad what had happened the past two days.

"Beca, you can tell me anything you know" Sebastian said placing a hand on his daughters shoulder, she wasn't the same after her mom died she never seemed to smile the same way it hit her harder than anyone else, **(TRIGGER WARNING)** he didn't know what to do but when he found her in the bath tub that day after breaking the door down she had been in there for, a while and wouldn't answer the door thinking the worse he thought she had fallen and hit her head, but it what he saw was far worse, her arms where bleeding and she looked so pale he checked for a pulse it was so weak he barley felt it yelling for Shelia to call an ambulance, Shelia ran to him with the phone asking what was wrong to tell the operator what she saw made her nearly pass out she quickly told them what she was seeing, Sebastian grabbed a towel and put pressure on the wounds hoping it would help the once white towl was now blood red, they were told that if he had not found her when he did she would have died, he was at a loss after that he sent her to a therapist to get help but she never spoke during sessions so he stopped her from going seeing it didn't help, he saw she had old scars he was not pleased and he knew he handled it wrong but he was just disappointing, upset and angry at himself for not being able to help Beca, he was pulled out of his thoughts when Beca started to speak.

"Aubrey kicked...me out the Bella's I guess i deserved that but...she..she" Beca said trying to hold back tears.

"Beca come here" Sebastian said standing up and opening his arms, Beca flung herself in his harms squeezing her eyes shut she didn't want to cry.

"She just glared at me...I dragged a chair out..she mad Mary-Elise do that when she kicked her out...and she still she could've let me of...nicely not like that noone stood up for me either I thought...they were my friends" Beca said starting to cry.

"Shh..hey its okay when they lose at ICCA's Aubrey would wish she had let you stay and the others would feel guilty for not fighting for you" Although Sebastian thought Djing is a hobby he thought his daughter had a good ear and was very talented in the area of music.

"They'll probably do better with out me..." Beca said feeling down hearted.

"Hey.." Sebastian said shocked at how disheartened his daughter looked.

"yeah but that's not all..." Beca started taking a moment to wipe her eyes still clinging to her dad she had stopped crying now but she still felt sad.

"What is it" Sebastian asked hugging his daughter back and gently rocking her back and forth.

"Aubrey came to say apoligise to me earlier at the station...and...and" Beca started why was she finding this hard it was easy just say what happened she thought to herself.

"Beca come on tell me...wait what happened" Sebastian asked noticing that she had a bruise forming on her left cheek.

Beca just sank further in to her dads arms and turned her face away from him.

"Beca..who did this to you" Sebastian started sitting Beca down and on a stool.

Beca looked away from her dad she didn't want to be a snitch and give Aubrey another reason to be mad at her.

"Beca" Sebastian said more sterner.

Beca flinched at his tone Aubrey was stern with her not that she was scared of her well she was a little now after she it her but she wasn't going to let anyone find that out.

"Come on Beca please tell me i won't be mad" Sebastian said softer realizing her shouldn't of been to stern with her.

"Aubrey" Beca whispered starting to cry again.

Sebastian didn't say anything he just took his daughter from her stool and lifted her onto his lap yeah she was to old for this but she looked so lost and broken, he held her tight as she sank further into his arms gently rocking her back and forth, rubbing small circles onto her back.

"Why do I have to fuck everything up, i'm such a fuck up..." Beca said between sobs, why did she have to mess up peoples lives she bet the Bella's would've got through to the ICCA's without her fairly not by some coincidence.

"Hey hey, don't say that you're not a fuck up, you don't mess everything up okay" Sebastian said saddened of how Beca thought of herself.

"I am i fuck everything up I messed up yours moms marriage if it wasn't for me you'd be together and she'd be here, i deserved what Aubrey did to me" Beca said she never told anyone how she blamed herself for the marriage but its true if she wasn't born her mom would be here because her dad would have made her see a doctor and done a better job looking after her.

"Beca...its not your fault me and your mom split, we just argued and we just didn't work anymore i still loved her dearly though and it wasn't you fault what happened she still might not be here no matter the circumstances in how we lived, and you didn't deserve to be hit you've never done anything to deserve such a thing" Sebastian said placing a kiss on her head feeling bad for how Beca was blaming herself for the divorce and her mothers death.

"You should've just left me to die" Beca said her voice void of emotion.

Sebastian didn't know what to say he was in shock so he just brought her as close to him as he could.

* * *

"Where is she" Jesse said they had been looking for Beca for about an hour now neither of them had a class even if they did they wouldn't go they had rung her several times but no answer.

"I don't know you know her better than me where'd she go if she was sad" Luke said at loss he knew Aubrey pretty well as they had business together.

"Oh hey guys" Chloe said waving at Jesse and Luke she had been looking for them as well as Beca.

"Hey Chlo how'd it go with Aubrey" Jesse asked.

"Well i decided to let her fess up but she was not getting to the point which is surprising i guess she feels guilty which is good but i came out to find Beca cos i cant be around her right now" Chloe said she was not as mad at the blonde as she was but she was still pretty angry.

"We've been looking for ages, and we can't think were'd she go" Luke said.

"We checked her dorm room but Kimmy Jin said she hadn't seen her since this morning" Jesse said surprisingly she wasn't cold like when he first met her.

"Okaay..." Chloe said chewing her lip raking her mind to think of where she could've got to.

"Hey isn't her dad a professor here maybe she went to see him" Luke said, he knew her parents were divorced and that she didn't have the best relationship with her dad.

"Yeah he's an comp lit professor here, lets check his office i'll ring Beca" Jesse said.

They headed to Professor Mitchel's office to find he was not there he had gone home he had no more classes to teach that day so he decided he would take some time to relax at home and do some marking.

"Where dose she live" Chloe asked.

"Ummm I don't know she never really spoke to me much unless it was to hand me a demo of her mixes" Luke said feeling guilty for how he never really spoke to the small girl.

"I think she lives on Orchid street not sure what house though" Jesse said Beca had told him where she lived during one of their famous movie nights.

"Okay lets head there anyway there, we could always ask if we get the wrong house" Chloe said it didn't matter which house they really only needed the street name.

"We can take my car" Luke said his car wasn't parked far from where they where as his dorm was close to the comp lit building, as they where walking towards the car park.

Once they there they got into his car not bothering to buckle up Luke started the engine and headed to Orchid street hoping Beca was there, nobody spoke they didn't know what to say they just wanted to find Beca.

* * *

 **Hope you are liking the story so far appreciate it if you could review to let me know how i am doing i don't know if i am going to do a pairing i might i don't know yet.**


	7. Chapter 7

Aubrey couldn't focus on what her professor saying, she was to busy feeling guilty from what she did earlier, why did i fucking hit her, Aubrey thought to herself she went into say sorry and she ended up hurting the brunette more, Aubrey couldn't get the look of Becas face out of her head she looked so hurt and scared, scared i hope she isn't scared of me, Chloe and Beca are right i am a bitch.

Her lesson went on for another hour and a half after that Aubrey headed to her dorm to get her wash bag to have a shower, after her shower Aubrey decided she'd go look for Beca and apoligise properly..this time she thought.

It had been looking for thirty minutes and Aubrey was walking up to her dorm to see if she was there she knew Chloe would've checked here but she may have gone to her dorm after Chloe had checked, Aubrey knocked on the door hearing movement behind it, after a few minutes the door was opened by Kimmy Jin.

"Oh hi um is Beca here" Aubrey asked she wasn't a fan of Kimmy Jin she was rather cold and was rude towards them when they were waiting in here for Beca to get, when she was arrested.

"No...you still need to talk to her i can pass a message on for you or something" Kimmy Jin said she wondered what the blonde could want she did have the brunettes number didn't she they are 'Bella's' together.

"Oh um no no its okay you can just say i'm looking for her" Aubrey said surprised at how nice Kimmy Jin was being at the moment.

"Uh yeah sure" Kimmy Jin said closing the door as Aubrey walked away.

Aubrey decided to text Chloe she didn't expect her to reply but she wanted to help, she didn't know how she was going to make it up to her but she had to.

 **Hey Chlo where are you guys, have you**

 **found Beca yet, please tell me you have**

 **and tell her i want to talk to her. oxoxo**

Aubrey sent here message getting a reply five minutes later usually Chloe texts her back immediately but then again after what she did Chloe would probably be mad at her for a while.

 **No we haven't, and why do you wanna**

 **talk to her so you can hit her again**

 **no i don't think so.**

Aubrey read the message, feeling a little hurt that she knew she deserved she typed out a quick reply.

 **Okay please can you let me know**

 **when you do find her, i want**

 **to say sorry i know it wont be enough**

 **xoxo**

Aubrey didn't know how long it had been till Chloe replied.

 **Fine, i'll tell you when i find her**

 **and yeah you're right**

 **'SORRY' won't be enough.**

Aubrey had read the reply, happy that she would know when Beca was found she continued her own search.

* * *

 **(Trigger warning sad stuff below if sad stuff effects you or have lost someone)**

 _Beca had just got of the bus, from school her day had been good but she wanted to get home and look after her mom her mom had seemed to look a bit better this morning, and she said she felt better they were going to go out for tea, their favorite place "Taco Bell' not fancy but they were delicious._

 _Beca put her key in the door an opened it, it was silent until she heard a faint moaning noise._

 _"Mom...mom where are you are you hurt" Beca asked but all she heard was more moaning._

 _Beca ran through the house following the noise, what she saw next she'd never forget._

 _"MOM.." Beca shouted running over to her mom and kneeling down beside her her mom was shaking a lot and had a bruise on her head she was scared and started to panic._

 _"Mommy whats wrong" Beca asked holding back tears, she was shaking she was so scared she had no clue what was happening she ran to the phone and dialed 911 hoping they could help._

 _"911 what service do you require"_

 _"Mambulance" Beca said not able to clearly get her words out._

 _"Okay can you tell me whats happened and where you live" The operator said._

 _"I need help my mom is...aking and she not stopping...her..head is ...ruised a bit" Beca said between sobs. "And...i live...i i...i live at Orchid...way number 54" Beca said now crying even more._

 _"Okay sweetie an ambulance is on it's way be around fifteen minutes...whats your, name and how old are you, my name is Greg and i'm forty five" The operator said softly, giving his own name and age to the girl to make her feel more comfortable. "And can you make sure there are no objects in the way that could hurt your mother and place a cushion under her head" The operator instructed._

 _"Okay..okay" Beca said doing just what the operator had asked, moving a few items out of the way that must have fallen on the floor when her mom fell, and getting up to get a cushion from the couch near by. "And my na..me is Beca...and...an...i'm fourteen, my moms names violet" Beca said quietly sitting beside her mom placing a kiss on her forehead. "I called..and ambulance mommy they are coming to help you now" Beca whispered._

 _The operator had to keep himself from crying from what he heard her say._

 _"Pretty names, you must be in grade nine now, whats your favorite subject mine was science i found it interesting" The operator said trying to keep the girl calm he could here her crying._

 _"Yeah...i...i like music i want ..to be a Dj and produce music, when i'm older" Beca answered._

 _"That's cool" The operator said, genuinely thinking it was cool._

 _"Sweetie i need you to tell me how long your mom has been shaking for and is your dad around is there anyone you can call" he operator asked this was something he needed to know, so the ambulance would know what to do._

 _"I...I...don't know i came home and she was...shaking on the...floor and my dad isn't here he and mom are divorced, and i don't know" Beca said feeling helpless she should know how long she should've stayed home to look after mom, just incase, and she really didn't know who to call she was panicking._

 _"Its okay how long has it been since you've been home, and is she still shaking" The operator said feeling sorry that the girl as having to experience this alone., he heard her start to panic so instructed her to breathe slower with him which seemed to calm her down a little._

 _"Six minutes and yeah she...still shaking.." Beca said sniffing her cheeks were soaked by the amount of tears that had fallen._

 _"Beca please breathe slowly with me okay...in...and out...in...out" The operator instructed_

 _"Okay" Beca said taking breaths in and out slowly, it made her feel a little calmer but she needed her mom to be better to be fully calm._

 _"Okay the ambulance should be there soon" The operate said._

 _Not long after that was said there was a knock at the door._

 _"Ambulance" A voice said._

 _"They're here" Beca said getting up to answer the door her legs feeling weak for sitting in the same position for so long._

 _"Okay i'm gonna go now they are going to help your mom now bye" The operate said to Beca hoping that all would end well for her wishing he could say it would be alright but he didn't want to say it incase it wasn't._

 _"Okay bye" Beca said as she reached the door an opened it._

 _Beca hung up the phone and opened the door as she led the paramedics to where her mom was they set to work saying different words amongst each other that Beca didn't understand they asked her questions, if she knew of any medical history which wasn't much, how long she had been shaking for._

 _"She..has..been fe..eling ill...like she has a bug and...headaches and she had a fever...last night...she said she felt a lot better this morning though.." Beca said crying loudly towards the end of her sentence._

 _"Okay its okay we are gonna help your mom okay come on" A paramedic said walking Beca out of the house and towards the ambulance._

 _"Once in the ambulance they notified the hospital that they were coming with a patient who had been seizing for seven minutes her mom had finally stopped when the ambulance had arrived._

 _Beca had been told to wait as she watched them wheel her mom away, the chairs were uncomfortable, she wanted her mom she wanted to give her a hug and look after her, Beca was drawn out of her thoughts when a doctor walked out calling her name she walked over to him, looking up ready for him to say she could go see her mom now, and that she was better._

 _But what she heard was not what she wanted to hear._

 _"I'm sorry to have to tell you this but your mom passed away we tried everything we could she had a brain tumor i'm so sorry for your loss" The doctor said this was the worst part of his job a part that he will never be used to._

 _"What" Beca cried. "You should've tried harder..your a..a doctor you help people get better you should make her better...tried harder...you didn't try hard enough" Beca cried hysterically._

 _Small fists punching into his chest that did not make an impact, the doctor just held her arms, she then fell into the doctor as her legs gave way crying hard soaking his scrubs._

 _"I want my mommy...please give me her back...i want mommy" Beca cried sobbing hard she wasn't getting enough air in she barley registered the doctors words as he held her, she didn't register him telling her to breathe._

 _"I want my mommy" Beca whispered before her world went black._


	8. Chapter 8

Beca woke with a start breathing heavily from the dream she just had, sweating and tangled in sheets she looked around to see she was in her room.

"I don't remember falling asleep" Beca thought to herself.

Beca sat there on her bed for about five minutes until she felt the sudden urge to throw up, she ran to the bathroom bringing up what little she had ate that day, hearing some noise Sebastian wondered up stairs, following the retching noise into the bathroom he held his daughters hair back rubbing small circles on her back.

"Im okay..im okay thanks" Beca said as she finally stopped heaving into the toilet and stood up only to wobble slightly.

Sebastian steadied her and held her up while she rinsed out her mouth and splashed cold water onto her face.

"Your cheek okay" Sebastian asked noting that the bruise had gotten larger while his daughter had slept.

"Yeah fine...feels a little sore but its okay" Beca said quietly leaning against the sink for support.

"Okay...feel like eating anything" Sebastian asked.

Beca shook her head and stared ahead of her not focusing on anything in particular.

"Okay you wanna drink or do you wanna lie down or both" Sebastian asked trying to get Beca to speak with him.

"Just lie down" Beca said quietly feeling drained.

"Hey um i heard you missed your lesson first period..do you want to tell me why i'm won't be mad, promise" Sebastian said he knew he probably shouldn't bring this up but he needed to know so he could tell her professor, so her professor didn't yell at her again.

 _Sebastian was walking down the hall he had a break and decided to meet Beca outside her philosophy class and get a bite to eat, they didn't talk much he wanted to change that. As he got closer to her room he heard yelling thinking it was some student disrupting a class or not handing in an assignment that was two weeks overdue, didn't think much of it until he saw it was coming form the room Becas class was in. He looked through the window to see the professor shouting at Beca in front of the class something about being late, overdue assignments and not be lazy, Beca trying to plead her case he stepped in telling the class to go once they were gone her professor started to explain._

 _"Ah Mr Mitchel your daughter here has been late on numerous occasions, skipped five and she hasn't handed in two assignments, one is a month over due" The professor said glancing at Beca every now and then giving her disproving looks Beca was feeling smaller than ever looking down and avoiding eye contact with her dad why do i have to be such a disappointment she thought to herself._

 _"If she continues this behavior..." The professor started but was cut of by an angry Mr Mitchel._

 _"How dare you shout at my daughter especially in front of the class, I will deal with this problem and if you ever shout at her again" Sebastian said voice leaving no room for argument, he never really liked the man but he was professional about it._

 _They walked out the room Beca glancing up at her dad when he looked Beca she looked back down._

 _"Beca..." Sebastian started but he was cut off by Beca._

 _"I'm sorry I didn't mean to i set alarms i just don't always hear them and i fall back to sleep most days, i try to get my assignments done on time but its hard i'm...i'm sorry for disappointing you" Beca said quickly not wanting her dad to be mad._

 _"Its okay Beca i'm not disappointed, you should've come to me if you were finding it hard, i'm a little annoyed about the alarm thing though but that can easily be sorted want to grab a coffee and bite to eat" Sebastian said giving his daughter a hug._

 _Beca nodded so they headed to a small cafe on campus_

Sebastian was pulled from the memory by Becas voice.

"I over slept i'm sorry i was just really tired and i forgot to set my alarm again i'm sorry" Beca said hoping her dad would not get mad at her.

"Its okay its okay i was just wondering i don't want your professor yelling at you again okay" Sebastian said noticing Beca grimace mention of that memory.

Sebastian walked Beca to her room laying her down on her bed and helping her get comfy, he started to walk away but he felt Becas small hand on his arm he turned around to see what she wanted.

"Please stay daddy" Beca said innocently, not noticing she said daddy.

Sebastian stood there for a moment wondering why she just called him daddy she hadn't done that since she was seven.

"Sure sweety" Sebastian said laying down beside her, Beca moved over to give him more room and snuggled into his chest.

They stayed there for awhile, till there was a knock at the door.

* * *

They had been driving for ten minutes, it was a comfterble silence noone knowing what to say.

Chloe's phone broke the silence she saw she had a message from Aubrey, she didn't want to deal with her right now.

"Whats up" Jesse asked from the front turning to see the annoyed expression on Chloe's face.

"Aubrey wants to know about Beca she wants to know if we found Beca, she wants to talk to her" Chloe said in disbelief.

"She is not going anywhere near Beca after what she just did to her" Luke stated, stopping at a red light.

"Not gonna let her" Chloe said typing her reply she didn't rush like she usually did.

A minute after she sent the text Aubrey replied.

"Nope sorry wont be enough" Chloe said under her breath, putting her phone in her pocket after typing out a quick reply agreeing with Aubrey.

"How long till we get there Becas been gone for almost two and a half hours" Jesse said getting worried he didn't care if the brunette didn't come back with them as long as she is safe then it would be okay.

Turning into Orchid street Luke parked the car and cut the engine.

"Well we're here now come on" Luke said getting out the car Chloe and Jesse following.

They walked up to the first house knocking and getting no answer, Luke knocked again incase noone heard him knocking seeing that noone was coming to answer the door they walked over to the next house, the door was answered by an elderly lady.

"Hello um sorry wrong house but do you by any chance Know of a Beca Mitchel or Mr Mitchel Beca is our friend we are trying to find her" Jesse asked trying not to seem rude.

"No sorry dear" The old lady said she shut the door, the group turned down the steps and onto the next house.

"Hello" Luke said as the door was answered by a man who seemed to be in his mid thirties.

"Do you know a Beca Mitchel or a Mr Mitchel we are trying to find them" Chloe asked as the man was joined by a women with a toddler on her hip.

"Ahh yes, house number fifty four over there" The man said pointing across the road to a house with an SUV in the drive.

'"Thank you" all three said as they ran across the street.

Luke knocked on the door not wasting anytime, a few minutes had passed and he was about to knock again when the door was answered by Mr Mitchel.

* * *

 **Reviews are welcome again. hope everyone is enjoying summer. even though i prefer fall i do like some good sun..:)**


	9. Chapter 9

Sebastian looked at the group for a second before he spoke, he Knew Jesse and Luke were the people Beca worked with and Chloe as one of her .friend'.

"How can i help you three" Sebastian asked.

"Is Beca here" Jesse asked getting straight to the point. "We've been looking for her".

"Yes she is, why" Sebastian asked seeing the look of relief on the groups faces.

"Well has she told you what happened between her and Aubrey" Chloe asked unsure whether or not to tell the man with out consent of the brunette.

"Yes she has" Sebastian started the group nodding their heads. "And she also told me how you Chloe, and the rest of the Bella's didn't stand up for her against Aubrey, i know she is the captain but i thought you were all friends with her" Sebastian said softly.

"Uh uh i..." Chloe stuttered feeling guilty, noone stood up for her when Aubrey kicked her out in the harshest way possible.

Sebastian could see Chloe looked guilty, the other two were just staring at her in disbelief they thought Chloe of all people would stand up for someone she cared about even if it was against Aubrey.

"Can we see her, if Beca's okay with it of course" Jesse asked hoping they'd be allowed to.

"Im not sure if she's up to it, but i'll go ask her come in" Sebastian said walking back into the house.

The group walked in and waited by the door not knowing what to do while they waited, to see if Beca was willing to see them.

"Chloe why didn't you stand up for her" Luke asked feeling a little upset with the red head.

"It thought Aubrey..would change her mind if it makes you feel better Amy whispered to her" Chloe said knowing by the looks on their faces it didn't.

"Still though you didn't go after her i get she has a 'don't approach me' stance especially when she's upset but still, that shouldn't stop you" Jesse said he knew Beca could be non approachable at times but that wouldn't stop him.

"I was to busy having a go at Aubrey after she ran of we all were" Chlo said looking down feeling ashamed of herself that she didn't go after the brunette.

Sebastian walked into Becas room, seeing her in the same position as he left her.

"Hey, Beca" Sebastian said quietly incase she was sleeping.

"Mmmm da..d" Beca said yawning and sitting up rubbing her eyes.

"Luke, Jesse and Chloe are downstairs they've been looking for you" Sebastian said sitting down beside his daughter.

"Mmm what do they want" Beca said laying her head down on her dads shoulder.

"They want to see you" Sebastian said. "But you don't have to see them if you don't want to, okay" Sebastian said not wanting Beca to feel like she had to see them.

"Its okay i'll see them" Beca said standing from her bed and walking out her room.

"Do you want me to come with you, i don't have to if you don't want me to just wondering" Sebastian asked awkwardly.

"No its okay, but thanks" Beca said stopping at the top of the stairs looking back, smiling slightly.

Beca walked down the stairs to find the three waiting by the door she gestured them to follow her, she lead then to the living room sitting down on a chair bring her knees up to her chest.

"Hi" Beca said not making eye contact with any of them.

"Hi, you okay" Luke asked, Beca just stared at him for a second before looking away.

"Fine" Beca said bluntly.

"You don't look fine to me" Chlo said wanting Beca to tell the truth.

"You didn't stand up for me, non of you did" Beca said annoyed at the red head.

"I'm sorry, Amy did whisper to Aubrey while you were walking away, we all had a go at her after you left" Chloe said hoping it would make the brunette feel a little better.

"Still doesn't make it any better i don't know if you're telling the truth...you didn't come see me yesterday like you didn't care why start caring now" Beca said voice rising with anger at Chloe.

"I always cared Beca, i just wanted to give you some space i can't speak for the others but i bet its for the same reason" Chloe said a little annoyed that Beca didn't trust what she had said.

"You still could've come after me if i wanted space i would've just said so" Beca said quietly.

"Sorry" Chloe said looking Beca in the eye.

Beca just nodded not fully accepting the apology she, didn't know whether Chloe was telling the truth she had never lied to her before but with what happened over the past two days she didn't feel like she could trust any of the Bella's.

"Hey um Aubrey said she wanted to talk to you" Luke said getting an angry look from Chloe as he told Beca.

Beca tensed a little at the mention of the blondes name before speaking.

"Why i don't want to see her" Beca said not wanting to be anywhere near the blonde.

They weren't surprised that Beca didn't want to see the blonde but they couldn't blame her after what Aubrey had done.

"Hey" Jesse said walking over to the brunette and giving her a hug, surprised when she hugged him back. "You don't have to if you don't want to, we won't make you" Jesse said soothingly.

"She wanted us to tell her when we found you is it okay if we tell her" Luke asked.

Beca just nodded and Chloe sent a quick text to Aubrey telling her they had found Beca and that she was okay, also stating that Beca doesn't want to see her, not long after Chloe got a reply.

Thank goodness, you found

her and okay i understand

she doesn't want to see me

xoxox

"Well, Beca do you want to come back to campus with us" Luke asked standing up.

Beca shook her head she just wanted to stay here she didn't feel like being around Kimmy Jin she usually had her friends round so she didn't really want to be in the way of that, and what if she bumped into Aubrey she didn't want to make the blonde mad at her again.

"Okay that's okay" Chloe said standing up following Luke to the door, she was upset that Beca didn't want to return with them but she at least she would be okay here with her dad.

"I'll be there in a minute" Jesse said standing up, Beca stood to looking anywhere but at Jesse. "hey, um can we talk i.." Jesse said before getting cut of by Beca.

"Whats there to talk about, you said you were done 'with whatever this is'" Beca said looking up in to Jesse warm brown eyes her cold blue ones staring back.

"I..I know but its just" Jesse said not being able to find the right words.

"What is it Jesse" Beca said getting frustrated at his stalling.

"Look i...i'm sorry for what Aubrey did i think it was unfair and uncalled for and i know its late but sorry for being so cold the other day" Jesse said he was annoyed at the time but the day after he felt ashamed of himself there was probably a reason why she closed people out who got close and she didn't have to tell him that if she didn't want to.

"Its okay...i'm sorry to" Beca said seeing that Jesse was truly sorry, she felt bad for lashing out on Jesse she shouldn't of let her anger out on him he was only trying to help.

"Its okay you have nothing to be sorry for" Jesse said bringing the brunette in for a hg, she hugged him back tightly before pulling back.

"You gonna be staying here for the night then" Jesse asked while they walked to the door.

"Yeah i..i don't want to be in the way of Kimmy Jin and her friends" Beca said looking down.

"Alright, well i'll see you tomorrow" Jesse asked.

"Maybe i don't know the thought of college right now" Beca said opening the door, not feeling like college at the moment.

"Okay then so i'll maybe see you tomorrow then" Jesse said smiling walking out the door and waving to Beca.

Beca waved back and watched the car go down the street before shutting it and leaning against it letting out a breathe.

"How'd it go" Sebastian asked.

"Okay, Chloe said sorry apparently Amy whisper to Aubrey, and they all had a go at her after i left but how do i know whether they are telling the truth or not, and Aubrey wants to talk to me, but i..i..i don't want to see her" Beca said.

"You don't have to see her if you don't want to Beca" Sebastian said as Beca moved away from the door and into the kitchen sitting on a stool.

"They said that to, but Aubrey will still probably try to anyway" Beca said knowing when the blonde wanted something she usually got it.

"She won't, after what she has done she will know to give you space and time and talk to you when you're ready" Sebastian said.

Beca nodded laying her head in her arms the past two days had been eventful Jesse had been annoyed at her or mad she thought, she had gotten kicked out of the Bella's you deserved that though, you know it you messed up you fuck up the voice in her head told her Beca tried not to listen but she knew it was true, then Aubrey finds her to say sorry then ends up hitting her, she was broke out of her thoughts by her dads voice.

"Fancy anything to eat i can make something, or order a take out" Sebastian asked it had been along day and she could do with something to eat.

"No thanks, i'm not hungry" Beca said she knew she hadn't eaten all day but she just wasn't hungry.

"Have you eaten today" Sebastian asked to make sure she had something in her system.

"Yeah" Beca lied she didn't want her dad to make her eat anything.

Sebastian knew she was lieing, she had never been good at lieing.

"Beca i know you're lieing you need to eat something, it doesn't have to be a lot" Sebastian said not wanting to force food on his daughter when she didn't want any.

"I don't want to eat anything, i'm not hungry" Beca said looking up at her dad pleading a little with her eyes.

"Okay..do you want a drink" Sebastian asked a little disappointed that Beca didn't want to eat but he didn't show it.

"Yeah can i have...some water please" Beca asked, Sebastian nodded opening a cupboard to get a glass and filled it with water before handing it to her.

Beca thanked her dad before drinking half the glass in two gulps.

"Thirsty" Sebastian playfully asked Beca nodded and smiled a little at her dad.

Sebastian ordered some take out for himself getting enough for him and Beca incase she changed her mind and decided she wanted to eat, when the take out came they headed to the living room to eat, Beca didn't change her mind and sat there staring at the wall in front.

"Can i..can i please stay here tonight" Beca asked as they were sat on the couch, her dad watching some documentary about Penguins.

"Of course you can Beca, you're always welcome here stay as long as you want" Sebastian said, Beca smiled glad her dad allowed her to stay.

After Sebastian had finished eating he packed the leftovers in the fridge and handed Beca some towels so she could have a shower, **(Trigger Warning)** Beca was waiting for the shower to get warm when her eyes landed on a packet of razors, she took one out stepping in the shower she held it for a moment debating whether or no if she should do it _go on do it like anyone would care if they found out, it will help you know it will_ Beca closed her eyes and broke out the piece of metal holding it before breathing deeply and brought it down to her sting, she felt the families faint sting on her arms as the blood seeped through the cut, she felt better she made some more cuts along arms and thighs before washing off any trace of blood and stepping out of the shower, Beca dried herself of before getting changed quickly into the baggy jumper and sweat pants her dad had found her to wear, she wrapped the piece of metal in tissue before chucking it in the bin and walking out of the bathroom.

Beca walked down into her room and got under the covers and laid there for awhile, her dad walked in and sat on her bed.

"Do you need anything, water a hot chocolate" Sebastian asked as Beca sat up.

"No thanks, i'm good" Beca said shifting her position to get comfy.

"Okay..okay well goodnight then" Sebastian said patting her arm, Beca winced slightly which didn't go unnoticed by him.

"Beca your arm okay" Sebastian asked starting to lift her sleeve up, Beca quickly pulled her arm away and shoved them under the covers.

"Yeah fine fine" Beca said she knew her dad didn't believe her but she had to try she didn't want her dad to know he would probably kick her out and not let her stay the night.

"Beca let me see your arms please" Sebastian said stern but soft, holding his hand out to take Becas arm.

Beca looked at him for a moment before slowly taking her arm out from under the covers and handing it to him, she looked away as he pulled her sleeve up hearing the gasp that escaped his mouth, she prepared herself for him to kick her out, but she was surprised when he pulled her in for a hug, she hugged him back tightly as the tears stung her eyes.

"Beca why" Sebastian asked he wasn't mad at Beca just upset that she felt she had to do this.

Beca replied with a sob and hid her face in his chest, Sebastian rubbed soothing circles on her back after a minute of sitting there Beca spoke.

"I...I'm sorry daddy i don't mean to disappoint you" Beca sobbed, she always had to disappoint someone her dad, Aubrey, Jesse even the Bella's

"Hey hey it's okay i'm not disappointed" Sebastian said pulling away slightly to look at his daughter.

Beca sniffed and looked away, how can he stand to look at me Beca thought which made her cry more.

"Hey hey" Sebastian said placing a finger under her chin making her look at him. "Don't worry i'm not disappointed and i'm not mad" Sebastian said pulling his daughter back in to his arms.

They had sat there for twenty minutes and Sebastian noticed Becas breathing had evened out, trying not to wake her he carefully laid her down covering her with her sheets placing a kiss on her forehead.

"I love you baby" Sebastian whispered before turning away to leave.

"I love you to daddy" Beca sleepily whispered.

* * *

 **Thanks for reviewing and favoring and all, a Penguin documentary was the first thing that popped into my head. also i got som DM's first pair cause yeah and i love them. but yeah let me know how you think this is going. :P**


	10. Chapter 10

Aubrey wasn't surprised that Beca didn't want to see her she wouldn't want to see her either after what had she had done, when Chloe returned home Aubrey was getting ready for bed.

"Hey how's Beca" Aubrey asked walking towards Chloe hoping she was okay.

"She's upset, not just with you but with me the Bella's we didn't fight for her or go after her when she ran off, i explained that we bitched at you and that Amy whispered to you to let her stay in but, she said she can't trust i'm telling the truth, you hurt her pretty bad Aubs...and so did me and the others" Chloe said slumping down her bed Aubrey sitting down beside her.

"I'm sorry" Aubrey said not knowing what else to say.

"Yeah..okay" Chloe said not fully believing the blonde.

"I am sorry Chlo, i know i was a bitch to Beca and i feel terrible for what i did i don't know why i hit her i don't know why i wanted to hurt her i just felt pissed at her and wanted my own back i..i" Aubrey said getting cut off by a confused Chloe.

"Wait you wanted to hurt her, why" Chloe asked in shock, Aubrey wanted to hurt her is she even really sorry then she thought.

"I was mad at her about the semis and i didn't trust her not to ruin it again, so i just didn't stop her from leaving make it seem like her decision that she made so she couldn't bitch that i kicked her out, and when i went to apoligise i was just annoyed that she was being difficult it was like she didn't acknowledge i was sorry saying 'whatever' and calling me a bitch so i got mad and i hit her, i said How dare she call me a bitch and that she didn't have the audacity to, after what she did...i said i wouldn't do that and respect my captain" Aubrey said ashamed of what she had done over the past few days.

Chloe sat there taking in what Aubrey had said, she was shocked she didn't know that the blonde could be so cruel she knew she usually wanted her own way and would sometimes go the wrong way about it but, she didn't think she would do this.

"Well you're gonna have to give Beca some time she looked uncomfortable at the thought of seeing you" Chloe said standing up to get changed for bed.

"What she isn't scared of me is she...please tell me shes not...is she" Aubrey asked, oh crap no i hope she isn't scared damn Aubrey you're a Posen what would father think he would be so disappointed at what you have done, Aubrey thought to herself.

"No i don't think she is but, i just don't think she is ready to see you yet" Chloe said sitting back down.

Aubrey nodded and got into bed having changed earlier but waited up for Chloe, they both laid there in silence for a minute until Chloe spoke.

"I can't guarantee she'll forgive you, but you gotta have one heck of an apology ready to make it up to her" Chloe said before turning and facing the wall closest to her.

Aubrey didn't reply she just stared at the ceiling thinking of how to apologize to the small girl sighing she turned over facing Chloe's bed it wasn't long before they were both asleep.

* * *

Beca had woken up early, her arms were sore from where she had cut and she then remembered her dad knew, he hadn't been mad or anything like she had expected instead he just hugged her close to him, shaking her head Beca got out of bed and made her way downstairs she was tired from what had happened the past few days, Beca made her way into the kitchen she saw her dad was already up making some coffee he turned around and greeted Beca.

"Morning Becs..coffee" Sebastian asked, noting how tired Beca looked.

Beca nodded, sleepily sitting on a stool she muttered a small thanks as her dad handed her thee coffee filled mug.

"You want anything to eat" Sebastian asked hoping Beca would say yes.

"I'm not really hungry" Beca said looking down, she knew that he'd be annoyed but she just wasn't hungry.

"Beca you need to eat something you had no tea yesterday i don't even know if you ate" Sebastian said he was annoyed that she didn't want to eat but he stayed calm for Becas sake.

"I'm sorry i'll try if to eat something for you" Beca said, hoping the suggestion would please her dad.

"Okay, what would you like we've got toast, cereal, porridge i can even make you pancakes if you want" Sebastian said.

"Um i.. i would like pancakes please if it's okay" Beca said, not wanting to cause her dad to much trouble for her.

"Of course it is, what would you like on top or do you just want them plain" Sebastian asked as he set to work making Becas breakfast.

"Um could i please have..um maple syrup on them with butter" Beca asked"

"Sure thing" Sebastian said as he set her pancakes on a plate in front of her passing her the bottle of syrup before getting himself a bowl of cereal.

Beca squeezed some syrup onto her pancakes, picking up her fork and cutting a piece off, her dad had made her three pancakes, she wouldn't eat them all but she said she'd eat a bit putting the piece of pancake in her mouth relishing the sweet taste of the syrup.

"What time are your classes today" Sebastian asked trying to start up a conversation.

"I have a class at half eleven and another at three and a shift at the station at seven" Beca said swalloing her third mouthful.

"Okay, well i have classes till lunch then i have them till five, we could grab some lunch if you wanted" Sebastian asked, finishing his bowl of cereal.

"Yeah that'd be nice thanks" Beca said, she felt happy that they were getting closer they never had the best relationship, but he was there for her when it really mattered like when her mom died, the day when she..she didn't want to even think about that and he was there for her now and that made Beca happy.

"Okay, are you getting full" Sebastian asked, noticing how she was struggling she had barely made it half way through her first pancake but she had ate a bit and that was fine with him.

Beca just nodded and took her plate away he put the pancakes in a container so she could have, them later if she wanted them.

"Do you want to stay here till i finish for lunch or fo you want me to drop you off at college" Sebastian asked putting the dirty dishes and cutlery in the dishwasher.

"Can you drop me off at college please" Beca asked, not wanting to go back but she'd have to sooner or later.

"Okay i don't have go for another hour and a half so don't worry about rushing" Sebastian said, noting Beca's cheek was still badly bruised and was slightly swollen he pointed this out softly to which she just shrugged.

Beca nodded and made her way upstairs to get ready, she was glad that she kept some of her long sleeved shirts here she'd have to wait till she got to her dorm to put on make up, making her way downstairs she found her dad still in the kitchen going over some work she sat in the stool opposite him and he looked up.

"So what you planning on doing today then" Sebastian asked, since Beca had no classes till half eleven.

"Um i don't know probably stay in my dorm till lesson" Beca said.

Sebastian nodded not sure what to say guessing she didn't want to bump into the blonde she opted to hide in her dorm and only leave if necessary.

"Might as well be on our way, you ready to go" Sebastian said grabbing his coat and car keys.

Beca nodded and they headed to the car and they were soon on their way.

* * *

Aubrey had woken up early as usual, having finished getting ready by the time Chloe woke up.

"Oh morning Chlo" Aubrey said, they had a Bella's rehearsal in an hour not that she wanted to go to it.

'Morning" Chloe yawned, wondering what the would bring.

"We have rehearsals in an hour" Aubrey said enthusiastically.

"Yeah not looking forward to it either" Chloe said getting out of bed to get dressed.

"They're gonna be mad, do they know about mine and Becas other incident so to speak" Aubrey said awkwardly, she would be lying if she said she didn't care if they knew.

"No, i haven't told them and i doubt Beca has and anyway maybe we shouldn't tell them it would lead to more arguments and i don't us all falling out" Chloe said, they deserved to know but maybe not right at this moment yeah the blonde deserved some Bella's ranting at her but not at the cause of a fall out.

"Okay..okay" Aubrey said glad that Chloe didn't want them to know.

When Chloe finished getting ready they headed towards the auditorium to get on with the Bella's rehearsal.

"What up bitch" Stacie said as she brushed passed the blondes shoulder.

Aubrey just ignored the comment Stacie made and announced what they would be doing for the next three hours.

"Right then..." Aubrey started until she was cut off by Amy.

"Yo blonde bitch, you got off your high horse and apologized to Beca yet" Amy asked, still pissed at the blonde.

Aubrey looked at Chloe who looked back Aubrey mouthed tell them, Chloe nodded they'd probably find out sooner or later anyway.

"Well Aubrey went to apologize yesterday at the station, she said sorry but they got into another argument and Aubrey hit her and she ran off...Beca is okay she stayed with her dad last night" Chloe said, looking at the group they each wore a shocked, appalled and horrified expression.

"WHAT THE FUCK" CR yelled, she couldn't believe what she had just heard what did the brunette do that made Aubrey so mad to hit her it was never right to hit anyone.

"I'm sorry i really am i..." Aubrey was saying until she was cut off by the angry Bella's all shouting at once.

"YOU BITCH" Jessica yelled getting in the blondes face.

"I KNOW HOW TO HIDE A BODY" Lilly loudly whispered.

"IS SAYING SORRY HARD FOR YOU" Ashley asked shoving the blonde slightly.

Aubrey stumbled back slightly she took all what they said to her she didn't bother to stop their insults.

"ENOUGH" Chloe shouted, looking back at Aubrey before facing the group. "I know what Aubrey did was uncalled for and Beca doesn't want to see her so there isn't anything Aubrey can do right now".

The group stood there in silence giving Aubrey dirty looks.

"Fine but i'm going" Denise said. "Can't stand to be around a bitch" with that she grabbed her bags and left.

"Me too" Amy said walking away, soon all the Bella's left, Aubrey and Chloe standing there in silence.

"Well then we better get going now hey" Aubrey said before quickly walking out of the door.

Chloe was left alone in the room she grabbed her bag and slowly walked out, great she thought to herself you get into the finals after a small mistake someone made and this happens, with that she headed to her dorm she had assignments to finish anyway.

* * *

Beca arrived at her dorm and walked in, Kimmy Jin was sitting on her bed reading a book she looked up when she heard the door shut.

"Beca your cheek what happened" Kimmy Jin asked putting down her book and turning to the small girl.

Beca shrugged and got out her make up to hide the bruise and applying her usual black eyeliner.

"Where were you last night, just wondering" Kimmy Jin asked.

"Dads" Was all Beca said getting her books ready before laying on her bed.

"Did you catch Aubrey" Kimmy Jin asked remembering the blonde had wanted to talk to Beca.

"Yeah" Beca said Kimmy Jin was confused to the short answers the brunette was giving, but chose not to pry.

Beca was glad that sh didn't pry further she didn't want to talk about it anymore she was just tired, she had about two and a half hours till her class she knew Kimmy Jin didn't have any until one so asked her if she could wake her in time for her class to which Kimmy Jin nodded.

The little nap Beca had only seemed to make her more tired, she was dozing off in her class finding it harder and harder to keep her eyes open until they finally shut. She was woken up by the shaking of someone it was her professor she quickly sat up her back clicking as she did.

"Class is over Mitchel" Her professor said to which she just left quickly and walked down the corridor.

Beca felt embarrassed for falling asleep she was surprised he hadn't yelled at her she was going to meet her dad outside his classroom to go grab some lunch unaware of the blonde she was hoping not to bump into was approaching.

Aubrey was walking down the corridor when she spotted the small brunette waiting outside a classroom she didn't quite know what to do or say her eyes caught Beca's and she saw her visibly tense.

"Hi Beca" Aubrey said guilt laced her voice.

Beca just stared at her wanting her dad to hurry up with his class.

"I know you hate me and don't want to see me and won't forgive me but i am sorry i a really really am, i...i would like you to join the Bella's again they miss you they are still pretty riled up about what happened, they also found out i hit you and were even more mad but i don't blame them" Aubrey said staring into the brunettes light blue eyes they held no emotion.

"I...i don't hate you and they don't miss me why are they even mad at you they didn't fight against you at what you did, they didn't come after me or call me to see if i was okay and wanted to meet with them how can i believe they were mad when they found out you hit me they were probably glad you did i fuck everything up, they probably thought i deserved it" Beca said voice void of emotion before continuing. "And thanks but no thanks" Beca finished.

Aubrey was speechless stunned at what Beca had said, she could faintly see a bruise on her cheek from where she had hit her.

"Hi Becs sorry, i know its not enough but" Aubrey said, hoping the brunette would understand.

Beca just simply nodded not looking anyone in the eye, then Aubrey had an idea digging in her bag until she found it.

"Beca if you don't want back in then take this you don't have to do anything but just take this" Aubrey said handing Beca the pitch pipe.

Beca held the pitch pipe in her hands shaking her head and handing it back.

"No no no...they hate me why'd they want me back in let alone be their captain" Beca said trying to get the blonde to take it back.

"They don't hate you Beca they freaking love you they bitched at me when i kicked you out and when they found out i hit you...i don't think they knew how they hurt you by not contacting you" Aubrey said softly taking back the pitch pipe.

"I don't know you're telling the truth, you could just want me to think tha..." Beca said before she was cut off by a frustrated blonde.

"Beca look they love you and i am not lying come by Bella's rehearsal tomorrow its at three tomorrow, you'll see that they love you and keep the pitch pipe" Aubrey said before walking away.

Beca held the pitch pipe in her hands and watched as the blonde walked away, she didn't want to go to the Bella's rehearsal she knew Aubrey was lying but then why would she her the pitch pipe Beca was broken out of her thoughts by someone clearing their throat.

"Hi dad" Beca said awkwardly.

"Hi, you okay, whats that" Sebastian asked seeing an item in her hand, as they made there way to a small cafe, on campus.

"Um a pitch pipe Aubrey came by well we were just in the same place same time, she said sorry she thought i hated her i don't but she lied like Chloe she said that the others miss me and they bitched at her both times she hurt me she gave me this" Beca said gesturing to the pitch pipe in her hands, she asked me to go to rehearsals tomorrow to show that they do love me but it's only to hurt me more i now she is lying" Beca said her dad nodding, opening the door gesturing for Beca to walk in.

They sat down at a booth both ordering a coffee and Beca getting a sandwich.

"Well i you won't know until you go will you" Sebastian said, hoping this would convince her to go.

"But i don't wanna get hurt again" Beca said sadly, looking down as the waiter came with their coffees and her sandwich.

"Look Beca seeing that Aubrey gave you the pitch pipe means something telling you to come by rehearsals tomorrow shows she isn't lying" Sebastian said, sipping his coffee he watched his daughter seeing cogs turn in her head j _ust like her mother_ he thought.

"Okay i'll go but if i get hurt..." Beca said before she was cut off mid sentence.

"You won't get hurt Beca" Sebastian said, as they sat in a comfterble silence.

Sebastian went to pay the bill and they walked out of the cafe, Sebastian had more classes to go to so he bid Beca goodbye. Beca wondered round campus not sure on what to do, she didn't want to go back to her dorm and she had no assignments due in she found a near by bench and sat down getting lost in her thoughts.

"Hey, Beca" Jesse said sitting down beside the brunette bringing her out of her thoughts.

"Hey" Beca said starting to feel awkward.

"We still good right" Jesse asked hoping they were, he had missed the brunette she was fun to be around.

"Yeah, um do you...it it okay.." Beca stammered.

"What Becs" Jesse asked leaning back into the bench.

"Can we watch a movie" Beca rushed out surprising herself at what she had said.

"You Beca Hope Mitchel wants to watch a movie" Jesse asked in shock not sure whether the girl was playing or not.

"Uh..yeah is that okay" Beca said hoping that it was she had missed watching movies with Jesse and his silly commentary.

"Of course anything in particular" he asked happy she wanted to watch a movie he didn't care if it was one he wouldn't recommend to someone, anyone on the entire earth.

"Breakfast Club okay" Beca asked sheepishly.

"Yes mi lady" Jesse said standing up and leading the way to his dorm, Beca following in suit.

* * *

 **so chapter 10 hope its good would like to know if you're still enjoying it . thanks :)**


	11. Chapter 11

Beca fell asleep withing the first twenty minutes of the movie and Jesse couldn't help but stare at her while she slept, he knew he shouldn't but he thought she looked adorable sleeping if he told her this she'd probably thump him.

The movie had finished Jesse silently speaking the last few lines 'sincerely yours, the breakfast club' looking down to see Beca was still asleep Jesse smiled at the sight she looked so cute sleeping, he carefully moved off his bed placing his laptop on his desk not wanting to wake her Jesse carefully took of her shoes and placed them to the side of the bed pulling the covers over her, leaning down to kiss her forehead he noticed her cheek was bruised and swollen sighing sadly he went to sit at his desk nodding of after five minutes.

He was woken by a mumbling noise opening his eyes he saw that Benji hadn't returned yet guessing he was showing off some magic tricks he looked over to his bed seeing that the noise was coming from her, he walked closer he could hear what she was saying.

"Mommy you...tried...doctor" Beca mumbled fidgeting slightly, whimpering a little.

Jesse didn't want to wake her up but he felt he had to the brunette didn't look comfterble with the dream she was in, shaking her gently Jesse tried to wake Beca who stilled her movement before bolting up breathing in deeply.

"Beca you okay" Jesse asked, she was taking deep breathes her dream wasn't that bad was it.

"Um..." Beca started. "Just a bad dream" She said after awhile.

"Come here" Jesse said sitting next to her pulling her into a hug. "Want to talk about it" He asked softly.

Beca shook her head no, before bursting into tears, she had dreamed about the day she had found her mother on the floor again getting told she had passed, feeling alone and lost.

Jesse hugged her close as she cried, not wanting to upset her more by prying on the situation.

"Shhh shhh its okay, you don't have to." Jesse said trying to calm her down.

Eventually Beca calmed down and Jesse was just holding her mumbling soothing words.

"Whats the time" Beca asked remembering she had a class at three.

"Uh...half four" Jesse said looking at his side clock, then seeing the expression on Becas face he started to worry. "Beca whats wrong".

"I had a class at three no point going now it will be over soon, but.." Beca said knowing that her professor would be annoyed but her dad could deal with him.

"Hey its okay...you needed sleep you looked so tired earlier" Jesse stated, remembering how exhausted Beca had looked.

"Yeah i fell asleep in my first class" Beca said, Jesse laughed a bit and Beca smiled at him he's such a goofball her she thought.

"You wanna go grab something to eat" Jesse asked, wanting to hang out more with the brunette.

"Yeah sure let me just tell my dad so he knows that i'm out and all" Beca said awkwardly.

"Hey dad i'm gonna go get something to eat with Jesse, i uh fell asleep again and missed my class" Beca said feeling only slightly bad.

"Okay that's fine, and don't worry about missing your class you looked pretty tired earlier, can we meet up later before your shift is six o'clock good" Sebastain said.

"Yeah sure, i'll meet you outside your office" Beca said.

"Okay, see you later love you bye" Sebastian said.

"Yeah okay...i love you bye" Beca said as she hung up her phone.

"Lets go" Beca said following Jesse out the door.

"You what" Chloe asked, not believing what Aubrey said.

"I gave her the pitch pipe told her to come by rehearsals tomorrow which you have to make sure the others come don't tell them why but, Beca doesn't believe that they love her" Aubrey said, still feeling upset that the brunette felt like this.

"Okay...okay gonna be hard convincing them but anyway why'd you give Beca the pitch pipe" Chloe said, she was glad Aubrey had apologized slightly annoyed she had told her Beca didn't want to see her even though that was sheer coincidence, but she didn't get the giving her the pitch pipe.

"To show i was sorry i am not a good captain Beca will make a better one" Aubrey said simply. "And if she kicks me out so be it".

"Does she know this means she's captain" Chloe asked not sure whether or not the brunette got what Aubrey was trying to do.

"I don't know but i'll just clarify tomorrow" Aubrey said.

"Okay" Chloe said skeptically still confused.

Jesse and Beca decided to go get a pizza to eat, they sat down in a booth ordering a drink as they waited for a menu.

"Sooo Becaa.." Jesse said in a goofy voice, he wouldn't deny he had feelings towards the brunette, but he knew she was probably not ready to be in a relationship so he decided to keep it mutual for now.

"Whaat Jesse.." Beca said smiling at Jesse's antics, she wouldn't deny her feelings towards him she would never admit it though she had a crush on him but she didn't feel ready for a relationship and didn't want to lead him on.

Soon a waiter came with their drinks and a menu, looking over the menu they both decided to get a big cheesy pizza to share, whilst waiting for their food to come Jesse tried to start up conversation.

"So, Beca want to play a game" Jesse asked, not one hundred percent sure why he asked.

"Um okay, but what game can you play in a restaurant" Beca asked, confused as to why Jesse suggested they play a game.

"Okay this is kinda cliche but i feel we need to know a little more about each other 21 questions" Jesse asked, cocking his right eyebrow.

Beca stared at him for a minute before nodding and waiting for the first question.

"Favorite color" Jesse asked.

"Purple, what about you" Beca asked not able to think up a question of her own.

"Green, favorite song" Jesse asked.

"Titanium" Beca said remembering that was hers and her moms special song. "Um favorite movie" Beca asked wondering if he even had one.

"Why such a difficult question Becs" Jesse said as their food was brought to their table grabbing a pizza slice he said "I can't choose, you know i have to many"

"Okay then 'one' of your favorites then" Beca asked emphasizing the word one.

"Probably, Rocky" Jesse said unsure.

"Okay, next question" Beca asked accepting his 'unsure' answer, she found she was quite enjoying herself grabbing herself a slice taking a bite before Jesse asked her the next question.

"How'd you get good at mixing" He asked, he had heard some of her mixes before some even had been played at the station.

"Well i always like music and when i was thirteen my mom..." Beca said taking a breathe at remembering her mom. "My mom brought me some decks i loved them and worked on so many mixes she helped as well and always supported me, my dad thinks its a hobby but mom never did" Beca said looking down feeling a little sad.

"Sorry sore subject" Jesse asked seeing her change in demeanor.

Beca shook her head. "No no that isn't it's just...my mom died four years ago and sometimes remembering her hurts a little" Beca said looking up to Jesse's eyes.

"I'm so sorry Beca" Jesse said putting his hand over hers and stroking it with his thumb.

"It's okay" Beca said taking her hand out of Jesse's to have a sip of her drink.

Jesse smiled slightly before Beca asked him a question.

"Um do...do..you have a..um girlfriend" Beca asked, wanting to just be well nosy.

"No, do you" Jesse asked quickly adding. "I mean have a boyfriend...or girlfriend cos yeah" Jesse said shutting himself up before he said anything else stupid.

Beca laughed as Jesse stumbled over his words. "No, and no i'm straight" Beca said inwardly smiling at the fact he didn't have a girlfriend, but wondering if he had a crush on anyone.

"Do you..have a crush on..anyone" Beca asked, looking down before taking a bite of her third slice.

"Yeah i do" Jesse said smiling.

"Who...like do i know them i could tell them" Beca asked, its not me why would he love me Beca thought to herself.

Jesse just shrugged grabbing his fifth slice of pizza. "Do you have a..crush on anyone" Jesse asked repeating her question.

"Uh yeah" Beca said nodding taking a gulp of her drink as Jesse put his down.

"Do i know them" Jesse asked, he hoped it was him but he thought that she probably saw him as a good friend.

Beca shrugged as Jesse had done looking away, feeling full she sat back.

"You alright" Jesse asked as Beca sat back in her seat, not bothering with another question even though its her turn he said to himself.

"Yeah yeah just full" Beca said having a drink.

"Okay" Jesse said finishing his sixth slice deciding to take the rest home with him. "Uh can i please get two doggy bags" Jesse asked the waiter as he walked by, wanting Beca to have some for later if she got hungry.

"Thanks" Beca said smiling at the fact Jesse wasn't taking the rest for himself.

"No probs" Jesse said muttering a thanks to the waiter as he returned with two boxes for them.

Paying the bill against Becas request they walked out of the pizza place.

"So what do you wanna do now" Jesse asked.

"I have to go meet my dad outside his office at six you can come" Beca said taking the doggy bag Jesse handed to her.

"Okay lead the way" Jesse said having no clue where Mr Mitchel's office was.

When they arrived outside his office Beca knocked on the door.

"Come in" Sebastian said, standing up from behind his desk and walking round it to give his daughter a hug.

"Hey dad" Beca said hugging him back before stepping away.

"Mr Mitchel" Jesse said shaking his hand.

"Jesse right" Sebastian asked remembering Beca pointing him out at one point.

"Yes sir" Jesse said stepping back letting go of Mr Mitchel's hand.

"Please call me Sebastian" Sebastian said.

"Um i had pizza and Jesse got me a doggy bag" Beca said, knowing her dad probably wanted to know if she had eaten.

"Good and thanks Jesse will you be sleeping here tonight or back at home" Sebastian asked glad that she had eaten, and please with Jesse for giving her a doggy bag.

"Here i'm gonna go to the Bella's rehearsal i mean i can't get hurt more can i" Beca said, not believing her last statement.

"Okay just call me if you need anything" Sebastian said looking his daughter in the eye.

"Yes dad love you" Beca said hugging him once more.

"Love you to Becs" Sebastian said hugging her back. "Jesse here's my number incase anything happens" Sebastian said writing it down and handing the piece of paper to Jesse.

"Thanks i will bye Sebastian" Jesse said as he and Beca walked out of his office towards the station.

The shift ended quickly and soon Jesse found himself walking Beca up to her dorm.

"Sooo..." Jesse started not sure on what to say he wanted to kiss her but he couldn't he didn't know how that would effect her.

"Thanks for the pizza and this" Beca said holding up her doggy bag.

"No problem um" Jesse said feeling rather awkward.

"I guess its goodnight and see you tomorrow" Beca said, she did want to kiss him but they were friends he had a crush which was most likely not her and she didn't want to ruing their friend ship.

"Yeah i guess it is...goodnight Becs and yeah see you tomorrow" Jesse said waiting till Beca shut the door to her dorm.

"You got it bad for her Swanson" Jesse thought to himself walking down the corridor to his dorm.

Beca walked over to her wardrobe to get changed to tired to shower, getting under the covers staring up at the ceiling before closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep.

* * *

 **could this be jeca i don't know possibly...let me know how its going as i would like to know from your pov cos its different.**


	12. Chapter 12

Beca woke from a surprisingly good nights sleep, stretching before she got out of bed grabbing her wash bag and towel and headed to the showers. Returning fifteen minutes later changing in to her black skinny jeans and a long sleeved black and purple stripy top. Beca sat back down on her bed glancing at the clock she saw she had two hours till her first class debating whether or not to see if Jesse was free to get breakfast, deciding she would Beca sent him a quick message.

 **Hey, free to get some**

 **breakfast with me.**

Beca hadn't been waiting long until Jesse replied.

 **Hey, yeah sure where do**

 **you wanna go.**

Beca read the message thinking of a good place to go, making her mind up Beca replied.

 **Is the IHOP outside**

 **campus okay.**

Beca started putting on her boots when Jesse replied.

 **Yeah sure thing i'll**

 **meet you there.**

Beca smiled softly before finishing with her boots grabbing her jacket and heading out of the door. When Beca got there Jesse was waiting outside, she walked up to him and gave him a hug which he returned.

"So what you getting" Beca asked, trying to make up her own mind as they sat down at a table and ordered herself an Jesse a coffee.

"Mmm, not to sure i feel like pancakes with something sweet" Jesse said studying the menu. "What about you"

"Mmm pancakes with bacon, butter and maple syrup" Beca said her stomach growling with hunger. A waiter came by and gave them their drinks.

"Oooh good choice think i'm gonna have pancakes with maple syrup and blueberries, and strawberries" Jesse said looking forward to his meal.

While they waited for their food, they sat in silence taking a sip of their coffee every now and then.

"So what you got planned for today then" Jesse asked, pouring syrup over his pancakes.

"Well...i have a class in over an hour then i will probably have to work on an assignment...then i got to go see you...know the Bella's" Beca said pouring syrup over her pancakes.

"Wait what, you gonna crash it or something" Jesse asked, she had been kicked out and he really didn't see her going in and crashing it Jesse thought as he took a bite of his pancake enjoying the sweet taste it gave him.

"No" Beca laughed a little before continuing. "Aubrey bumped into me yesterday gave me the pitch pipe no idea why i tried to give it back she wouldn't take it and..., she said to come by so might as well...see if Aubrey is telling the truth i don't believe her she said they loved me and...they didn't know they hurt me but...it's hard to believe" Beca said looking down and taking a bite of her pancake relishing in the taste that the bacon gave her. "She thought i hated her...i don't hate her" Beca said.

"I bet she is...the Bella's love you" Jesse said, assuring her surprised that Beca didn't hate Aubrey.

Beca just sighed she didn't believe him why would they love her, she ruined well nearly ruined their chances to go to the ICCA's you don't deserve to be loved a voice said in her head.

"I..i hope she is" Beca said.

They sat in silence until they had finished eating both unsure of what to say, Beca paid the bill this time as Jesse had paid yesterday.

"Well i'll catch you later, got head to class" Beca said, as they exited IHOP.

"Okay, yeah sure see ya later" Jesse said as the brunette walked away to her dorm.

Entering her dorm Beca quickly got the books she needed saying a quick hello to Kimmy Jin who had a friend over, before leaving her dorm and walking to her class.

* * *

Aubrey couldn't focus she was studying for an upcoming test, but she couldn't stop thinking about the Bella's rehearsal later that day thankfully Chloe had managed to convince the others to go, hopefully Beca would make an appearance.

"Uh i can't do this" Aubrey said to herself, while getting up and exiting her dorm.

Walking around campus, watching various people do different things she saw the high notes lounging around she wondered if they ever actually sung anything. Continuing her walk Aubrey spotted Jesse sitting under a tree on his laptop, watching another movie.

"Hey" Aubrey said, gently tapping him on the shoulder.

"Hey" Jesse replied, taking his headphones off and pausing the move he hadn't spoken much to the blonde besides from sticking up for Beca even though that annoyed the small girl.

"So have you seen Beca" Aubrey asked, knowing that Jesse had seen what had happened at the station.

"Uh yeah, yeah why you asking" Jesse said trying not to be rude.

"Just wondering, is she um okay" Aubrey said sitting down beside Jesse.

"Yeah she's doing okay" Jesse said, why does she want to know Jesse thought.

"Okay good, i don't know if she's told you but i gave Beca the pitch pipe it was the only way i could think of to show i was sorry" Aubrey said looking into Jesse's eyes so he knew she was telling the truth.

Seeing the truth in her eyes Jesse sighed, he was glad she was sorry and was trying to make an effort in her apology.

"Well you're making an effort and that's good and she doesn't hate you which probably means she's forgiven you a bit" Jesse said.

"She said she doesn't hate me...but i'd hate me after what i did to her" Aubrey said looking down, she didn't understand how the brunette didn't hate her.

"Hate is a strong word and i don't believe Beca could hate anyone to be honest" Jesse said, Aubrey nodded and smiled slightly before saying she had to go and do some more studying.

* * *

Beca walked out of her classroom glad it was over, it had been so boring her professor kept rambling on about this famous philosophical question and what he thought the answer was he was also adamant it was the right answer as well. Beca walked up to her dorm room to swap out some of her books and to grab the pizza Jesse had given her.

Eating it on her way to class Beca bumped into Chloe.

"Hey Beca how's you" Chloe asked as her usual bubbly self.

"I'm okay you" Beca asked, not exactly happy to see the ginger she was meant to be one of her best friends but she hadn't contacted her since she came by her dads place looking for her she knew she had not called the red head either but still.

"Yeah i'm good so many assignments due in" Chloe said, she had five assignments due in for next week, she wasn't planning on doing good in her Russian Lit but her pre-med work she would make an effort on.

"Well i got to go see you" Beca said walking away before Chloe could reply.

Chloe was confused as to why the brunette left in a hurry but hoped to see her later at the Bella's rehearsal sighing she waled to her next class.

The day had rolled by rather smoothly and before Beca knew it, it was time for the Bella's rehearsal. Beca was starting to get nervous did she really want to go to get hurt again have her feelings kicked more than they were when she was just starting to feel a little better, lost deep in her thoughts Beca wasn't paying attention to were she was going and bumped into someone.

"Sorry sorry" Beca said muttering out her apologies.

"It's okay don't worry no harm done" The person said with a thick German accent.

"Okay, um hi" Beca said looking up to see a tall blonde women, wow Beca thought this women is physically flawless.

"Hi, my name is Komissar" Komissar said, feeling she had to introduce herself.

"Um Beca you new here" Beca asked, noting her accent.

"I'm a transfer student from Eifel" Komissar said, she had transferred to Barden two weeks ago wanting to live in Atlanta in the future.

"Cool, well not to be rude but i..i got to go" Beca said, not wanting to be late for the rehearsal.

"Okay well maybe see you around then" Komissar said waving Beca goodbye, Beca did the same before walking of towards the auditorium.

"Thanks for coming everyone i know you didn't want to but we do have a competition coming up" Aubrey said trying to ignore the glares she got from the Bella's. "Right so today we will start with..." Aubrey stopped talking when the door opened and Beca walked in.

"Hi, im uh...so..sorry i'm late" Beca said nervous, the others turned to look at her and smiled.

"Beca hey how you doing you okay" Stacie asked hugging Beca tightly.

"What up Shaw-shank" Amy asked.

Everyone was talking all at once Beca was finding it a but overwhelming and was glad when Aubrey spoke.

"Alright girls let her breathe" Aubrey said, the others just glared at her but sat back down to give Beca some space.

"Um why did you want me to come" Beca asked, feeling a little out of place.

"Beca, i'm letting you back in and...you know i gave you the pitch pipe" Beca nodded taking it out of her pocket. "You're the new captain you can do whatever you want kick me out, change the set anything" Aubrey said sitting down.

"What" Jess asked what everyone else was thinking.

"I can't i...i'm sorry" Beca said handing the pitch pipe to the blonde who reluctantly took it.

"Okay then um" Aubrey said at a loss for words.

"Beca..." Chlo started getting cut off by Beca.

"Why did none of you stand up for me" Beca asked innocently she wanted to know why they didn't like her. "and why didn't you call or go after me".

"Wha...we um sorry" CR said feeling bad when she realized they had a part in why Beca was upset.

"Don't you love me" Beca asked, seeing the hurt expressions on their faces looking down as Chloe started to speak.

"Of course we love you" Chloe said walking towards the brunette giving her a hug which Beca didn't return.

"But then why didn't you fight for me...you obviously don't love me if you didn't fight for me none of...you called me...i know i don't deserve anyone's love after what i did but.." Beca was cut off by the Bella's.

"Don't say that we love you we were bitching at Aubrey after you left i guess we could've come after you i was hoping she would change her mind on her own she did..but you know" Stacie said, feeling bad that she wasn't a good enough friend towards the brunette.

"I don't believe you..how do i know that it's the truth" Beca said getting upset.

"Because it is we love you Beca" Aubrey said, the others nodding in agreement.

Beca shook her head not believing them, she didn't deserve to be loved she thought they are only saying that so you will just rejoin them for ICCA's then they will just leave you alone..again. Running out of the room Beca found a bench to sit on and started to cry.

Seeing the small girl from earlier Komissar walked towards her, noticing when she got closer she was crying.

"Hey, whats up" Komissar said in her thick German accent.

"They say they love me bu...but they are lying i don't deserve anyone's love" Beca said wiping her eyes.

"Of course you do Beca everyone does and i can see why people would love you, you're kind, polite and seem fiesty normally people would continue walking and not mutter an apology if they bumped into me you did" Komissar said pulling the girl into her arms as she sat down Beca relaxed into her arms feeling safe in them.

"I don't believe you i cost them..a place at the ICCA's and...and luckily someone spotted that a team had a high schooler and we got a place...but i messed it up like i always do and then i got kicked out of the group and noone fought for me or called me" Beca said tears falling down her cheeks.

"We're sorry Beca" CR said as she walked up to the brunette and sat down next to her other side.

"But you still don't love me none of you do" Beca said she had stopped crying now but a few tears still rolled down her cheek.

"Yeah we do we never stopped loving you" Ashley said joining them soon all the Bella's had come out to see Beca.

"I don't deserve anyone's love though" Beca said sadly.

"Yes you do, you deserve to be loved, cared for and admired let them do that let them love you" Komissar said and soon Beca was engulfed in a group hug she started crying again but these were happy tears, she realized they did love her and she did deserve to be loved.

They stayed there for a while and chatted and getting to know more about each other, Amy was really called Patrica well Fat Amy/Patrica, CR had a gambling problem they also all got antiquated to Komissar who said she would audition next year for the Bella's, Aubrey finally convincing Beca to be captain with the help of the others Beca said she wouldn't kick Aubrey out to which everyone was okay with but mostly Aubrey, after half an hour of talking they decided to call it a day Beca called her dad to see if he was free to meet up he said he was and to meet him outside the cafe that they had lunch at the other day.

"So you doing okay" Sebastian asked, he thought Beca looked a lot better her cheek was not swollen anymore and only had a faint bruise.

"I'm good thanks i'm back in the Bella's and Aubrey made me captain" Beca said happily.

"That's awesome Beca so you are going to the ICCA's then after all" Sebastian said glad his daughter was happy and back in the Bella's.

"Yep i guess i am" Beca said smiling.

* * *

 **yeeey they made up...well reviews welcome always hope you liked the chapter. fun fact i was born in Germany in Eifel i think...not sure i have been told but forgot slap on the four-head.**


	13. Chapter 13

**i lied...i was born in Trier not Eifel..when i search it, it comes up with did you mean Eiffel...no or i would of typed it its strange cos it comes up with images of Eifel seems like a nice place anyways enjoy the chapter**

* * *

Beca walked to the station for her shift, she was excited to tell Jesse the news.

"Hey Jesse" Beca called excitedly, seeing Jesse carrying a box of Cd's downstairs.

"Hey Becs whats up" Jesse asked, seeing the brunette so happy made him smile.

"I'm back in the Bella's and i'm captain...and they do love me" Beca said, her eyes sparkling with joy.

"That's great news" Jesse said happy for the brunette, Beca couldn't contain the squil that left her as Jesse lifted her up and spun her round.

"Jesse...put me down" Beca said playfully, Jesse placed Beca back on her feet looking into her eyes and brushing a strand of her behind her ear before taking a breathe and placing a kiss on her lips.

Beca was shocked when Jesse kissed her but found herself kissing him back a hand coming up to his cheek and softly stroking it, pulling away Jesse smiled down at the brunette.

"Sorry...should of asked" He said, wow he thought that was amazing.

"It's okay" Beca said looking into his eyes, he kissed me am i his crush she asked herself.

"Yes you are.." Jesse said placing a kiss on her forehead.

"I said that out loud" Beca said, seeing Jesse nod. "Well you're my crush to" Beca said leaning in to kiss him.

Jesse placed his hands on her hips as he kissed her back enjoying the feel of her soft lips, swiping his tongue across her lip Beca gladly opened her mouth moaning at the feel of his tongue against his. 'mmm he taste like apples' Beca thought as she linked her arms around his neck 'she taste like blueberries' Jesse thought. pulling away when oxygen was needed they leaned into each others embrace.

"Does this mean we're dating now" Beca asked hoping that it was.

"Yeah i guess it does" Jesse said smiling seeing the cutest smile on her face he leaned down to kiss her once more before pulling away.

"Well we better get this work done" Beca said smiling up at Jesse before walking away.

* * *

"Hey Aubs what you did was great...you did the right thing" Chloe said as they arrived at their dorm room.

"Yeah" Aubrey said smiling at Chloe's reassuring nod. "I wanted her to know i really was sorry, and not just saying it cos i had to".

"Well she knows that now and we are all going to the ICCA's together" Chloe said laying down on her bed.

"Yeah, i can't wait to see what Beca's got planned for the set" Aubrey said as she stifled a yawn.

"Yeah me neither, tired" Chloe asked seeing the blonde nod. "Lets get ready for bed no use studying when we're tired" Chloe said as she got off her bed to change, Aubrey did the same and they were soon under the covers of their beds.

"You know i don't even know why i hit her it just sort of happened" Aubrey said looking up at the ceiling.

"Well no need to worry about it now it's in the past, now get some rest" Chloe said as she got comfterble and closed her eyes, Aubrey stayed staring at the ceiling her eyes drooping shut as she fell asleep.

* * *

When their shift was over Jesse walked Beca back to her dorm.

"Well now that we are dating can i take you out on a date" Jesse asked, giving her his goofy grin.

"I don't know maybe...of course i would love that" Beca said grinning wildly.

"Brilliant well i was thinking next Saturday is that good" Jesse asked already thinking of where to take her.

"Yeah sure" Beca said looking forward to her date with Jesse, she couldn't believe they were dating she couldn't be happier.

"Great...well i best let you get some rest" Jesse said, Beca nodded and leaned up and kissed Jesse slipping her tongue into his mouth moaning at the feel of their tongues touching pulling away when breathing became apparent.

"Well goodnight...love you" Jesse said stroking Beca's cheek.

"Love you to" Beca said standing there for a moment before opening the door. "Goodnight" She said as she shut the door leaning against it and smiling.

"Someones happy" Kimmy Jin said, glad that her roommate was smiling now.

"Yeah the drama is sorted out...and i'm back in the Bella's" Beca said leaving out the part about Jesse, not that she was ashamed of it.

"Wait what..back in" Kimmy Jin asked confused.

"Oh right yeah i was kicked out...i messed up the routine but i'm forgiven and i got let back in and made captain" Beca said not going into full detail.

"That's great Beca" Kimmy Jin said smiling, so that's why she was so sad Kimmy Jin thought.

Beca grabbed her wash bag before heading to the showers, as she waited for the water to warm she began singing.

'I'm bullet proof nothing to loose

fire away fire away ricochet

go take your aim fire away fire away'

Beca smiled remembering at the start of the year singing this and getting interrupted by a red headed girl stating she had to audition for the Bella's having seen her earlier and denying she sung. She was glad she auditioned she had a bunch of great friends and to top it off she had Jesse.

Once Beca was done she walked to her dorm and changed onto a baggy long sleeved shirt and sweats and starting to work on the set piece for the ICCA's. It was nearing eleven and Beca started to yawn deciding to call it a night she saved what she had worked on so far placing her laptop on her desk, she sank further into her covers a smile gracing her lips as she fell asleep.

Beca woke feeling refreshed and decided to call her dad to go and get breakfast, grabbing something on her way out. They met at their usual spot and ordered coffee and something to eat.

"So Beca how you doing" Sebastian asked as they were waiting for their food.

"I'm really good thanks I've started work on the set for the ICCA's, how's you" Beca asked as a waiter brought them their drinks saying their food will be out soon.

"I'm good thanks, glad to see you smiling" Sebastian said, he was worried when Beca was sat in his kitchen crying she had always felt more than most people but her hadn't seen her like that since her mom died.

"Yeah oh, how is the step monster" Beca said smiling.

"She is doing okay thanks, she said she can't wait to see you perform at the ICCA's and don't worry i didn't tell her about you know..." Sebastian said thanking the waiter as their food was brought to them. "And i'm glad to see you eating again got your appetite back" Sebastian said taking a bite of his bacon cheese and egg sandwich.

"Yeah so am i" Beca said also taking a bite of her sandwich she had ordered the same as her dad. "Um..me and Jesse are...dating" Beca said, hoping that he was okay with this.

"Good for you Beca" He said to her surprise. "I could see he really liked you, and i could tell that you liked him..call it a dads intuition" He said, smiling at the blushing brunette.

"Thanks...i didn't feel ready and i didn't feel like i could trust anyone so...i'm glad i waited he's taking me on a date next Saturday" Beca said, smiling she couldn't wait to see what Jesse had planned.

"Well i'm gonna have to have the dad boyfriend talk" Sebastian said smiling at his daughters eye roll.

"Don't embarrasses me...please" Beca said, silently hoping her dad wouldn't.

"But it's my job" Sebastian said taking a sip of his coffee.

Beca just sighed and looked out the window before taking a sip of her coffee and turning back to her dad.

"Dad i...um have..something for you" Beca said digging through her bag to find it.

"What is it" Sebastian said curiously.

"This um here" Beca said handing her dad a black box the black box that contained her escape for relief, that she had used many times before and tried to stop unsuccessfully but this time she would to it. "I don't nee...wait i don't want it anymore" Beca said looking into his eyes.

Having an idea of what was in the box he opened it to see his suspicions confirmed closing the box and putting it away in his bag to throw away later he walked over to his daughter and gave her a hug.

"Well done sweetie...that was big of you i love you, you know that" Sebastian said kissing the top of her head.

"Yeah i do and i love you to" Beca said leaning into his embrace.

After a few minutes of cuddling they finished their meal talking about random things and laughing occasionally.

"Well I've got a class to head to" Sebastian said as they exited the cafe.

"Me too" Beca said as she gave her dad a hug and waved goodbye heading off to her class.

* * *

As soon as her class finished Beca rushed back to her dorm to work on her mix, she hoped to get it ready by rehearsals so they could work on it as soon as possible hearing a faint knock at her door she got up to answer it.

"Hey" Beca greeted as she saw Chloe standing there.

"Hey, i just wanted to see how you were doing" Chloe asked trying to make up for not being a good friend when Beca needed one most.

"Oh yeah come in" Beca said walking back to her desk, Chloe shut the door and walked over to her sitting on her bed.

"So this is what I've got so far" Beca said handing Chloe the headphones.

Beca looked at Chloe watching her reaction, she hoped she liked it she had worked on it so hard finding the perfect songs and fixing them in to show all the Bella's voices.

"Wow, this sounds amazing Beca they are gonna love it" Chloe said handing Beca the headphones.

"Thanks..i wanted to show everyone's voices you know like not just showcase one person cos everyone..is great.." Beca said getting engulfed in a hug. Beca hugged her back she had to admit she had missed Chloe's spoliation hugging.

"With this and some killer dance moves...we are gonna rock it at ICCA's" Chloe said giving Beca a slight push.

Beca smiled. "I sure hope so" She said.

"We will and even if we don't win...this is an amazing set and it will show everyone what us Bella's can really do" Chloe said.

Beca smiled and her and Chloe started talking catching up with one another.

"So how are your classes going" Beca asked.

"Not to bad, got a test coming up soon and like three assignments to hand" Chloe said, she had missed her talks with Beca she was an easy person to talk to and always listened. "Hey what about your classes they going okay".

"Yeah not to bad...i..i fell asleep in one of my classes surprisingly my professor didn't yell he just told me class was over" Beca said, she had told Chloe about the time her professor had yelled at her Chloe was rather mad but offered to help if she ever got stuck on assignments, as she had done philosophy but dropped it as she didn't find it very interesting but had completed a year.

"Wow must have been tired to fall asleep in that class" Chloe said sarcastically, Beca laughed it was a really boring class. "So he's been laying off you now".

"Yeah which is good he won't even yell at anyone in front of the class, it's either yell at the whole class or yell at said person when class is over...he doesn't yell at me after either cos he knows my dad will go ape shit on him if he found out" Beca said, it felt nice that her dad had her back he didn't when she was younger but that was okay...he was there when she needed him most but he was with her now forever.

Chloe stayed for another half hour before she had to leave to go meet with her study group, Beca listened to the set piece again making a few adjustments before she knew it it was time for the Bella's rehearsal packing her laptop away in its bag she made her way to the auditorium.

"Hey, Shaw shank" Amy said.

"Hey" Beca said walking over to the group. "I've...um i got the set here" Why was she nervous they were her friends and Chloe had liked it so the others were bound to like it to right. Beca started setting up her laptop.

"Cool let's have a listen to this" CR said rubbing her hands together she had a feeling this was gonna be awesome.

Beca pressed play and everyone was memorized by what they heard, seeing their faces in awe Beca felt happy they like it they really like it she thought as the set finished.

"Wow, i knew you had a good ear...but wow" Aubrey said, she knew that Beca knew enough about music to be good she didn't know she knew enough to be brilliant.

"You can DJ at any of my future parties man" Cr said, she knew it was gonna be awesome.

"It's better than what one of my boyfriends made who was playing at the Alicia Keys birthday party when she came to visit Tasmania" Amy said, everyone wasn't quite sure whether they believed her or not.

"Glad you like it" She said as a light blush graced her cheeks at everyone's comments.

"Well let's get started got some choreography ideas" Chloe said as everyone cleared their chairs away.

Practice was over before everyone knew it, and Beca had told them to just practice so the'd be ready for the ICCA's. Everyone decided to go and get some pizza and headed to Beca's dorm as Kimmy Jin would be out for about three hours or so as she was at her Korean club or whatever Beca couldn't quite remember what she said. Amy also brought some beers. Not the best idea but noone really cared.

"Dude we are gonna thrash em all" Jess said as she took a bite of pepperoni pizza.

"Yeah" Beca said as she took a big bite of pizza.

"Wo, damn girl where you put it all" CR said, surprised that Beca had taken such a huge bite for a small person.

"I'm starving" Beca said, she was hungry they days when she didn't eat catching up pizza was the best way to solve this as she grabbed her second piece.

"Who wants to play spin the bottle" Amy said grabbing an empty bottle of beer she had.

"Wait what" Chloe said taking a swig of her beer.

"Spin the bottle well, like truth or dare cos yeah" Amy said, everyone agreed some fun wouldn't hurt so they all arranged themselves in a circle.

"Right then" Amy said spinning the bottle it landed on CR.

"Truth or dare" Amy said.

"Dare" CR said, some fun to start off the game.

"Mmmm" Amy said raising one eyebrow. "Go out to the hall knock and run".

"Okay, sure" CR said, going out into the hall and knocking on a door and quickly coming back in.

"What door you knock on" Beca asked, wondering which one of her college neighbors it was.

"The one to the left" Cr said, sitting back down.

"Oh gee it's that annoying conspiracy dude...he's probably gonna think it was an alien who teleported here from NASA or something" Beca said, everyone laughed.

"Okay my go" CR said spinning the bottle it landed on Stacie. "Truth or dare".

"Truth of course" Stacie said.

"Mmm" CR said thinking of a question. "What don't we know about you"

"Well, i have a lot of sex and they were not all one night stands more like two month boyfriends cos they got all future on me and talked about marriage" Stacie said.

"I see" Amy said nodding her head.

Stacie spinned the bottle and it landed on Beca "Truth or dare Becs" Stacie said.

"Uh truth" Beca said, finally a truth Aubrey thought.

"Have you ever had sex" Stacie asked.

"Stacie" Amy said to which she just looked at her. "What".

"Bit of a private question" Chloe said a little werided out.

"Its okay...um...i..." Beca stuttered.

"Come on answer the question" Stacie said impatiently.

"Urggh...no" Beca said blushing a little, Jesse was her first boyfriend she had made herself invisible to most people during her life and even more so after her mom died and was now just starting to make herself be seen.

"Really you haven't ha..." Stacie was saying getting cut of by Beca.

"Truth or dare" Beca said, having spun the bottle and it landing on Chloe.

"Truth" Chloe said, thinking she was playing safe.

"What is your most and i mean your most embarrassing moment" Beca said, laughing at the red head as she gave her a look.

"I...well it was um...why Becs" Chlo said stuttering.

"Come on just answer the question" Beca said.

"Okay fine, well when i was younger i um well...i went on a date and...i was so nervous i kinda threw up on him" Chloe said hiding her face in her hands to hide her growing blush.

"How old were you exactly" Ashley asked.

"Uh dose it matter" Chloe said, why did she really have tell them.

"Yes" They all said at once.

"I was seventeen" Chloe said blushing, not bothering to hide her face.

"Awe Chlo" Aubrey said giving her friend a hug.

"Okay now that's enough my turn" Chloe said spinning the bottle it landed on Aubrey. "Truth or dare"

"I think i'll go for a dare" Aubrey said surprising everyone.

"Wait really" Beca asked, Aubrey a dare wow she thought.

"Yeah" Aubrey said.

"Mmmm let me think" Chloe said stroking her chin. "Got it, i dare you to go outside yell i am Aubrey you will see my tiger eyes" Chloe said everyone burst into laughter.

Aubrey gave her a weird look guessing she was drunk, but she went outside and did it anyway.

"I AM AUBREY YOU WILL SEE MY TIGER EYES" Aubrey yelled, she quickly reentered the dorm and sat down.

As soon a s Aubrey sat down Beca got up to answer it wobbling slightly.

"What oh hiii, guys its Jim Bobby" Beca said laughing.

"It's Niall and you're drunk keep it down please" He said as he walked away.

"Bye Neil" Beca yelled as he walked to his dorm.

"Its Niall" He said as he slammed his door.

They played for another hour until they decided to call it a night, Aubrey, Chloe and Stacie had stayed behind to help clear up.

"Awe thanks guys, i woves you so much" Said a drunk Beca.

"It's okay and we wove you to" Chloe said pinching Becas nose, she scrunched her face up as Chloe did this and batted her hand away playfully.

"Nwoo, you know me and Jesse are dating" Beca said, as she flopped down to pick up a pizza box.

"Are you now, when did this happen" Aubrey asked, she knew that they liked each other but her stupid rule got in the way.

"Ummm, when yesterday he kissed me at the station he's a good kisser" Beca said, she had never kissed anyone before in her life so this was based on first hand experience.

"How many guys have you kissed" Stacie asked. "Or girls" She added.

"Uhhh none first kiss" Beca said picking up an empty beer bottle.

"Awe that's so sweet" Chloe said as she picked up the last beer bottle putting in the bag.

"Well now that's done, you miss need to get to bed" Aubrey said, to which the the brunette huffed.

"But i'm a big girl and i don't wanna go to bed i'm not tired lets get more food" Beca said, yeah she's definitely drunk the others thought.

"Come here" Chloe said going over to the small girl and more or less pushing her over to her bed.

"Stacie help me they make me go bed pleease" Beca said, its not bed time yet she thought.

"I'm with them Becs sorry" Stacie said laughing as Aubrey got kicked in the stomach buy Beca.

"Traitor" Beca yelled at Stacie, to which she just laughed.

"There now stay and go to sleep okay practice tomorrow" Aubrey said to Beca, gee its like talking to a kid she thought.

"Yeah and you'll need all your energy for that" Chloe said as she put took of her shoes and jacket and laid her back down.

"And you don't want to be tired when you see Jesse now do you" Stacie said putting the sheets over her, they had been kicked onto the floor in the process of getting Beca on the bed for a small thing she was pretty strong.

"But i'm not ti..red" Beca said yawning.

"Yeah goodnight Becs" Aubrey said walking over to give her shoulder a slight squeeze.

"Have sweet dreams" Chloe said placing a kiss on her forehead.

"Yeah sleep tight Becs" Stacie said.

They left the room taking the rubbish with them to throw down the chute, within minutes of them leaving Beca had fallen asleep five minutes later Kimmy Jin returned with to see a her fast asleep snoring slightly carefully closing the door so she didn't wake her up she walked over to get ready for bed.

* * *

 **sooo Beca and Jesse are dating ahhh...and the Komissmars idea was a guests idea and i liked it so thanks to Happynight...and people are saying Kommissar i think i will make it a Beca Kommissar pairing, but you'll have to be paitent...also let me know if the rating needs to be changed and review cos yeah i like reading them really. :)**


	14. Chapter 14

**Might not update for awhile as i am going to my friends house for a sleepover and it just depends if i finish the chapter or not hopefully i will anyways enjoy the chapter**

* * *

The next day Beca woke with a pretty bad hangover, groaning as she closed her eyes to the bright light shining through the curtains.

"Oh morning Beca" Kimmy Jin said as she shut the door, she had just got back from the showers.

"Mmm" Beca groaned

"Beca you okay" Kimmy Jin asked, taking in her roommates appearance.

"Hangover" Beca mumbled.

"Ohh" Kimmy Jin said. "Well how's about you have a shower that would probably help and i have some aspirin if you want some" Kimmy Jin said.

"Yes please, Beca said sitting up slowly, her muscles ached were a little sore.

"Here you go" Kimmy Jin said handing Beca some water and aspirin.

"Thanks" Beca said before putting the aspirin in her mouth and sipping the water.

After taking the aspirin Beca went to get her wash bag and walked to the showers, as she stood under the water the feel of the hot water was soothing on her sore muscles turning off the showers she wrapped her towel round herself before putting on her robe and walked back to her dorm.

"Better" Kimmy Jin asked from her desk.

"Yeah, thanks" Beca said, she walked over to her wardrobe to get changed she chose her black skinny jeans plain red shirt long sleeved as some of her scars were still visible and a grey jacket.

Beca looked over at the clock on her desk to see it was half past nine she had an hour left till her class so she got her books ready also her laptop and decided to get some breakfast on the way.

* * *

Beca found her class to go by rather quickly, as she packed her books away and walked into the corridor. She walked outside breathing in the fresh air,she had a free period and decided she would work on a mix and chose a spot under a tree to work there she had been sat there for ten minutes when she felt a tap on her left shoulder taking her headphones off and looking up she saw Kommisar.

"Oh hey" Beca said gesturing for her to sit down.

"Hey" Kommisar said sitting beside Beca.

"Hows you" Beca asked, .

"Not to bad thank you, what about you feeling better" Kommisar asked, having found Beca crying the other day.

"Much better thanks" Beca said smiling.

"Thats good to hear, what are you doing" Kommisar asked gesturing to Becas laptop.

"Oh i decided to work on a mix, i want to be a DJ and produce music" Beca said.

"Cool, can i have a listen if that's okay" Kommisar asked, not wanting to seem intrusive.

"Sure" Beca said handing the headphones to Kommisar and selecting a mix she had made a while ago.

Kommisar couldn't believe her ears the soft tempo mixed with an upbeat backing sound was amazing.

"Wow that was amazing sure are talented" Kommisar said handing Beca her headphones back.

"Thanks" Beca said blushing slightly. "So what are you studying" She asked.

"MBA, i want to go into business well create my own" Kommisar said. "What about you" She asked.

"Sounds cool, and Philosophy...it's kinda boring but" Beca said

They stayed there chatting for a while Kommisar telling Beca what it was like in Eifel, and how the architecture there was beautiful.

"Oh shit, sorry i gotta go i have a shift at the station sorry" Beca said packing her laptop away.

"It's okay i'll seee you around" Kommisar said waving at her.

"Yeah, bye" Beca said waving and turning to walk to the station.

* * *

Beca arrived at the station just in time for shift, quickly chucking her bag upstairs she set to work, she had been working for three minutes when she felt someone wrap their arms around her waist she smiled leaning into them.

"Hey Jesse" Beca said, feeling warm in his arms.

"Hey you good" He asked, turning her round to face him keeping his arms round her waist..

"Yeah you" Beca said wrapping her arms round his neck.

"Yeah i'm great" He said smiling, leaning in to meet her lips.

"Mmmm" Beca said pulling away slightly. "You know you're a great kisser" She said.

"Am i now..you're not to bad yourself" He replied, leaning back into capture her lips once more.

After three minutes of making out they set back to work stacking CD's.

"Looking forward to Saturday" Jesse asked, he was excited he couldn't wait.

"Yeah, i really can't wait i wish it was Saturday now" Beca said walking over to him.

"Me to" Jesse said placing a kiss on her forehead.

* * *

After the shift was over Jesse had to go to a class so he bid Beca farewell, Beca had Bella's practice soon so she decided to head over to the audirtiorium to set up, half an hour later everyone else started to come in.

"Heya Becs" Jess said.

"Hey" Beca said.

They had rehearsed there set for an hour and Beca called a break they all got some chairs round in a circle.

"So how bout you and Jesse" Chloe asked causing Beca to blush.

"What about her and Jesse" CR asked confused at what the red head meant.

"We...um well ahh" Beca said stuttering, she wondered if they would mind with the oath and all she never took it away when Aubrey made her captain but then again she had never been mad. "We are dating" Beca said hiding her face in her hands as she blushed.

"Awe good for you" Ashley said, thinking how cute they'd look together.

"Thanks" Beca said giving her a small smile.

"Well you kissed yet" Denise asked.

"Yeah, and before you ask yes he is a good kisser but don't go kissing him he's mine" Beca said playfully.

"Sooo he asked you out on a date yet" Aubrey asked.

"Yeah" Beca said. "Saturday, yeah i'm really excited".

"Awe yeey" Aubrey said clapping her hands excitedly, everyone was surprised that the blonde didn't bash the small girl for dating a Treble but didn't comment as they liked the new Aubrey.

"I like to go cockroaching" Lily whispered getting weird looks from the others.

"Right, lets practice some more" Beca said getting up from her chair and standing at the front.

They rehearsed for anther two hours and then went there separate ways, Beca was walking back to her dorm when she heard someone calling her name turning round she saw her dad walking towards her.

"Hey dad" Beca said.

"Hey Becs" He said giving her a hug which she returned. "You doing okay" Sebastian asked.

"Yeah thanks you" Beca asked, giving her dad a smile.

"Yeah i'm good..just wanted to see how you were doing..how's rehearsals going" He asked, trying to make conversation.

"It's going great thanks everyone loved the new set and yeah...i met this new transfer student Kommisar...she's from Eifel" Beca said, filling her dad a bit on who she was.

"Sounds like a lovely person" He said glancing at his watch. "Hate to go but got a class sorry" He said.

"Hey it's okay love you" Beca said giving her dad a hug.

"Love you to" He said returning the hug and placing a kiss on top of her head.

Beca walked to her dorm and opened the door Kimmy Jin wasn't in Beca had no more classes for the day so she decided to see if Kommisar was free.

 **Hey you free, want**

 **to go get some coffee.**

Beca sent the text and waited for a reply, five minutes later her phone buzzed.

 **Yeah i'm free**

 **and that would be lovely**

 **where do you want to go.**

Beca thought of a good place, making up her mind she sent Kommisar a reply of where to go.

 **Starbucks okay.**

Beca was walking out her dorm when her phone buzzed a message.

Yes, see you there.

Putting her phone back in her pocket Beca made her way to Starbucks, when she got there Beca sat down in a booth and waited for Kommisar to show up she had been there a few minutes when the tall blonde showed up.

"Hey" Kommisar said sitting in the booth opposite Beca.

"Hey i haven't ordered yet i thought...i'd wait for you" Beca said, blushing slightly.

"Awe thank you, so sweet of you" Kommisar said, giving Beca a small smile which she returned.

They ordered there coffee and sat there in silence for a bit neither knowing what to say. When the waiter brought them their coffee Kommisar spoke.

"So tell me a bit about yourself" Kommisar asked wanting to get to know the girl.

"What do you want to know" Beca asked taking a sip of her coffee.

"Where'd you grow up" She asked.

"Here in Atlanta, always have lived here" Beca said, smiling slightly.

"Same with me and Eifel, well except for now" Kommisar said sipping her coffee.

"Was it hard..moving so far away" Beca asked, she wouldn't be able to move so far..not how things were now anyway.

"Yeah it was hard...only cos i was leaving my family" Kommisar said, remembering them telling her to work hard and have fun.

Beca took a sip of her coffee before talking. "Soooo".

Kommisar smiled a little. "Anything else interesting about you bet you are full of mysteries"

Beca laughed at this "Well my dad teaches Compv Lit here so there's that and my parents are divorced".

"What about your mom" Kommisar asked, seeing the sad expression on Becas face she felt she shouldn't have asked.

"She um...she sh...died when i was fourteen" Beca said, trying not to cry she really didn't want to cry inf ront of everyone in here and again in front of Kommisar.

"Sorry" Kommisar said putting her hand on top of Becas stroking the back of it with her thumb.

"It's okay...thanks..." Beca said a tear slipping from her eye, don't cry gee can you just not she thought to herself.

"Hey" Kommisar said getting up to sit by Beca giving her a hug, Beca leaned into her embrace. "Shhh i'm sorry i didn't mean to make you upset"

"I...It's okay just it still hurts" Beca said starting to cry, great now i'm crying Beca thought.

"Hey it's okay shhh little mouse it's okay...it's okay if it still hurts" Kommisar said stroking her hair.

"Yeah" Beca said looking up at Kommisar seeing her nod, wow her eyes Beca thought.

After awhile Beca stopped crying but stayed in Kommisar's embrace.

"A brain tumor" Beca said so quietly Kommisar almost missed it.

"What do you mean" She asked, wondering what she was on about.

"My mom she died from a brain tumor...we both thought it was just a bug but i came home form school one day...to find her on the floor shaking i called the ambulance i did what the operator told me but i guess it didn't help...but they didn't try hard enough to save her...i had to go live with dad then not so bad i guess i didn't make any new friends i had to move schools..." Beca said wondering why she just told Kommisar all that, but then she felt safe around her she knew she wouldn't judge her.

Kommisar didn't say anything she just hugged her closer to her they stayed like that for what seemed like ages until they both decided it was time to go, so they got up from the booth Beca payed the bill and they walked back to campus.

"Thanks for the coffee it was nice getting out of campus" Kommisar said.

"It's okay...and uh your welcome" Beca said, they said there goodbyes as their dorms were in different buildings walking to her door Beca opened it to see Kimmy Jin studying.

"Hey Beca" Kimmy Jin said having heard her enter the room.

"Hey" Beca said starting to get ready for bed.

"Going to bed already" Kimmy Jin asked jokingly.

"Ha ha ha" Beca said. "I'm just tired feel like a good sleep will do me good"

Kimmy Jin nodded. "Sleep tight then"

"Yeah thanks...you to" Beca said getting under the covers, making herself comfy and closing her eyes drifting of to sleep.

* * *

 **Anyways there you go i tried to get like subtle flirting between Beca and Kommisar but in a way where they could just be really close friends if you know what i mean and that Beca told her about her mom cos she trusts her even though they met not long ago so yeah working it in. hope you liked the chapter and again review cos i like reading them..can someone please tell me what crunking means its in this song and yeah from bring it on i have seen the movie but i want to see the musical..the movie is good but the musical sounds heaps better...from the song do your own thing reminds me of old music i don't know why its just the sound of it really anyway enough of my whatever i was doing bye and goodnight or morning or afternoon or evening okay bye :P**


	15. Chapter 15

**yeey chapter 15 sorry it's late not that i have a schedule or anything..but my sleepover was great we watched movies (not pitch perfect) her mum burnt the pizza it was funny..still edible but yeah and i just didn't know what it was gonna be about the chapter then i knew then i couldn't think of any words so i added bits when i got inspiration...damn writers block**

 **anyways on with the story enjoy**

* * *

Beca was sat at her desk finishing up an assignment that was due in on monday, but she couldn't concentrate her mind was elsewhere tonight was her date with Jesse to say she was excited would be an understatement he had called her earlier saying he would pick her up at six when she asked where they were going he said she would just have to wait and see, giving up on her assignment as she wasn't getting any further she decided she would go for a walk.

Beca had been walking round campus for ten minutes when she heard her naem being called.

"Beca, hey" Bea turned round to see Chloe walking towards her.

"Hey" Beca replied as Chloe pulled her into a hug which she returned.

"How you doing then" Chloe asked.

"Okay, my date with Jesse tonight hows you anyway" Beca said trying to contain her excitement at the mention of her date.

"Okay thanks, you excited...for your date" Chloe asked gently bumbing the girl on her shoulder as they walked to a near by bench.

"Yes i really can't wait i don't know where we are going he said he's picking me up at six...wait what do i even wear" Beca said, starting to worrry a little she had never had a boyfriend before.

"Beca calm down..i can come help if you'd like you know help chose an outfit and do your make up its up to you though" Chloe said trying not to push the girl into saying yes as she really wanted to do this.

"Please that would be great thank you" Beca said giving CHloe a hug, Chloe hugged her back slightly surprised that the brunette had initiated the hug.

"Its okay how about i come by your dorm a four so we will have plenty of time" Chloe suggested.

"Yeah that's fine..Kimmy Jin is away on some trip with her Korean club so e will have plenty of space..yeh" Beca said unable to wipe the smile off her face.

"Thats cool...so how's classes going" Chloe asked glad to see Beca smiling.

"Good thanks yeah how about yours...they going okay" Beca asked.

"Good thanks, hoping i will pass but don't tell anyone this i'm gonna fail russian lit on purpose so i can stay as a Bella" Chloe said whispering in Becas ear.

"What...you can't do that can you...not that i don't want you as a Bella i would like you to stay" Beca said even though she thought it wrong for Chloe to fail on purpose she was glad that it would mean she would be staying.

"Oh Beca...being a Bella is my life and i'm not ready to leave it behind yet" Chloe said dramatically.

Beca laughed at the redhead, they sat there chatting for another hour until they both had to go to their classes.

* * *

Jesse was walking to Sebastian's office he had got a note during a class saying to see him in his office at half three as he wanted to see him, arriving in front of his office door Jesse knocked.

"Come in" Sebastian said from inside, standing when he saw it was Jesse.

Jesse closed the door behind him and walked up to Sebastian. "You wanted to see me"

"Ahh yes have a seat" he said gesturing to the couch and sat down as Jesse did. "So you are dating my daughter"

"Yes..its okay right" Jesse asked hoping it was he really liked Beca.

"It is...but don't you ever hurt her, i mean it shes my little angel..don't tell her i said that though..you know she can feel to much so just dont hurt her please or i'll get you removed from this college" Sebastian said, Jesse couldn't tell if he was joking on the last part.

"I would never hurt her ever" Jesse said hoping that the man would believe him.

"Good, its just great to see her so happy for a change thanks for helping with that" Sebastian said patting him on the shoulder.

After a small chat on how Jesse's classes were going they parted ways Sebastian to a class and jesse to get ready for his date with Beca.

* * *

Beca was sitting on her bed waiting for Chloe to turn up she was starting to get nervous sure she was excited to but it was her first ever date and she hoped she wouldn't do anything wrong, there was a knock at the door and Beca jumped off her bed to answer it, Chloe was there smiling as she walked into the room.

"So you ready for this make over..style oh and you date" Chloe asked.

"Yes and i'm nervous its my first date what if i mess it up do you say...do you do certain things.." Beca rambled getting cut off by Chloe.

"Clam down Becs, you'll be fine you won't mess it up and be yourself that's all, there are not really and do's and don'ts" Chloe said glad to see that calmed Beca a bit.

"Okay..so lets do this" Beca said, Chloe walked over to her closet searching through her clothes to see what she had. "This is nice" She said pulling out a dark purple flannel shirt with long sleeves passing it to Beca.

"Forgot i had this" Beca said holding it in front of her.

Chloe carried on looking through Becas closet when she came across some black skinny jeans that had a skull pattern on one of the back pockets.

"These are sweet" Chloe said handing them to Beca who took them and stared at them sitting down on her bed.

"I've never worn these...i didn't even know i packed them" Beca said as Chloe sat down beside her.

"Well its a good first time to wear them now come on get changed..while i see about make up" Chloe said getting up and walking over to the table glad that Beca had a range of make up.

Beca put her jeans on first glad that they were comfy to wear they hugged her legs nicely, she then moved to the purple shirt.

"Hey you decent" Chloe asked as Beca took her jacket off.

"Uh yeah" Beca replied, Chloe turned round wanting to ask Beca if she had any make up preferences.

"Do you want your make up in a particular way or..." Chloe started then stopped when her eyes came across Becas arms, why does she have scars does she cut what Chloe thought.

Beca followed Chloe's gaze and saw where she was looking. "I..I" She started not able to get her words out she hadn't cut in a week and she planned on never doing it again.

"Beca" Chloe said taking the small girls hand and sitting her on the bed. "Why"

"I..i..its just i didn't know what to do it..urghh" Beca said getting frustrated.

"Hey its okay" Chloe said giving the brunette a hug, Beca leaned into her embrace and a tear slipped down her face. "Hey hey don't cry" Chloe said wiping them away.

"I..deserved it i thought noone loved me and what i had put you guys through it made me feel better and the pain go away...but i don't do it anymore i stopped honest" Beca said crying slightly.

"Well that's good then you aren't gonna do it again promise" Chloe asked.

"Promise" Beca said. "Glad it has long sleeves"

"Well why don't you put it on see how it looks then make up" Chloe said to which Beca nodded, Chloe turned around and Beca put on the shirt.

"Okay you can turn around now" She said.

"Wow you look gorges" Chloe said, Beca blushed lightly which Chloe thought was cute.

"Thanks.." Beca said.

"Well take a seat so i can do your hair and make up" Chloe said gesturing to the chair, Beca sat down in the chair and Chloe started her work, she decided to do her hair first seeing Beca had tongs she curled her hair brushing it through after to give it a natural look, for her make up Chloe decided on light cover of foundation with light coating of eye liner a change to the heavy amount beca usually wore black mascara not to much and a light coating of pale pink lipstick when she was finished Beca went over to the full length mirror to look.

"Wow..is it wow i look..i look" Beca said, she thought she looked great Chloe had curled her hair nicely that it didn't look awkward her make up was great a nice natural use and her outfit hugged her body nicely and best of all she felt comfterble.

"You look amazing Becs" Chloe said, smiling at Becas reaction at herself in the mirror. "Here i also found these shoes in my wardrobe thought you'd like them and you can keep them i never wear them" Chloe said handing Beca a pair of purple doc martens with a skull pattern on them Beca instantly loved them.

"Thanks...but i can't keep them i could just wear them for tonight an..." Beca was cut off by Chloe.

"Its okay you can keep them but i won't make you if you don't want to but you will always be allowed to borrow them whenever so you might aswell keep them" Chloe said.

"Okay if your sure..thanks" Beca said putting them on yeah her and Chloe had the same show size which came in really helpful. "Thanks and thanks for this i would of probably gone in what i was wearing earlier" Beca said laughing lightly.

"Still looked gorges and Jesse wouldn't care what you wore he would still think you look amazballz" Chloe said.

"Haa thanks...wow its five forty five already i'm excited and nervous still will he like this Chloe" Beca rambled.

"Beca what did i just say" Chloe asked.

"Jesse would think i look amazing whatever i wore" Beca answered feeling better.

"Exactly...you enjoy your date and tell me all about it tomorrow okay don't leave out any details like what you ordered" Chloe said jokingly.

"Okay thanks again for this" Beca said as she and Chloe walked to the door.

"No problem happy to help" Chloe said pulling Beca in for one last hug before leaving Becas dorm.

Beca shut the door and sat down on her bed nervously waiting she was worrying slightly but remembered Chloe's words and felt at ease, it felt like only a few seconds went by when there was a knock at her door, getting up to answer it Beca breathed in deeply and opened the door to see Jesse standing there with a bunch of different coloured tulips.

"Hey, ready to go" Jesse asked, god she looks amazing he thought she always looked amazing to him but wow.

"Yeah lets go" Beca said grabbing her bag and walking out her dorm locking her door, earlier she had found a nice hand bag in her wardrobe so she thought to use it for tonight.

"Here these are for you" Jesse said handing Beca the bunch of tulips hoping she liked them.

"They're lovely thank you" Beca said smelling them as she linked her hand with Jesses, he was wearing a teal flannel shirt with a black blazer and pants and black canvas shoes in Becas opinion he looked hot.

"You look beautiful..." Jesse said smiling at Becas cute blush.

"Thanks...you look hot by the way" Beca said wondering if it was the right thing to say.

"Thank you" Jesse said leading Beca to his car, when they reached his car He opened the passenger door for Beca.

"Thanks" Beca said getting in the car, wow he opened the door for me.

"Yes i did i'm a gentleman" Jesse said as he put his seatbelt on.

"I Said that out loud" Beca said buckling up.

"Yes you did" Jesse said leaning over the dash board, Beca kissed him back and smiled as he pulled away.

"Well here we go" Jesse said as he stated the car, where they were going wasn't that far out campus.

"Where we going then" Beca asked after five minutes of silence.

"Well you'll see" Jesse said smiling.

"Jessee" Beca said, hoping this would get something out of him.

"Beawww" jesse replied not giving in.

"Pleease" Beca said trying one last time.

"Noo sorry we aren't far anyway" Jesse said laughing slightly as he saw Becas defeated look in the corner of his eye.

Ten minutes later they arrived at their destination a nice italian restaurant.

"Here we are" Jesse said parking the car and switching the engine off.

"Wow Jesse" Beca said as she got out the car Jesse had opened her door for her again she thought it was sweet. "This is wow"

"Glad you like it i wanted to take you somewhere nice and yeah" He said as they walked hand in hand to the door, Jesse opened the door gesturing for Beca to go first.

They were shown to a a table in the corner near the window the table had a candle and a lily in a tall vase, a waiter came and brought them their menus.

"Wow Jesse this is amazing its beautiful in here" Beca said to which Jesse smiled and blushed slightly.

"Glad you like it i came here once for my moms birthday and thought it'd be a good place to take you" Jesse said glancing at his menu.

"I don't know what to have there's so much to choose from" Beca said, wondering if you had to choose certain foods.

"I had the cannelloni when i came here its quite nice" Jesse said hoping this would help the brunette.

"Mmmm i still don't know...what are you having" Beca asked hoping to get ideas from him or maybe just order the same.

"I think i'll get the chicken milanese with spaghetti...what you getting" Jesse asked.

"Umm i..i don't know sorry i.." Beca said annoyed she couldn't make a decision.

"Hey it's okay was hard for me to choose what one appeals to you most" He asked hoping this would help the brunette with her descion.

"The salsa spaghetti sounds nice" Beca replied wondering if that's what she should get.

"Then how about you get that, it does sound nice" Jesse said, seeing Beca nod. "Now for the drinks non alcoholic here seeing as we won't pass for twenty one" Jesse said jokingly.

Beca smiled she loved this goof ball. "Well how about crodino...sounds nice don't have to.." Beca said getting cut off by her goof ball.

"Sounds lovely" Jesse said smiling at Beca, at that moment a waiter came to take their order and they fell into a comfterble silence.

"So how've you been doing" Beca asked awkwardly, was this the right thing to say.

"Good thanks how about you classes going okay" He asked.

"I'm good thanks and yeah classes are going okay what about yours" Beca asked quietly.

"Good thanks" jesse wondered why she was being quiet. 'Why you so quiet everything really okay" Concern lacing his voice.

"Yeah..its just...i've never been on a date before i've never had a boyfriend and i don't want to mess things up by doing something wrong" Beca said avoiding Jesse's eyes.

"Hey look at me...you could never do wrong Becs you won't mess anything up okay you are amazing and beautiful and i love you" Jesse said looking into her eyes and taking her hand in his.

"Really...i won't mess it up" Beca asked innocently.

"No you won't" Jesse said smiling at her, soon their food arrived along with their drinks both dishes smelled delicious.

"Okay...it smells and looks good" Beca said as she lifted some food onto her fork an placed it in her mouth. "Mmm" Beca said enjoying the taste.

"Good" Jesse asked taking a sip of his drink.

"Yeah wanna try some" Beca asked scooping some on her fork and holding it towards Jesse.

"Yes please" Jesse said smiling as Beca fed him, relishing in the taste damn that is good he thought. "Okay now its only fair i offer mine to taste" Jesse said, Beca smiled and leaned over abit as jesse fed her enjoying the taste of the food.

"It's good wow" Beca said after taking a sip of her drink, they ate in silence for a while.

"Soo.." Jesse said not knowing what to say.

"Mmm" Beca said swallowing a mouthful of food. "How're rehearsals going" Beca asked.

"Okay Bumper left us something to do with John Mare so Benji is with us now" Jesse said putting a forkful of food in his mouth.

"What really...oh but i bet Benji is happy" Beca said sipping her drink.

"Yeah he is so how's things going with the Bella's" rehearsals going okay" Jesse asked.

"Yeah everything is going great everyone likes the set even Aubrey so thats good" Beca said putting down her fork plate empty. "That was amazing"

"Glad you enjoyed it" Jesse said taking his last mouthful before sipping his drink.

"This really is a nice place" Beca said smiling at Jesse.

"Glad you like it, desert or we can share a desert if you want" Jesse asked not knowing if the girl was full or not.

"Can we..um share one please" Beca asked quietly and smiled when Jesse nodded. "Oh and you're choosing surprise me"

"Okay if you insist" Jesse replied scanning the menu and finding a dessert he thought would be perfect waving a waiter over he gave his order also asking for two spoons.

"So you know better be ready to lose you know at ICCA's" Beca said playfully.

"Oh really well if i was to lose to anyone i'd be happy to lose to you but i'm pretty sure we got this in the bage" Jesse said winking at Beca who just smiled at his antics.

"We'll see" Beca said they sat in silence and soon their dessert arrived.

"Here we are panna cotta i uh..i hope you like it" Jesse asked picking some up on his spoon and holding it in front of Beca.

"Really" Beca said smirking at Jesse who just used his puppy dog eyes on her. "Fine okay" Beca said leaning over as he fed her the desert her eyes closed as the desert melted in her mouth. "SO good" Beca said after swallowing.

"I'm glad you like it" Jesse said picking some up on his spoon and eating some himself.

"Hey only far i feed you now" Beca said picking some up on her spoon and holding it in front of him.

"Mmmm" Jesse said playfully refusing to open his mouth.

"Come on please...look here comes the airplane" Beca said playfully swooping the spoon away and back to his mouth. Jesse still refused to open his mouth. "Fine" Beca said playfully smirking as she flicked some at his face.

Beca laughed and Jesse joined her wiping dessert off his face they finished their dessert and a waiter came and gave them the bill.

"I can pay" Beca said taking out her purse.

"No no i'll pay i'm taking you out on a date and i am a gentleman" Jesse said paying the bill leaving a tip.

Soon they were outside walking towards Jesse's car when they reached his car Beca turned round and kissed Jesse on the lips, he kissed her back and put his hands on her waist as her arms linked round his neck, Beca pulled away first.

"Thank you for an amazing date Jesse" Beca said smiling looking into his eyes.

"Your welcome many more to come" Jesse said leaning in to kiss her on the lips again pulling away when air was needed.

"I love you" Beca whispered and Jesse hugged her pulling her in close.

"I love you to" He whispered in her ear.

* * *

After a fifteen minute drive back they were stood outside the door to Beca's apartment.

"Sooo.." Beca said awkwardly, not knowing what to do.

"Sooo..." Jesse said, who wasn't sure either.

"Do you want to come in for a bit i mean i don't you don't have to just..." Beca said her rambling getting cut off by Jesse.

"I would love to" He said smiling as Beca smiled.

So Beca opened her door letting Jesse in and they sat on her bed, neither one was sure what to say.

"Well...uhh mmm" Beca said, what do i do now was it right to invite him in, do i need to say something.

"Sooo what now" Jesse asked laughing awkwardly.

"I don't know what do we do" Beca asked looking at him hoping he would know.

"Not sure what do you wanna do" Jesse asked looking at the brunette.

"Dunno" Beca said shrugging and looking down.

Jesse lifted her head up and looked down at her lips before leaning into to kiss her, Beca moaned when she felt his tongue slide across her lips opening them to grant him access the kiss was full of passion on love something that was new to Beca they both pulled away when they needed air.

"Wow..." Beca said breathing heavily.

"Yeah wow.." Jesse said looking at Beca his eyes full of love.

They sat in a comfterble silence for a while neither knowing quite what to say.

"I..can tell you...something" Beca asked nervously, breaking the silence.

"Yeah course you can tell me anything" Jesse said putting his arm round her.

"Okay don't be mad please..please don't be" beca said innocently.

"I won't be mad Becs whats wrong" jesse asked concerned at the change of becas demner.

"I uh i...um urrgh" Beca said, why is it so hard to tell him i love him and Chloe knows even though that was an accident.

"Beca you can tell me anything and i'll still love you" Jesse said looking into her eyes, Beca stared back at him seeing the love in his eyes she nodded and took a bug breath.

"I um used to i um i..did" Beca sighed as she still couldn't tell him, taking another breathe she tried again. "I um..i..i..i um used to cut..i'm sorry" Beca said quietly a tear rolling down her face, she was ready for Jesse to leave she was surprised that Chloe didn't leave when she found out but whats to say Jesse won't.

"Hey its okay come her" Jesse said pulling her into him for a hug as Beca cried on his shoulder. "I still love you and i'm not going anywhere okay" Jesse said.

"Promise" Beca said lifting her head up to meet his eyes.

"I promise" He replied looking back at her. "You won't do it again will you, if you feel like it call me okay and we can talk or i can come over to you" He said.

"Okay..but i'm n..never going to do it again i was sad then i had noone but i do now and i'm happy" Beca said between sobs.

"That's great then but the offer still stands okay" Jesse said and Beca nodded they stayed there like that until Jesse felt Becas breathing even out, she fell asleep Jesse eased his way into a comfier position pulling the blankets over them as he closed his eyes she maybe be mad in the morning at this but oh well he thought as he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

 **I know i said i'd do a Kommisar but where this is going i don't know if i can cos just you know...i can't think of a way for them to split it just not working out doesn't seem to fit and i don't wanna make Jesse a douche cos then i'd have to make Beca emotional again cos of the trust issues and stuff and unsure of love and all so it would take a while for beca and Kommisar to be together and yeah...i'm sorry gonna keep this as a Jeca...i might do a Kommisar in further as i am planning to do a bechloe and a mitchsen in the future when i think of a story line**

 **i feel like i spelt Jesse wrong somewhere in this chapter i can't find it well not entirely wrong just spelt differently Jessie so sorry if it's there.**

 **please review and stuff cos yeah i like to know people thoughts and critism is good cos planning on acting and all donna if im goona be famous like anna k and all but it would be cool but i dont care as long as i get to act anyway rambling over review and yeah thanks for reading this chap**


	16. Chapter 16

**Have not updated in ages sorry about that college has started yeeey...i found the work hard i literly cried because i didn't even know why it was so hard, anyway thats the first assignment of the year and already getting a little stressed ahha...i don't know when my next update will be so yo enjoy this chapter well hope you do sorry short.**

* * *

Beca woke the next morning snuggled into Jesse's side his arm round her holding her close, she smiled at the warm feeling it gave her feeling him stir slightly as his eyes fluttered open.

"Morning" Beca said looking into his brown orbs, i could stare into them all day she thought.

"Morning" He said placing a kiss on her forehead.

They stayed snuggled together for another few minutes enjoying the silence.

"So what do you want to do today" Jesse asked as her traced small circles on Becas shoulder.

"Mmm i don't know i don't have a Bella's rehearsal today, i thought everyone deserved time off as they all worked so hard" Beca said.

"I don't have a rehearsal today either so we can spend all day together..of you like" Jesse said looking down into her captivating blue eyes.

"We could go and get some breakfast" Beca suggested as she sat up a bit more, snuggling back next to him when she was done.

"Yeah let's do that you have anywhere in mind" He asked as she laid her head on his shoulder.

"Um..IHOP okay" Beca asked.

"Yes it definitely his" Jesse said as he placed a kiss on her lips.

Beca smiled into the kiss as she kissed him back.

"Lets get ready then" Jesse said as he pulled back from the kiss.

Beca nodded and got up from her bed Jesse followed and said he would be back in about twenty minutes they kissed one last time before Jesse walked out of Becas room.

Beca chose a blue flannel shirt and her black skinny jeans to wear and the shoes that Chloe gave her, she ran a brush through her hair and took of the previous night's make-up and applied her usual amount of black eyeliner, Jesse returned ten minutes later and they headed out to IHOP.

"What to have for breakfast" Jesse said as he read through the menu.

"So many choices and they all taste so good" Beca said eyes scanning through her menu.

"Waffles or pancakes why is it such a hard choice to make" Jesse said dramatically.

"Anything with bacon is good" Beca said deciding that whatever she chose it would have bacon.

"So true" Jesse said.

"Well i think i will have bacon...and um pancakes and egg...yes that" Beca said putting down her menu.

"Think i'll have the same and coffee" Jesse said looking at Beca.

"Definitely" She said, a waiter came to take their orders returning a few minutes later with their coffee telling them their food would be out soon.

"Mmm this is good coffee" Beca said as she took several sips.

"One of the only places that sell good coffee...you want good coffee go out of campus" Jesse said putting his coffee down.

"I know how can someone make coffee bad..just how" Beca said.

"Must have some skill" Jesse said.

Soon their food arrived and they dug in relishing the taste.

"Mis...ood" Beca said swallowing down a mouthful of bacon.

"Mmm...agreed" Jesse said after he swallowed his mouthful.

"We..watch a movie...after this please" Beca said quietly not looking up at Jesse, she didn't know why but she really wanted to watch a movie with him.

"I'm sorry what was that" Jesse asked even though he heard her and that Beca knew he had heard her.

Beca gave him a glare before she repeated herself more clearly. "We watch a movie after this please".

"Yes of course...the moviecation is working yes i'm amazing you're amazing we're amazing movies are amazing.." Jesse said getting cut off by Beca.

"Okay i get it it's amazing" She said smiling. "but can you choose one please i...i don't really know movies soo.." Beca said.

"Of course i can it will be like the best movie you have watched willingly with me" He said dramatically.

"Okay whatever you say nerd" Beca said smiling at him.

They finished the rest of their meal having the occasional small talk and Beca stealing jesse's last piece of Bacon, when they were finished Jesse paid for the meal and they headed back up to his dorm room to watch a movie Benji was out seeing some magician show so they had the room to them selves.

"So lets chose a movie then" Jesse said thoughtfully scanning over his large collection of movies.

Beca sat down on his bed and waited while he chose a movie, after about four minutes of looking Jesse went over to the bed with his laptop and dvd to join Beca. He grabbed a bowl from under his bed and a bag of popcorn.

"So what did ya chose" Beca asked as Jesse set everything up emptying the popcorn into the bowl for him.

"I chose Rocky II"Jesse said holding up the dvd.

"Okay cool...i guess" Beca said not sure if it would be good or not.

"Definitely cool" Jesse said as he put the disc in to the laptop and he and Beca got comfy.

Twenty minutes into the movie and if Beca was honest with herself she was rather enjoying the movie glad she had seen Rocky I before even though that was less willingly.

"So what'd ya think" Jesse asked as the credits were rolling he placed his laptop and the half eaten bowl of popcorn on his desk.

"I..i enjoyed it pretty good movie" Beca said smiling.

"Yeah she enjoyed it whooop...oh yeah i knew it" Jesse said jumping up onto his bed.

Beca just laughed at his antics and decided to join him.

"Yes i enjoyed it great movie" Beca said laughing.

After a lot of jumping they slumped down onto the bed out of breathe.

"God i love you" Jesse said looking at the brunettes blue eyes.

"I love you to" Beca said leaning into kiss him.

Jesse kissed her back he would never tire of kissing her would never deny any kiss she gave her, feeling her tongue against his lips he opened his mouth letting her tongue enter he felt her moan as their tongues danced together stroking her side as her hands tangled in his hair, pulling away after what felt like ages to breathe.

"Hey there" Jesse said looking into her eyes that seemed darker.

"Hey" Beca said stroking her hand in his hair.

* * *

 **hope you liked it i do you think they are ready yet i don't know im not gonna write the chapter it will be like a before and after thing cos yaaa i kinda think they are sorta ready well jesse yes but he would wait and beca might be with the whole trust not sure**

 **i read back and found out i typed that chloe did call beca lets say beca forgot and chloe just didn't correct her cos of the state she was in.**

 **review please and favourite if you want to**


	17. Chapter 17

**this chapter has trigger warnings so yeah i will put them before it happens so you know...enjoy**

* * *

Beca stared into his eyes getting lost into them am i ready for this she thought to herself, she didn't feel ready but she loved him and didn't want to do wrong and lose him give him a reason to hate her.

I am ready but is she Jesse thought he didn't wanna hurt her or push her to hard he wanted her to feel safe with him and not feel like she had to do this if she didn't want to.

"You okay" Jesse asked tucking a strand of hair behind the brunette's ear.

Beca only nodded looking away from him, okay she thought to herself you can do it it will make him happy and you'll be happy because he is don't go back to messing things up.

"You sure" Jesse said seeing Beca's change in demeanor she looked troubled he thought.

"Yeah" Beca replied although it came out in a mere whisper.

"You know we don't have to if you don't want to" Jesse said reassuringly.

"N..n..no no it's fine i am ready an..an..d i want to i..do" Beca replied stumbling on her words.

Jesse didn't believe her he sat himself up more pulling Beca up with him and got themselves comfortable again.

Beca didn't know where to start maybe i should let him lead he wants this i do to but he should lead Beca thought to herself she was starting to panic she wanted to do what was best for him and please him but it felt so hard.

"Beca come here" Jesse said as Beca began to tear up, she fell into his embrace as more tears fell.

"i...i...i" Beca tried to speak in between sobs but couldn't get the words out.

"It's fine shhh Beca its okay you have no reason to be sorry you did nothing wrong" Jesse said guessing she wanted to apoligise.

"I..i do though i want to m..ake you happy and give you what you want...and i can't...i mess every...thing up i do...please don..'t hate me plea..se" Beca said whilst crying.

Jesse held onto her tighter pulling her closer to his body "Beca it's fine we can take things as slow as you want...okay you set the pace i could never hate you Beca only love you more and more each day you make me happy all the time" Jesse said whilst rubbing an arm on her shoulder.

Beca started to cry more at this why was he wasting his time with her she wasn't worth it he would get tired and leave her or worse cheat she thought to herself.

"You're...you're wasting...you're ti..me with me Jesse" Beca said as the tears continued to stream down her face "What if..i ca..n never give you more..." Beca said sniffing moving out of Jesse's embrace. "I...i..got to...go..i..i'm so...sorry i..." Beca said as she left the room leaving Jesse stunned.

"Beca wait please come back" Jesse said as he leapt off his bed out to the corridor in search of Beca.

Beca decided not to head back to her dorm so she carried on walking you messed this up again seriously why do you keep on doing this she thought to herself if you went away _noone would care you know_ the voice in her head said Beca shook her head she didn't want those thoughts. Her phone buzzed in her pocket she took it out looking at the caller ID seeing Jesse's name.

 **(Trigger warning case you hear voices)**

 _"He is only calling to tell you to fuckoff out his life he doesn't really love you he hates you i know its a strong word but you know it's true"_

"No...No shhhuut up pleease" Beca said

 _"Awe Beca trying to get rid of me"_

"Shut up shhh go away please" Beca said.

" _No i'm all you have now"_

"Shhh shu shut up get out of my head" Beca shouted holding her hands to her ears shaking her head back and forth.

 _"Why don't you go by a nice pack of razors hey seeing as you were stupid enough to chuck your other one away you will always need it Beca always"_

"No i won't i do i...don't need it"

 _"YES YOU DO"_

"NO" Beca shouted but it wasn't ceasing the voice.

 _"Cut, cut cut"_

"No" Said Beca

 _"Cut"_

"No..please" Beca pleaded.

 _"CUT"_

"No...i don't wan't to" Beca said as she sank to the ground tears now falling down her face.

 _"Yes you do..go on it will be okay noone will even notice let alone care it will make you feel heaps better...i will always be here Beca helping you"_

"No no no no pleease" Beca said starting to have difficulty breathing.

 _"Listen to me Beca you're worthless this will help okay just do it i promise it will make you feel better"_

"Promise" Beca asked deafted.

 _"I promise"_

So Beca regained some of her composer and headed towards her dorm room when she got there she found Kimmy Jin on her computer doing what seemed to be an assignment so Beca quietly tried to collect her toiletries for her shower making sure she had her razors in her bag.

"Oh hey Beca haven't seen you for a while you okay" Kimmy Jin asked turning after she spoke taking in Becas ragged appearance but she waited to see if the girl would tell her what was wrong.

"Hi sorry to disturb you and yeah im okay thanks everything is good how about you classes going okay" Beca asked trying to mask that anything was wrong _don't burden anymore people with your worthlessness_ she only asked how you were out of courtesy.

"Yeah they're fine thanks...sure you're okay Beca" Kimmy Jin asked concerned.

"Yeah why wouldn't i be" Beca asked defensively don't fuck up okay just do what i said it will all be better soon.

"No reason just you looked like you've been crying" Kimmy Jin asked softly.

"Oh hay fever seems to be getting to me now" Beca said which wasn't a total lie she did have hay fever but it wasn't that bad.

"The pollen count is low for today but okay" Kimmy Jin replied not quite believing the girl but let it slide.

"Well im off to the showers so i'll see you later" beca said and left before Kimmy Jin could say anything else.

* * *

Chloe was in her dorm with Aubrey they were having study time Aubrey's idea she said that an hour or more of studying was good and helped gain further knowledge of the criteria in classes.

They had been studying for around forty five minutes when Chloe's phone rang.

"Hello" Chloe said.

"Who is it Aubrey mouthed"

"What did you...okay thanks bye". Chloe said. "That was Kimmy Jin she said Beca came into the dorm looking as if she had been crying and acted a bit defensive when she asked how she was said she headed to the showers and was worried she would do something stupid".

"Wha shit really" Aubrey said standing up heading towards the door Chloe following in suit.

"Yeah come on hurry up" Chloe said so they headed towards the showers hoping everything would be okay.

 **(trigger warning another one)**

Beca was stood in the shower holding the razor and picking at the sharp blade it held finally it was released and she held it in her hands remembering the feeling of the cool metal between her fingers.

 _"Do it"_

Without hesitation she brought it down to her wrist dragging the metal across the feeling was almost nostalgic she watched as the blood dripped on to the tile floor. drip, drip, drip.

" _Go on do some more that's it"_

Beca began to make more cuts on her writs finding some old scars to go over tears formed inb her eyes.

 _"That's it keep doing it you will feel heaps better and you are getting what you deserve for being a worthless piece of shit..wait how about you end it all okay noone will care Aubrey will get her captaincy back Jesse will be rid of you the Bellas won't have to pretend to like you and care about you Chloe will most probably celebrate need i go on"_

Beca shook her head sliding down to the tiled floor sobbing.

 _"Oh your dad he will be so happy to have his shameful daughter dead he and his colleagues will laugh he will be free of you and Sheila ha the 'step-monster' she would've wondered why she even bothered to call the ambulance the first time she will burn your stuff she hates you like everyone just do it you worthless piece of shit DO IT"_

"Okay just shut up shut up shut up SHUT UP" Beca shouted bringing the blade to her other wrist repeating her actions.

Chloe and Aubrey were running to the shower block they opened the door and heard Beca shout hurrying they rushed in searching for the cubical she was, in luckily it was noon so most people where either in lesson out for lunch or studying for some reason noone really showered at this time.

"Beca" Aubrey said as she opened the shower door shocked to see the brunette so broken. "Chloe" Aubrey shouted Chloe hurried over feeling the pin prick of tears at her eyes as she saw beca shaking and muttering to herself.

"Beca can you hear me" Aubrey asked Beca looked up into her eyes they were not there usual deep blue they were gray, sad and broken.

"I...i..i didn't ...want to hon...honest...i...i'm so...rry please...please i..." Beca said her voice breaking as she spoke.

"Beca shhh its okay lets get you cleaned up okay" Aubrey said as she moved closer to Beca, but she stopped as she saw Beca begin to mutter again.

''Chlo" Aubrey asked as the red head returned with a towel. "Why is she muttering to herself" Chloe shrugged her shoulders and knelt down infront of the brunette.

"Hey Beca you okay" She asked Stupid question yes but she needed to ask"

"Make it stop please..tell them to stop i don't like it i..don..." Beca said but the voice started to get louder she shook her head trying to rid of the voices that where taunting her.

"What Beca make who stop" She asked.

"They told me to to this it making it all better i need to finish i'm gonna finish i need to end it please i.." Beca said as she gripped harder at the blade in her hand.

 _"Awe look they came to watch you to make sure you do it they are so sweet aren't they now do it okay just rid them of the burden you are"_

"OKAY" Beca shouted startling Chloe and Aubrey watching as she began to bring the blade towards her arm Chloe quickly reached for it trying to take it out her hand.

"No..no plea...se.. let me do this i need to they will leave me then don..t stop me you will celebrate you will" Beca said reciting some of what was said to her,

"No Beca give us the blade okay please" Aubrey said as she tried to help Chloe.

After a short while of trying to get the blade they succeeded Beca tried to reach for it again but her arm barley moved.

"please giv...e it back...im a worthless piece of shit i deserve it pleaa..se" Beca said as she began to cry.

"Beca shhh its okay how about we clean you up and you come back to mine and Aubrey's dorm and rest up yeah and if you want you can talk to us we will listen to whatever it is okay" Chloe said and moved forward when Beca nodded.

"You are not a worthless piece of shit Beca honest i wouldn't lie to you" Aubrey said looking into her eyes as she said it so Beca knew she was telling the truth.

"But they said..." The brunette started.

Aubrey cut her off. "Well they are wrong don't listen to them we care about you, whoever said those harsh things that made you do this now don't okay" Beca merely nodded as she let them clean her up some of the cuts were rather deep so they wrapped a towel around them and Becas dressing ground around her.

Beca tried to stand but felt to tired so Aubrey lifted her up in her arms and carried her to there dorm Beca wasn' all that heavy so it wasn't hard carrying her the medium length distance to the dorm, placing Beca on the bed they tended to her wounds taking care not to hurt her when they finished Chloe grabbed some fresh clothes for her to put on.

"Will you be able to put these on by yourself or do you want us to help" Chloe asked Beca who was still wrapped in her dressing gown.

"MMmm" beca asked sleepily she felt so tired she just wanted to sleep now and to be honest she didn't even know what Chloe said.

"I guess we help" Aubrey said as she walked over to Beca putting on her underwear as Chloe put a sweatshirt on her she then put sweatpants on and placed a blanket over her.

"Bree i told her to call me...if she ever felt like she...needed to you you know.." Chloe drifted off Aubrey nodded knowing what Chloe was trying to say she tucked a strand of hair that was behind her ear.

"Should we call Jesse and her dad" Chloe said.

"Yeah call Jesse and i'll call her dad" Aubrey said and they both got on with the task at hand.

Jesse was with Sebastian he had called him after he couldn't get hold of Beca.

"I'm sorry i said we can take things slow...i..i" Jesse said he messed up he should've made sure that she knew they could take things as slow as she wanted.

"It's okay Jesse its not your fault let's just concentrate on finding her" Sebastian said patting the boy on the shoulder he was worried about what his daughter was doing yes he knew she said she didn't need it anymore but he was still worried she would go back to doing it again.

Half an hour went by and still they hadn't found her then both their phones rang answering them they turned to one another knowing they were hearing the same thing both running over to Chloe's dorm.

"What...wheres Beca where..." Sebastian said as he entered the dorm room looking across the room to see beca falling asleep on the bed rushing over to her side and stroking her forehead.

"What happened did...did she.." Jesse asked hoping she didn't and was only like this because of exhaustion.

"Yeah i...i'm sorry Kimmy Jin called saying she didn't look good and was worried said she headed to the showers...so we went to go check and she...she you...i'm sorry" Chloe said beginning to tear up.

"What happened Jesse" Aubrey asked placing a comforting hand in Chloe's giving it a squeeze.

"I..i...honestly don't know she got upset...we were making out and i could tell she was worried she was saying she was ready...i didn't believe her i told her we can take things as slow as she wanted...she was crying so i was hugging her then...she said she was a waste of time..i." Jesse said trying not to break down.

Beca had fallen asleep Sebastian was still stroking her forehead which was lulling her to sleep she was unaware that her father and Jesse where there she didn't even know where she was.

"She said she was done with this she gave me her old blade...i knew she could always buy more and...but she was looked so much better i don't know what was going through her head...thanks for helping her..." Sebastian said removing his had from her forehead to hold her hand and rub soothing circles on the back with his thumb.

"Its okay we couldn't not do anything she's our friend i haven't been much of one lately and i am sorry i truly am i...i wish i was never so stupid wait does she need to go to hospital" Aubrey said as tears ran down her face.

"Its okay Aubrey i forgive you and i know Beca does to and...Beca hates hospitals ever since her mom died she won't set foot in them which was difficult when she broke her arm once she refused to go in i had to bribe her with these headphones she wanted" Sebastian said smiling at the memory.

"Why doesn't she like hospitals i know its none of my business...but" Chloe asked hoping she hadn't crossed a line.

"No it's okay i don't think Beca tells many people why or even much of her past when she was fourteen her mom got sick she thought it was just a bug going round so did Beca and i...i was around often then anyway one day Beca...she came home from school...an..and found her seizing i feel terrible she had to go through that on her own she must of been so scared..." He burst into tears and Jesse placed a comforting hand on his shoulder after he calmed down he continued. "I got a call saying that my ex wife had been taken into hospital i rushed down to the hospital i lived two hours away wish i lived closer i made it there in an hour breaking so many speed limits must of looked so bad ahaa anyway she had a brain tumor it was benign but still...Beca never smiled the same way again...until she gave me...her you know and now" Sebastian said as he drifted off they stayed in silence until they saw Beca began to stir.

"Beca sweetie" Sebastian said as he stroked her head soothingly.

"Mmmm wha...i h..urt da...ddy da..." Beca mumbled she hurt and ached her head hurt she wanted to sleep.

"Beca do you remember what happened" Chloe asked as she approached the bed Beca was in.

"Mmm wha...t im tired i...ju..st...le..me sleep plea...se" Beca mumbled incoherently.

"Beca we need you to tell us if you remember anything do you know here you are" Jesse asked as he and Aubrey walked over to the bed.

"Why won't...you...le...let me sleep...pleas" Beca said her eyes drifting shut only to open again slightly as her dad shook her gently.

"Beca tell me if you know where you are please" He asked hoping she would.

"I don't...know i want to sleep...daddy i hurt my hea... " She said as she tiredly lifted her arm wincing as she did.

"Careful Beca you will have sore arms...for a while can you remember anything" Aubrey asked worryingly.

"Voices...they did it not me...i didn't...wan...to honest they..made me i wan...sleep plea..se" Beca said as her eyes drifted shut.

"Beca open your eyes please" Sebastian said as he shook her gently but she didn't her breathing was little shallow they all started to worry.

"She's still breathing so that's good right we just take her to the hospital to be safe...hopefully it's just exhaustion" Jesse said as Sebastian nodded and carefully lifted Beca into his arms and carried her towards his car.

Gently placing Beca in the car he buckled her in and Jesse, Aubrey and Chloe followed in suit they arrived at the hospital half an hour later and headed inside.

"Can someone help please" Sebastian said as he carried a still sleeping Beca well he hoped only sleeping.

"What happened" Asked a nurse as she brought over a gurney Sebastian gently placed Beca onto it.

"She well...well...um" Jesse tried to say but he couldn't he was worried sick they all were.

"We got a call...fr..from her room mate...saying she didn't...look good...so we looked for her we found her...in the showers.. ...she" Chloe said her voice starting to break.

"She hurt herself...she...said they tol...told her to do it..." Aubrey said with tears in her eyes.

The nurse noticed the bandages on the small girls arms. "Okay what we are gonna do is check her vitals and her wounds then we will see where that gets us okay are you the father" Sebastian nodded.

"okay if you would like to follow me, i will come back for you guys when we are done okay if you could wait in the room through there say sent you..it's the doctors lounge much better than the waiting room" Then she headed off down the corridor with Beca and her dad in tow, the others slowly headed towards the lounge saying who sent them there they then sat on the sofa hoping all would be okay.

Her head hurt and her arms were so sore wincing as she opened her eyes which felt so heavy she heard muffled voices she couldn't tell whose they were she didn't even know where she was trying again more slowly she opened her eyes things were a little blurry she could vaguely make out five figures standing in the room, the voices began to get a little clearer.

"Mmmm...wha.." Beca croaked her throat felt raw why was it raw am i in hospital she thought.

"Beca Beca are you okay stupid question but are you" Sebastian asked, beca squinted slightly her vision becoming clearer seeing it was her dad talking to her.

"Daddy...where are we" She asked looking around her wincing as it caused a sharp pain to shoot through her head.

"You are in hospital sweetie you will probably have a headache for a while you have a mild concussion" He said as he grasped her hand which she held on as tight she could which wasn't very due to her weakened state.

"Hi Beca i'm but call me Dr.B please, do you remember what happened earlier" asked nicely.

"I...They said to...do..it" Beca said quietly avoiding eye contact with anyone in the room.

"Who told you to and what did they tell you to do" DR.B asked.

tears rolled down Becas cheeks. "The voices they...they told me to cut...noone cares about me they hate me...they said it would make everything better...they said to do it do it...so i did they wouldn't shut up i told them to...they just...i am a worthless piece of shit" Beca said crying as she said what happened her father rubbed her arm soothingly.

"Do you always hear voices Beca". Asked DR.B hoping the answer was no.

"No..i used to then they went away...but they came back...really mean they wouldn't go" Beca said. "I tried to make them go but...they would they ..wouldn't honest daddy daddy honest believe me i i" Beca cried, noone in the room had a dry eye seeing the brunette so vulnerable and scared broke each of their hearts.

"I believe you honey i do i really do its okay" He said as he leaned into to hug her she returned the hug best she could.

"I wanna go home...can we go home please" Beca said she wanted to leave go to sleep and wake up and get on with college and the Bella's.

"I'm sorry but we would like to keep you here...i'm sorry beca it should only be for one night but i can't promise you anything a psychologist will be ere soon to have a talk with you see if you need therapy" Dr.B said apologetically.

"But i want to go home i don't want to stay i don't want therapy let me go home please" Beca said begging she hated it here she felt like she couldn't breathe every smell reminded her of that day it hurt to much still it always will hurt.

"I'm sorry but you have to stay it should only be for one night your friends are welcome to stay i can bring a cot in only one i'm afraid" DR.B said trying to make the poor girl better.

"Thank you" Jesse said to which the doctor smiled at him.

"Fine...but im not happy about this i really don't want to stay i would walk out but i'm to tired to move" Beca said as she yawned.

"I'll let you get some rest i will be seeing you later bye" and with that the doctor left the room they stayed in silent for a while noone knowing what to say.

"Soo..." Chloe started breaking the silence.

"They were so loud i'm sorry" Beca said Jesse walked over tothe other side of her and held her hand in his.

"Its okay Becs we still and always will love you no matter what anyone else says they don't know anything" Jesse said leaving no room for argument, Beca just nodded tears falling down her cheeks.

"thanks for you...you know" Beca said looking over to Chloe and Aubrey.

"No problem...always here for you..you know that right" Aubrey said to which Beca meekly nodded.

"And remember call next time i don't care whether its late at night or early morning i will be there whether its just a chat over the phone or a cuddle" Chloe said continuing with. "We all are here for you"

Beca nodded believing them even though a faint voice was telling her not to but she ignored it they sat in a content silence her dad and Jesse by her side in the chairs, Chloe and Aubrey on the cot that a nurse brought in for them, the silence was broken by Dr.B and another person entering the room.

"Hi this is the psychologist" DR.B said, was a tall man who looked to be in his late to mid forties.

"Hi please call me Richie" He said. "I will need to speak with Beca alone please then i will need to talk to all of you together so if it would be okay could you step out of the room please" Richie said so the others rather reluctantly left but Beca didn't want them to go.

"No please can they stay...please i don't want them to go do they have to" Beca asked not feeling right without them.

"I'm afraid so they will be outside the room if you need them they can come in quickly okay i can't promise this talk will be short" richie said as Beca nodded sadly.

"Okay so how about we start with you telling me a bit about yourself" He asked Beca stayed silent for a while not wanting to talk to him.

"You first" She whispered barely being heard.

"Pardon i couldn't quite hear you" Richie said.

"You first" She replied louder this time, she would give him something if he delivered first only fair.

"Okay well as you know my name is ichie well i prefer that to Richard anyway i am forty six years old i have two children a girl who is twenty and a boy who is twenty eight" He said Beca nodded slowly.

"My name is Beca always been called it...i am eighteen my first year in college i wanna be a dj but i'm not good enough..." She said avoiding eye contact.

"Okay why do you think you are not good enough" He asked, writing notes in his book.

"Cause im not good im shit" Beca said looking into his eyes, she was repeating what the voices were saying to her they were getting louder and harder to ignore.

"I bet you're not" He said. "Enjoying college"

"I wasn't then i was then...and now i don't know" She said looking away sadly.

"Its okay its a big change college why didn't you like it first off" He asked.

"I had no friends then i got arrested...daddy was mad..i didn't mean for it to happen hon...honest i i um...ah anyway then i got friends then i messed up so much big time im such a fuck up i ruin everything i lost friends and it hurt then i got hit she hit me...i made her mad again i deserved it i guess then...i ran away they looked for me they found me...i avoided her...she said sorry made me captain they love the new mix and routine...now i i" Beca said drifting off towards the end Richie listened the enitre five minutes it took for her to tell him this.

"Who hit you, you didn't deserve it she said sorry which is good" He said jotting down more notes.

"the girl with the blonde hair she was captain now i am she was better she is better" Beca said why won't they shut up they were making her head hurt even more she brought up a hand to rub her head it did nothing to help.

"You okay" Richie asked he thought she looked a little off but chose not to comment at the moment.

"Yeah fine" She responded shifting slightly.

"Okay so tell me more about your friends the people who are waiting for you outside now" He asked.

"daddy is daddy, Aubrey is the blonde she is nice now strict cardio obsessed she still wants at least an hour and a half of cardio it does help with breathing though, Chloe the red head she was my first friend here she is funny um and Jesse my boyfriend i think i ran away from him i got scared" Beca said looking down at her hands.

"Why were you scared" He asked hoping there was no underline issue there, he also wondered if she intentionally says daddy or if its a habbit.

"I will fuck up i wanted to make love to him im not ready he seemed ready i wanted to please him i didn't want him to leave me so i left no reasons...he said we can take things as slow as you need...then i i juat ran i i" Beca said starting to cry, great cry baby you fail the one simple task of ending it you are such a fuck up when you are left alone better still make them leave okay then end it end it you will feel better they will feel better okay.

"Shut up shut up shuut up" Beca whispered wanting them to be quiet even if it was just for a little while.

"I'm sorry" Richie said starting to worry.

"Nothing sorry" Beca said turning her attention to Richie.

"well can you tell me what happened when and after you ran please" He asked beca stared at the wall ahead of her he thought she wasn't going to say anything he was about to talk when she spoke.

"They told me to worthless piece of shit end it do it they wont shut up cut cut cut CUT SHUT UP SHUT UP please shut up" Beca said as she held hands over her ears.

"Beca Beca" Richie called Beca turned to look at him removing her hands from her ears so she hear him. "You hear voices" he asked he guessed yes but he needed clarification.

Beca stayed silent they were screaming in her head so loud it hurt she wanted it to be quiet why couldn't it be quiet.

"Beca i need you to tell me please do you hear voices" He asked again.

"Yes i do not all the time they went away for ages now they wont shut up they are screaming at me please make it quiet pleases" Beca cried. "I want Jesse please please bring them back in please" She begged he quickly walked over to the door seeing the small group quickly stand to their feet he told them what had happend quickly and they followed him in Jesse brought her into his arms which she sank into.

"Its okay shhh abby shhh i love you you're okay now its alright" He said soothingly gently rocking her back and forth she soon fell asleep he gently laid her back down but she grabbed his arm.

"Stay don't go com...e..bed here lay" She said sleepily so he climbed into bed with her.

* * *

 **another chapter sorry its all like ahhh i feel as though beca wasn't fully better and she got overwhelmed and yeah...yeah kommisar has not been in it for a while we will see her again at some point...and Beca does not have schizophrenia just hears the harsh voices be strong if you do or have any problems in general...review please appreciated deeply and favourtie follow if you want to hope you liked the chapter byeeeeeeeeeee until next time**


	18. Chapter 18

**Another chapter, thanks for all the favourites and follows greatly appreciated. I did do research for this you will find out why when you read it if it is wrong i apoligise...sorry i'm a terrible person but i seriously am sorry. also TRIGGER WARNING just incase i don't know where they would be so if you think they should be somewhere please let me know and i will add it in there.**

 **hope you enjoy this chapter xxx**

* * *

Beca had been asleep for around an hour and Richie had filled her family and friends in on what happened, he had the room half an hour ago to consult with another doctor about Beca. Everyone else stayed silent Sebastian had left to go get the group some coffee Chloe was holding one of Beca's hand minding the IV in her hand, and Jesse was still layed next to her fulfilling her request.

Sebastian walked in with the group's coffee, the sound of the door shutting caused Beca to stir slowly she opened her eyes and saw Jesse was still with her, she smiled tightly and snuggled deeper into him as he wrapped his arm around her.

"Beca, feeling any better now" Aubrey asked, hoping the small girl was she rather liked the girl yes she got on her nerves but she always kept her on her feet.

"Yes thanks, you guys are still here none of you left" Beca said, surprised they stayed does this mean they do love me.

 _"Of course not they are only pretending_ , it's all an act to all the doctors _and all"_ , the voice in her head whispered.

Jesse tucked a strand of hair behind her ear which had fallen in her face.

"I love you" He whispered so only she could hear, Beca saw the truth in his eyes and kissed him on the lips.

"Awe, you guys are so sweet but glad you're okay Becs whoop" Chloe said, earning a weird look from Sebastian to which she just smiled awkwardly.

"Ahh, you're awake we have your results from the talk with the psychiatrist" DR.B said, looking down to her clipboard. "I see in the past this incident has happened before" She said, looking back at Beca turning to her father.

"Yeah, a while ago she was sixteen" Sebastian said, Aubrey and Chloe both gasped a little as they looked at Beca who avoided their gazes while Jesse just held her closer.

"Okay, did she ever say why and I see she had therapy but she stopped going any reason why not that you have to go after the required amount of sessions which Beca nearly fulfilled, sorry about the questions but, i have to ask them" DR.B said, as she perched at the end of Beca's bed.

"It's okay, I don't know Beca never said why and her therapist wasn't nice and only made it worse so I said she didn't have to go anymore" Sebastian said, that therapist was probably from a white picket fence happy family who had no troubles, and saw black and white.

"Okay, okay well well to the results we think Beca may have PTSD" DR.B said, Beca wore an emotionless expression before she spoke.

"I don't have that, I don't i'm fine PTSD is if you had a traumatic experience like war or something" Beca said, she refused to believe she had PTSD.

 _"Well you are nutso so"_ the voice in her head taunted.

"Beca, you found your mom having a seizure on the floor that's a pretty traumatic experience and you were fourteen, having PTSD does not make you a mad person if that's what you are wondering" DR.B comforted, this helped Beca a little well she wasn't nuts atleast.

"Fine you're not nuts, a lost cause is what you are" Taunted the voice, why wouldn't it just leave her alone.

"Is that why i hear them" Beca whispered, which Jesse picked up on.

"It's okay, don't worry we can make them go away they speak rubbish about you" He said, into her ear so only she could hear it warmed her heart to hear him say that.

"Is there anything you can do to help or" Sebastian said, hoping there was he wanted his daughter to be her old self again.

"She will have to take some medication, and attend therapy three times a week" DR.B said, Beca paled at the thought of therapy.

"NO" Beca shouted, making the people in the room stare at her.

"I'm not going to therapy please don't make me go, daddy please she can't make me go tell her" Beca cried, why therapy was this punishment for what she did.

"See, you should've ended it when i told you to but did you listen" the voice said exasperatedly.

"I should of ended it when i had the chance" Beca cried, repeating the voices words she fet the voice smile at her evilly.

"Beca, you don't mean that you know how distraught we would be if you had ended it" Chloe said, she placed a comforting hand on Beca's shoulders.

"If i ended it before college, you wouldn't have my burden" She cried back, if she succeeded the first time they wouldn't have had to deal with her.

"Then we would, never have met such an amazing person" Aubrey said, joining Chloe.

"And I would not have an amazing girlfriend" Jesse said, holding her close to him as she cried.

"But.." Beca cried, but she was cut off by her father.

"And i would have lost my daughter, my only baby who love deeply" He said, they all surrounded Beca in a group hug as she cried DR.B stood back and watched the group tearing up herself, she felt so bad that someone could lose so much hope and believe that people despised her, when all they showed to her was love and affection.

"Please don't make me go, I don't want to" Beca whispered, as they pulled out of the hug.

"If it makes you feel better, you can have someone in the room with you during the sessions" DR.B said, it was allowed if the patient felt safe with a certain person or in Becas case genuinely scared.

"Okay can Jesse come please" Beca said, Jesse said he would go with her if that was okay Mr Mitchell agreed and said he would like to be informed how each session went.

Dr.B went to go get Becas medication she was to be put on antidepressants for two months to see if it helped along with three months of therapy the first month being three times a week then going down to twice a week, if more therapy was needed they would go on another month but once a week and continue on with the antidepressants.

"Can I go home now" Beca asked, she wanted her own bed her own covers her own pillows, she wanted to leave.

"I'll just go check you should be able to go" DR.B said, as she left the room to go check, she returned five minutes later with another nurse.

"You are allowed to leave, but we just need to check your arms first" Dr.B said, as the nurse got to work cutting the dressing off her arms.

Beca looked at the damage she had done, Jesse held her hand while the nurse checked them and cleaned her wounds after she redressed them Dr.B handed over the release forms and soon enough Beca was ready to leave.

* * *

"So one of these before every meal" Jesse read, as he handed Beca her first dose of medication she didn't feel any different yet, but was told it can take a while for it lick in.

"Yeeey" Beca said, sarcastically as she took the pill from Jesse and swallowed it with water, taking a bite of the sandwich he made her. He makes such good sandwiches she thought as she swallowed the deliciousness.

"So, you got Bella's practice later" Jesse asked, he had a Treble practice later so he wondered if Beca would have something to do while he was gone.

"Yeah, we are gonna work more on the routine so when we kick your guys' butt it will be sore for days" Beca said, playfully thumping Jesse on the arms.

"Wow, I think my butt will be okay your lot should be worried about theirs cause our routine is just boom" Jesse said, him and Beca continued to play around until they had to go to practice.

Practice was going well they had gone through one hour and a half already half of which had been cardio by Aubrey's request, the other half working on the set list they still had some work to do on that and to polish their dance routine with it as Aubrey would say.

"Hey, Beca" Kommissar said, as she sat next to Beca. Beca had invited Kommissar to watch their practices so she would know what to expect next year that and she was lovely to be around.

"Hey, how've you been haven't seen you in a while" Beca said, most part being she was with Jesse and in the hospital even though that was just a day.

"I haven't seen you either, I visited my dad for a few days just to see how he and the family was doing and they are okay before you ask" Kommissar said, Beca rolled her eyes playfully.

"Good to hear" Beca said, the Bella's knew what had happened the day before she wore long sleeves to hide her bandages, and also requested a change in uniform not only to hide the scars that would be there when her bandages came off but, their uniforms were outdated they were not flight attendants, luckily they all agreed,

"Okay guys, let's go again from the top" Beca said, and they were soon back to practicing their routine.

* * *

Beca was snuggled next to Jesse having got off the phone with her father who called to see how she was doing, and she was doing fine if she was honest with herself.

"Want to watch a movie" Jesse said, goofy.

"As long as it is not some romantic garbage then yes I do" Beca said, smiling at him innocently.

"Awesome, Million Dollar Baby it is" Jesse said, setting up the movie.

Soon enough they were snuggled in his bed watching the movie, with a popcorn bowl perched on Jesses lap, thankfully Benji was out he had to go see his mom about a horse or something, Beca was rather enjoying the movie she liked how Maggie continued to pursue what she aspired to do.

"Beca, Beca wake up" Jesse said, shaking her slightly she had fallen asleep during the last ten minutes of the movie which was the best part but, they could always watch it again.

"Mmm, what" Beca said, as she rubbed her eyes she was having a rather nice sleep. Dreamless.

"You fell asleep, i didn't know whether you wanted to go back to your dorm, or something you are welcome to stay here if you want and if you don't want to go to your dorm to get your pjs, i can lend you a shirt" Jesse said, Beca chose the latter not wanting to leave his side he turned away as Beca changed and when she was done they both crawled back into the covers.

"This is nice, i stay here forever" Beca said, sleepily.

'Sure if you want to, i'm not complaining" Jesse said, as he straked her behind the ear.

Beca began to drift off, finding what Jesse was doing soothing it made her more tired she began to fall into a slumber.

"I love you" Jesse whispered, as he kissed her forehead.

"I love you too" She replied back sleepy.

* * *

 **Hope you enjoyed it, i don't know if i gave Beca an age for her first attempt so i gave an age i went over the old chapters to see and couldn't find anything...please review appreciated**


	19. Chapter 19

**A chapter guys...yaaaay sorry college and all so much course work seriously 4 lots due in for the next 2 weeks I haven't even finished half of it urghhh oh well I tried I'm a procrastinator to so that doesn't help ah enjoy the chapter.**

* * *

Jesse woke to Beca stirring, a look of discomfort etched across her face hearing a whimper from her Jesse sat up and gently shook her on the shoulder.

"Beca, baby wake up" Jesse whispered not wanting to startle her awake.

"No no, I'm sorry I will get it right next time" Beca whimpered in her sleep.

"Beca it's okay wake up," Jesse said a little louder this time.

"Go away shut up please...no..no," Beca said, she sounded so alone Jesse thought.

"Beca honey it's okay just wake up for me please," Jesse said, shaking her a little harder this time.

"Please don't make me...I don't want to...no..please" Beca cried, Jesse was starting to get worried she wouldn't wake up so as much as he regretted to do so he shouted at her to wake up.

"BECA WAKE UP" Jesse shouted, Beca shot up breathing hard.

"No,no please no...shhu shut up" Beca whimpered shaking.

"Baby, it's okay come here," Jesse said pulling Beca in close for a hug.

Beca leant into him tears rolling down her face.

"I'm..I'm sorry" Beca whispered, why am I so pathetic she thought.

"Hey, hey it's okay it's okay don't worry shh shh" Jesse soothed rubbing small circles on her back.

"It's not okay..it's..it's" Beca just completely broke down all her pent up emotions flooding out.

"Beca hey, it's okay don't worry you have done nothing wrong you hear me nothing, you have nothing to be sorry about," Jesse said, gently rocking her back and forth.

Beca cried into Jesse's shoulder for what felt like hours until her cries ceased and only silent tears falling down her cheeks were left.

"I..I I didn't mean to wake you sorry," Beca said looking into Jesse's eyes.

"Nothing to be sorry about, what was it..was it," Jesse asked, he had never thought when he first met Beca that she would have a breakdown like this.

"I..I don't know it felt so real so so real kill yourself, die, your fault, go away, shh shut up, die," Beca said, staring past Jesse.

Jesse pulled Beca closer to him. "Just a bad bad dream it was not real your safe okay" Jesse said, laying them both down in the bed pulling the covers over them.

"Yeah..really okay okay I..I..I um" Beca said, she couldn't get out the words she wanted to say, she wanted to tell him what else happened in the dream that she not only heard but saw her voice she saw herself so ugly she thought.

"Beca it's okay you can tell me anything," He said. stroking her hair.

Taking a breath Beca spoke. "I saw it it was so ugly I I saw the voice not voice person it's real it's there," Beca said, snuggling in closer to Jesse.

"What did it look like," Jesse asked. hugging Beca close to him.

"Me she was..is me so ugly helpless and horrible not shutting up still there never gonna go," Beca said, she wished it would go away her demon was her she is her own monster.

"Hey it is not you okay, it may look like you but it isn't okay sI will help you make it go away," Jesse said, holding Beca closer to him if that was possible.

"Okay, okay" Beca yawned, her eyes drifting shut.

"Love you Becs," Jesse said, watching as she fell back to sleep, she didn't reply but he knew that she loved him too, closing his eyes he too fell into a somewhat comfortable sleep.

* * *

Sunlight seeped through the curtains and Beca opened her eyes slowly sitting up, her head hurting. Looking around the room she saw she was in Jesse and Benji's dorm, Jesse was still asleep beside her.

What happened last night Beca thought she couldn't remember she remembered watching Million Dollar Baby then nothing..did I get drunk...did..did Jesse spike something and give it to her. Beca slowly got out of bed knowing Jesse wouldn't do anything like that do her, she had walked a few steps until a sharp pain ran through her head.

"Ahh" Beca winces, she felt tears pricking her eyes what was that Beca thought.

"Mmm Beca you okay," Jesse asked waking up upon hearing Beca gasp.

"Yeah, I'm fine what happened last night," Beca asked walking over to the chair at Jesse's desk.

"You don't remember," Jesse asked, Beca shook her head regretting it when she did as another sharp pain ran through it.

"You sure you're okay," He asked, worried is she in pain did she hurt herself last night and I didn't know Jesse thought.

"Yeah yeah, just a headache" Beca answered truthfully well a very painful headache she left that bit out, though.

"Okay if you are sure...you had a bad dream you saw your voice you said it was you..it's not though okay it is not you, you said it was saying something about die and kill and shutting up," Jesse said, a look of confusion etched across her face.

"I don't remember anything I remember watching a movie then that's it," Beca said walking over to the bed to lie down.

"You sure you are okay," Jesse asked again, it didn't look like just a headache she looks like she was in pain.

"My head just really hurts it will be okay later only a migraine probably," be said, her eyes drifting shut.

"Okay how about you go back to sleep and I'll go and get some coffee and breakfast anything in particular you want," Jesse asked, gently stroking Becas forehead she felt a bit warm so he went into his draw and got the thermometer.

"What..what you doing," Beca asked, confused to why he had a thermometer in his hand.

"Just gonna take your temperature you feel a bit warm," Jesse said as he placed the thermometer in her ear.

"Okay," Beca said, her eyes heavy.

The thermometer beeped 100.3 Fahrenheit okay you got a fever I'll get you water instead okay, do you want me to stay I can get someone else to get breakfast" Jesse said, stroking Becas arm now he was closer he saw she looked a little pale.

"No..no..it's okay you go..I'll be okay," Beca said, drifting off to sleep.

Jesse kissed her on the head deciding to stay with her he called her father to bring up breakfast and something for Beca also wanting to inform him that Beca wasn't well, but not mentioning last night deciding that was up to Beca.

"Hello, Mr Mitchell speaking," Sebastian said.

"Hey, Sebastian" Jesse spoke into the phone.

"Hey, Jesse what's up," Sebastian asked.

"Beca isn't feeling well she said she has a headache and she has a fever of 100.3 I was wondering if you could bring us up some water and breakfast I don't really want to leave her she is sleeping right now," Jesse said.

"Yeah sure no problem anything, in particular, you want," Sebastian asked, he hoped Beca was okay.

"Anything is good thanks" Jesse replied, thanking Sebastian before hanging up the phone and getting in bed next to Beca stroking her head soothingly.

Jesse was beginning to nod off when a knock sounded at the door getting up to answer it careful not to wake Beca up who had been asleep for half an hour.

"Hi, thanks again," Jesse said as he let Sebastian in.

"No problem, awe Beca," Sebastian said he saw how pale she looked.

"I am guessing she has a migraine she was wincing her head hurt and she fell asleep not long after waking up," Jesse said, as he gently shook Beca to wake her up.

"Mmm, what " Beca said sleep, why am I so tired she thought.

"Here drink this it's water," Jesse said, helping Beca sit up slightly to have a drink, Beca carefully sipped at the water having enough after seven sips.

"Okay, how you feeling," Jesse asked, hoping she felt better even though he thought she looked worse.

"I hurt and I'm really warm and my head is killing me," Beca said, tiredly, noticing her father was in the room she moved her hand to him. "Daddy what you do..doing here".

"Jesse phoned asking me to get some breakfast he didn't want to leave you alone," Sebastian said, placing a kiss on his daughter's head.

Beca smiled slightly thinking it was sweet that Jesse didn't want to leave her even though she said she felt fine coughing slightly she tried to sit up only to feel a sharp pain in her head.

"Mmm," Beca whimpered as she lay back down. "Can..can you help me please," Beca asked, Jesse helped Beca sit up while Sebastian sorted out the pillows so she could still be comfy.

"Better," Jesse asked, handing her breakfast which was a breakfast burrito.

"I don't feel very hungry," Beca said, looking down at the food on her lap.

"It's okay can you try and eat a little at least then you can have the rest later," Sebastian asked, smiling lightly when Beca said she would, taking the tablet Jesse gave to her.

After two mouthfuls Beca felt she couldn't manage anymore. "I can't eat anymore I'm sorry I just feel really sick," Beca said handing her barely eaten burrito to Jesse.

"Okay, you sure," Jesse asked re-wrapping the burrito and placing it on his desk returning to sit next to Beca.

"Yeah I'm sure,"Beca said, placing her head on his shoulder and closing her eyes.

"Bless her hopefully it's just a bug what we thought with her mother and..it wasn't," Sebastian said, the thought of his late ex-wife bringing a pain to his chest although they divorced they still remained friends well they still argued.

"Yeah I hope so too," Jesse said, they sat in silence for a while until Sebastian said he should go as he had a class soon.

"See you later, give me a ring if anything changes or you need anything," Sebastian asked.

"I will have a good day," Jesse said, as Sebastian placed a kiss on his daughter's head and let himself out, bidding goodbye to Jesse.

* * *

 **there you go a chapter...hope everyone had a good thanksgiving (if you are American or just celebrate it anyway) I am eating popcorn yey I have had like 2 happy meals the past week don't judge me I want a toy. please leave a review on how this is going and goodbye**

 **p.s I got Anna Kendricks new book it is so good omg amazing every insta post i am dying why are you doung this to me aha (I may or may not have a crush on Anna Kendrick shhh)**


	20. not an update

Not an update just wanted to wish you all a merry Christmas and a happy new year.

my laptop has broke (I may have wacked it, my mouth wasn't saying the words I waned right, it was not hard honest) anyway I may lose what I have started on the next chapter. it may be a while till I update next (I am on my mums laptop i may use this to updte my stories when I remeber the bases of the chapter.


	21. Chapter 21

**I'm back...yeaay. sorry it's been a while been busy at college and rehearsing for a show well two shows one way more stressful than the other...*cough* *cough* college one then again it was a musical we were doing bits from different musicals yet we had to connect it all, was fun in the end though everyone did great. On Easter holidays now yeeey so i'm updating while I can and am not busy with course work.**

 **enjoy**

* * *

Beca had been asleep for two hours Jesse hadn't left her side, he wanted to be there in case she woke up, he didn't want her to be on her own.

Beca started to groan in her sleep Jesse noted sweat forming on her head he placed the back of his hand on her forehead and noted she still had a bit of a fever.

"Beca, I'm sorry you're not feeling well," Jesse said as he got up he got the water from his desk and gently shook Beca to wake her up for a drink.

"Beca can you wake up please you gotta drink something," Jesse said quietly so not to have her wake abruptly.

"Mmm," Beca groaned opening her eyes then shutting them again against the harsh light. "To...bri..ght" Beca said yawning.

"It's okay hang on" Jesse got up and pulled down the blinds getting back into bed with Beca as she tried opening her eyes again, this time keeping them open.

"What time is it," Beca asked as Jesse helped her to sit up, to have a drink.

"It is 11:03," Jesse said looking at eh clock on his desk. "How you feeling," Jesse asked as Beca snuggled back into him having had enough water.

"My head still hurts," Beca said, tiredly.

"If it still hurts later we should get it checked out just in case cos you know," Jesse said knowing what happened to Becas mom and what her dad had told him.

"Okay, I just want..." Beca didn't finish her sentence as she yawned and fell back to sleep.

"I'll wake you up later for a bite to eat then," Jesse said as he kissed her forehead. "love you babe," Jesse said as he snuggled them further into the bed and began stroking the brunette's hair.

"Love you too," be said in her sleep.

* * *

Sebastian was walking back to Jesse's dorm wanting to check to see how Beca was hoping she was feeling better and it was just a little bug. Knocking gently on the door her heard shuffling before it opened.

"Hey, Sebastian Becas still asleep," Jesse said letting him in. "I woke her up about an hour ago for a drink she said her head still hurt, I suggested if it still hurt later we should get it checked just to be safe" Jesse said as Sebastian leant down to kiss his daughters head.

"I agree with you Jesse," Sebastian said noting that Beca still had a bit of a fever.

"I hope it's just a bug," Jesse said as he looked down at Becas sleeping form she looked slightly uncounterable but that was to be expected to see as how much she said her head hurt.

Beca started to whimper in her sleep, she slowly started to open her eyes.

"Beca, what's the matter sweetie," Sebastian asked, concern etching his face.

"My head hurts" Beca whimpered her head hurt a lot more than it had done when she first woke up that day.

"Here you want to sit up a bit," Jesse asked, concern was also on his face.

Beca nodded and instantly regretted it when a jolt of pain went to her head.

Beca couldn't stop the tears that were falling from her eyes if she wanted to her head hurt that much, Jesse and Sebastian shared a worried look with each other.

"Should we take her to the hospital" Jesse asked.

"Yes, Jesse if you carry her and I'll grab some blankets," Sebastian said, and with that, they headed to his car.

* * *

They arrived at the hospital twenty minutes later luckily they didn't live far from it and traffic had been on their side, but Beca had thrown up in the car and was still unsurprisingly feeling nauseous.

"Okay, you take Beca and I'll go see if I can get some help," Sebastian said as he ran into the hospital.

Jesse walked in carrying a semi-conscious Beca and was met by a nurse.

"Whats wrong with her," the nurse asked looking over the small brunette in Jesse's arms.

"She's had a bad headache all day and it's started to get worse she has just thrown up on the way here and she had a fever of 100.3 I haven't retaken it yet," Jesse said, punching himself mentally for not rechecking it.

"Okay follow me and we will have a look at her," the nurse said, Jesse and Sebastian followed the nurse to a cubical with a bed as she drew the curtains Jesse laid Beca gently on the bed.

"I'm just going to start by taking her temperature" The nurse said as she pulled out a thermometer and placed it in Becas ear, Beca and in discomfort annoyed by whoever was poking her ear.

"It's okay Beca," Sebastian said taking his daughter's hand.

The thermometer beeped stating it was done. "101.2 gone up we need to get it back down," The nurse said as she left to go get some medicine to bring down Beca temperature.

"I don't feel so good," Beca said as she started to throw up again, just as the nurse came back Sebastian had lifted her up to a sitting position and Jesse was there with the bowl.

"Beca it's okay shhh all done," Sebastian asked as he rubbed soothing circles on her back. Beca nodded slightly and was laid back down on the bed.

"This is just something for your fever okay," The nurse said kindly as she administered an IV and the medicine. "I'm just going to check you over some more is that okay," the nurse asked.

"Okay," Beca said tiredly, she wanted to sleep.

"My names Sara, your names Beca right," The nurse asked making light conversation.

"Yeah," Beca said quietly.

"Who are these people that brought you in" Sara asked.

"My dad and boyfriend," Beca said, watching as the nurse picked up a torch.

"Just going to check your eyes okay," Sara said, seeing Beca nod she proceeded to check her patient's eyes.

"Follow the light please," Sar asked, Beca did as she was told.

"Okay well done Beca," Sara said.

"Can I sleep now?" Beca asked stifling a yawn.

"Not just yet, just got a couple more things to do okay," Sara asked she wasn't surprised beca was tired.

"Okay," Beca said hoping it would be over quickly so she could sleep.

"I'll be back in a moment," Sara said exiting.

"You're doing great Beca," Jesse said, as he walked over to the bed.

"Okay so I have booked you in for a CT scan you'll have to wait half an hour," Sara said, "Is okay if I check your temperature," Sara asked getting the thermometer out.

"Yeah," Beca said, she still felt nauseous and tired.

"100.4, good it's gone down' Sara said, looking at the thermometer. "have you eaten anything today," Sara asked.

"Do you want me to message Chloe Beca and let her know what's happening" Jesse asked.

"Please, she is probably already tried to call me," Beca said, so Jesse left the room quickly to call Chloe to fill her in on what's happening.

"Oh, if she asks to come well if she says she is coming over do you want her to" Jesse asked knowing that Chloe was just about as stubborn as Beca at times.

"Yeah she can come, can't stop her anyway," Beca said, closing her eyes as a wave of nausea overcame her.

"You alright Beca, you gonna be sick again," Sebastian asked as he got a clean bowl just in time before Beca was sick.

Jesse walked in just as Sara was taking the bowl from Sebastian to dispose of.

"Chloe said she will be here in about twenty minutes or sooner if she can," Jesse said as he walked over to Beca.

"Okay time for your scan Beca, you two can wait here sorry that you won't be allowed in," Sara said as she but the sides of the bed up and wheeled Beca out.

"Hope it's nothing just a bad headache" Jesse said, more to himself than to Sebastian.

"She's a fighter she never spoke much after you know she never opened up and when I found her that day," Sebastian said stopping to take a breath. "I felt like I hadn't one enough I'm her father how could I have not noticed she was hurting that bad, I will never forget that moment"

"What happened at you know," Jesse said, knowing how Beca had hated that place.

"She didn't want to go she looked like she did when I left her and her mom, she called me when she could pleading with me to take her home, she even snuck out at night to call me that got her into trouble she wasn't allowed to call me for a week after that but she still snuck out to call me not that they ever found out" Sebastian said smiling a little ant his daughters sneakiness. "When I first visited I was told that she would beg for me to take her home and that it was normal and should tell her how she needed help, well after she kept on pleading nd telling me what they were saying to her I couldn't let her stay there, she wasn't so bad after that I admit I wrapped her in cotton wool and that led to many arguments after awhile I laid off and it was not so bad" Sebastian said, proud of how his daughter had overcome so much yeah she had many set backs but she was a strong one she got that from her mother he thought.

"Jesse," A voice said, before being followed by a redhead entering the cubical. "Wheres Beca" Chloe asked seeing no bed and more importantly no Beca.

"She's just gone for a CT scan," Jesse said, as the Chloe took a seat.

"You guys want anything to drink coffee, soda or even a snack," Sebastian asked, needing to have a walk to clear his mind before Beca came back.

"I'm okay thanks," Jesse said, he couldn't eat right now.

"No thanks I'm good," Chloe said, worried about Beca. "Whats up with Beca Jesse," Chloe asked as Sebastian left.

"Not sure she woke up with a headache and a fever this morning she has mostly slept through the day, I woke her up tor some drink and she said her head still hurt, then she went back to sleep and her father came by to check on her she woke up whimpering and said her head still hurt so we brought her here she was sick on the way and through up twice here" Jesse said not even breathing until he was done.

"Hope it's nothing serious," Chloe said.

Half an hour later Beca was wheeled back in and Sara asked Sebastian to come out the room with her for a talk, whilst Jesse and Chloe were left with a sleeping Beca.

* * *

 **There it is hope you enjoyed it please review**


	22. Chapter 22

**Hey...Finally got another chapter, I couldn't think of what to do nearly everything seemed anticlimatic..(not that I don't like anticlimactic things) anyway hope you enjoy this chapter and sorry about the wait. xoxoxo**

* * *

"Do you think she'll be okay," Chloe asked worryingly.

"Yeah, I'm sure whatever the out come is she'll be okay," Jesse replied giving Chloe a small smile.

Chloe nodded slightly tucking a strand of hair behind Becas ear, Beca moved her head slightly as her eyes fluttered open.

"Hey," Beeca said tiredly.

"How you feeling," Jesse asked taking her hand and stroking the back of it with his thumb.

"My head still hurts a bit and I'm tired still," Beca said yawning slightly.

They fell into a comfortable silence, after about ten minutes Sebastian and Sara.

"So whats the matter with me," Beca asked quietly that it was almost inaudible.

"You have an intracranial," Sara said.

"Whats that," Jesse asked confused.

"Its the medical term for brain aneurysms," Sara replied.

"Is it ruptured or?" Chloe asked hoping it wasn't.

"Thankfully it is not ruptured but, and it's at low risk of rupturing so we don't need to treat it, although we would like to have regular check-ups to make sure everything is okay and that the chance of rupture hasn't risen," Sara said, Beca nodded slightly

'What about the headaches is there anything you can do about that," Sebastian asked, he could see his daughter was still in discomfort.

"Asprin will be okay," Sara answered, there was a beep Sara looked down to see her pager went off and said goodbye.

"Well," Beca said.

"You feeling better," Sebastian asked walking over to Becas side.

"A bit but I feel exhausted and my head still hurts a bit," Beca said.

"Well I'm gonna go see if we can leave then you can get to bed," Sebastian said, as he turned to leave.

"Dad...," Beca called out.

"Yeah," He asked turning back towards her.

"Ca..ca..is it alright if I um..if I stay with you tonight please," Beca asked looking up to meet his eyes.

"Of corse it is Beca," He said as he walked over and kissed her on the forehead, he then left the cubicle to see if they could leave.

"Chloe can you let everyone know rehearsals tomorrow are rescheduled to three till five," Beca asked, Chloe, nodded and took out her phone to message the Bellas.

"Hey, glad you're feeling better," Jesse said, as he lent down to kiss Beca on the head.

"So am I," Beca said smiling a little.

Sebastian walked back in saying that they could leave and he had filled out the forms and made an appointment for next month to check on Becas an aneurysm, and make sure everything was okay.

"Let's get you home," Jesse said, as they walked towards the car.

"How'd you get here Chloe?' Sebastian asked.

"Taxi," Chloe replied, Sebastian offered her a lift back which she accepted, she Jesse, and Beca all sat in the back with Beca in the middle.

"So how have rehearsals been going," Jesse asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Pretty great actually," Chloe replied.

"Yeah Aubrey isn't so controlling she seems much more relaxed," Beca said. "And how about you aca-weirdo?" Beca asked.

"We are aca-awesome as always," Jesse replied.

* * *

They soon arrived back at campus Chloe hugged Beca goodbye saying she will see her tomorrow and Jesse gave her a hug and quick kiss saying he will see her at Lincon centre.

When Beca and her dad arrived home she went straight upstairs to her room and got beneath the covers, not bothering to change into PJs and leaving her shoes on, Sebastian entered the room a few seconds later and proceeded to take off Becas shoes.

"Hey, Becs wanna get changed," Sebastian asked, beca nodded slightly and sat up slowly as Sebastian went to grab her some clean PJs. "There you go," He said as he walked out the room to give her privacy to change.

"Dad, you can come in now," Beca said, Sebastian walked back in the room.

"Here take these," Sebastian said as he offered two aspirins and a glass of water, Beca took them and swallowed them slowly taking a few more sips of water before placing it on her bedside.

"I'm sorry about tonight," Beca said.

"Hey, you have nothing to be sorry about," Sebastian said, sitting down next to her.

"But...I was sick and," Beca said, looking down.

"Hey, you can't help being sick," Sebastian said, as he pulled Beca into his embrace.

Beca stayed silent as she snuggled into her fathers embrace, as he stroked her head.

Beca soon fell asleep so Sebastian carefully slipped off her bed and laid her down, pulling her covers over her.

"Love you Beca, sweet dreams," He whispered as he placed a kiss on top her forehead before he tip toed out the room, leaving the door slightly ajar behind him.

* * *

 **Well there it is...hope you enjoyed it reviews welcome as always xoxoxox**


	23. Chapter 23

**Been a long time hasn't it, thought I'd just let a flow of words out and see what happened. this obvs**

* * *

It was late in the morning when Beca woke, her father had let her sleep in she had, had a rough day yesterday and was exahusted Beca decided a shower was much needed turning it on she waited for it to get to the right temperature before getting in she noticed she hadn't shaved in a while so she looked around for a razor, at first she couldn't see one so she hopped out the shower to check the drawers, luckly she found one and continued her shower routine, after she was finished she changed into a pair of trackies and hoodie before she ran a brush through her hair before going downstairs finding her father in the kitchen.

"Morning Beca, how are you doing this morning?" Sebastian asked, as he started making Beca a coffee.

"Better than I was yesterday definitely," Beca said, gladly accepting the coffee relishing its bittersweet taste.

"Does your head hurt? Have you taken your pills?" Sebastian asked wanting to make sure Beca was 100% okay.

"Yeah my heads fin I uhh..I haven't taken my pills yet I was ill and it was just forgotten I actually feel fine though I feel they got it wrong I just think I was going through a shitty time mentally," Beca said, she was being honest after waking up from last night she felt better she felt like they got it wrong.

"Beca, you really should take them honey please," Sebastian said, Beca shook her head no adimet in her belifs.

"Then can we go back please, they never actually properly tested me for it they just gave them to me, well I was asked questions but thinking back to it they don't seem like the right questions and I was pretty out of it," Sebastian thought about what Beca had just said it was true they hadn't which was strange she could of been taking something damaging for someone with out the condition.

"Okay, i'll make an appointment for you to get officaily tested or retested whatever they say for it but if you do have it then you HAVE to take them okay," Sebastain said, Beca looked down as she nodded.

"Thanks dad," Beca said as she hugged him which was returned.

"Right kiddo I have classes to teach want a lift?" Sebastian asked grabbing his car keys.

"Sure, thanks," Beca replied as she went upstairs to get her things.

* * *

Arriving at the campus Beca said goodbye to her dad and sent Jesse a text saying she would meet him at his dorm, he replied he would bethere in about five minutes.

Whilst walking there she bumpedinto nonother than Bumper.

"Oh it's you," Bumper said when he saw the Bella.

"Hello toyou to," Beca replied flatly.

"Well you guys good luck as i'm off to LA to bea back up singer for John Mayre see ya loser cos even without me you Bellas will never beat the trebleamkers," Bumper said before walking away.

Beca stood there confused for a moment before procedding in the direction of Jesses dorm, knocking on the door it was opened by non other than her boyfriend.

"Hello you feeling better?" Jesse asked befroe pecking her on the lips.

"Yeah, heard Bumper ditched you guys," Beca said as she and Jesse sat on his bed.

"Yeah ass hole, how'd you know?" He asked.

"Saw Bumper he said we would still lose against you guys but we'll see," Beca said as she began to kiss Jesse again, feeling his tounge brush against her lip she openedthemgiving him accsess, this went on for five minutes.

"I love you Beca," Jesse said, looking deep into her blue eyes.

"I love you too Jesse," Beca replied giving him a peck on the lips before snuggling into him both falling into a peaceful slumber.

* * *

 **not a long chapter but it has been a while and need to get back in the flow of this story...reviews welcome as always xoxoxox**


	24. Chapter 24

**Its been a while wow...but here is another chapter.** **I had been stuck on what to do so when I got a little idea I was like imma type this down while it is still fresh in my mind.** **also I did this on my phone so this is new.**

* * *

Several days had passed and Beca was sat in an office with potted plants, a desk and several couches.

"Sorry to keep you waiting dear, right so you are here to get tested for PTSD am I right?" Asked Mavis as she walked into the room.

"Yeah, I was told I had it but I feel fine and was never tested for it well not like this I can barely remember that day as it is if I'm honest," Beca said as she sat up in her seat.

"That's fair enough did they prescribe you any medication?" Mavis asked jotting down some information.

"Yeah they were anti depressants," Beca informed.

"Did they help?" Mavis asked.

"I think I only took them once, I fell ill I have an aneurism luckily it has not ruptured," Beca said, fiddling with the hem of her shirt.

"Have you had a traumatic experience in your life?" Mavis asked.

"Well when I was fourteen my mom got really ill turns out she had a brain tumour and I found her on the floor having a seizure she died," Beca said a tear rolling down her cheek, Mavis handed her a box of tissues which she accepted.

"I'm sorry Beca, that is a horrible thing to go through," Mavis said sincerely,

"How's your sleeping been?" Mavis asked.

"All over the place if I am honest with all this going on, but once it's over I am sure it'll go back to normal which means sleeping in and missing my classes," Beca joked causing Mavis to laugh a litle.

"I see, have you gotten arrested at all?" Mavis asked, Beca averted eye contact. "Beca,"

"Yes I have but it was a misunderstanding, there was a fight after a competition and I tried to get the trophy off my friend Fat Amy but it broke and flew into the window breaking it," Beca winced.

"Okay, did they help you explain this to the police?" Mavis asked.

"Well Jessie and Chloe tried but some others ran away, Aubrey had someone on speed dial some friend of her dad's that is a lawyer or something I didn't need it my dad bailed me out after Jessie called him," Beca said.

"Tell me a bit about the people you just mentioned?" Mavis asked deciding to see how Beca spoke about others.

"Well Fat Amy is an eccentric person who does mermaid dancing and apparently wrestled an alligator and a dingo ant once or something, but she really is a nice person, Aubrey ahh at first I didn't like her she also kicked me out of the Bellas and we got into an argument but we made up, she made me captain of the group, Chloe is the kindest person you could ever meet always trying to make you feel better, make you laugh and all, dad well he is great if I am honest with you I really don't know where I'd be without him and Jessie I love him to pieces which is a good thin considering he is my boyfriend he really looks after me," Beca said with a smile on her face.

"That's lovely Beca, you tell me what made you think they got it wrong?" Mavis asked watching her closely.

"I feel fine now, I know you can have episodes but I was in a real shit place then, yes I heard voices I don't know why maybe it was all the stress off the Bellas and everything getting to me but now everything is fine and I feel as okay as someone who tried to kill themselves twice can be," Beca said, looking up towards Mavis.

"I see your point PTSD can be tricky to diagnose sometimes, I feel you have depression as well as anxiety which is why you had a major breakdown so to speak the voices could be contributed to your aneurism," Mavis informed Beca let out a breath she did not know she was holding.

"That makes me feel so much better," Beca said, causing Mavis to smile.

"I'll prescribe you something for your anxiety as well you can continue taking your anti-depressants," Mavis informed as she wrote down Becas prescription.

Beca exited the room to see her father and Jessie sat waiting outside Jessie's knee was jittering and her dad was sat reading a pamphlet about preparing for your first baby. Trying not to laugh she walked over to them.

"Hey," Beca said, causing them to look up and give her a hug. "Can't breathe guys,"

"Sorry," Jessie said, before placing a kiss on her cheek.

"Well?" Sebastian asked nervously.

"I don't PTSD," Beca said, causing them both to let out a breath. "But I do have anxiety and depression I just need to continue taking my anti-depressants and I am getting prescribed some more pills for my anxiety but I don't always need to take them, which is good as I don't want to become dependent on them,"

"Thank goodness, I mean we would still love you if you have PTSD but for your sake cos I know you wished they were wrong," Jessie said before kissing her on the lips.

"Come here you," Sebastian said as he gave his daughter a hug.

* * *

It was lunch and Jessie and Beca decided to make it a date, they were sat in Wendy's, Beca felt like a weight had been lifted of her shoulders and she could finally breath again.

"I love you," Beca said, as they sat down with their order.

"I love you too," Jessie said smiling.

"Oh, I was talking to the food," Beca joked jessie grabbed a fry and threw it at Beca.

"Thanks," She said as she ate the fry that had fallen in her lap.

"So, you got rehearsals today," Jessie said as he sipped his soda.

"Yup, hope it goes okay the finals are not far away," Beca said, biting into her burger.

"You'll be fine, and you better bring you're A-game to finals," Jessie joked.

"You bet we will don't cry to much when we beat you," Beca joked back.

When lunch ended Jessie went to his class and Beca went back to her dorm to get a little rest before practice later, she was rather looking forward to it f she was honest she missed all the Bellas and it will be nice to catch up.

"Oh, hey Beca, you feeling better?" Kimmy Jin asked as she walked into the room.

"Much better now thanks, what about you, classes going okay," Beca asked in return.

"That's good to hear, they are going okay as well as you can expect for the first year of college," Kimmy Jin answered, before setting to work on a new assignment.

Beca had been asleep for about twenty minutes when there was a knock at the door Kimmy Jin looked over to her roommates sleeping form before going over to answer it.

"Oh, hey Kimmy Jin, is Beca in there?" Chloe asked, cheerfully.

"Hey Chloe, yeah she's asleep you can wait in here till she wakes u if you want, or wake her up it's up to you," Kimmy said as she let the red head in before heading back over to her desk.

"Beca, wake up sleepy head," Chloe whispered while tucking a strand of hair behind the brunette's ear.

Beca felt someone stroking her head it felt nice and soothing, she also heard her name being called asking her to wake up but she was so peaceful she wanted to sleep for a while longer but wanting to know who it was got the better o her so she opened her eyes to see Chloe smiling at her brightly.

"There you are, hey sorry to wake you but I wondered if you wanted to go grab a coffee before practice?" Chloe asked.

"Sure, let me get my shoes and grab my stuff then we can go," Beca said sleepily before getting up.

"So how is everything going?" Chloe asked when she and Beca were sat in a booth.

"Better now much better, which is a change I don't have PTSD they got it wrong but I have anxiety and depression I have to take medication but I don't have to take them all the time," Beca said.

"I'm glad to hear that Beca, when do you start taking them straight away or?" Chloe asked placing her hand on Becas giving it a light squeeze.

"I can start tomorrow which is why after practice we are having pizza and beer as I am not allowed to drink alcohol with this medication,"Beca said glumly, after that they fell into light conversation before heading over to practice.

"Hey Becs, welcome back you doing okay?" CR asked as she gave Beca a hug.

"Yeah, I'm much better thanks, lets get practice stared the sooner we do the sooner we can order pizza," Beca said as everyone filed in, they all said their hellos and had a quick chat before getting started.

Practice went by pretty well if Beca said so herself they still needed to sharpen the choreography but she thought Chloe did amazing at staging the routines and each move fitted well with the songs, everyone knew the lyrics harmony needed a bit more work but then again that was normal for any practice all in all it was a good day they were currently in the practice area eating pizza dribking beer and just having fun.

"We are gonna crush them cheesecakes like an avalanche," Said Fat Amy referring to the compition but mainly the Trebles.

"I second that," Said Jessica.

"This pizza is so good, I wanna marry it," Said Beca as she relished in the taste it had felt like forever since she had eaten.

"I am a priest so I can do that for you Beca if you want?" Said Fat Amy.

After half an hour of beer, pizza and laughs the Bellas filtered out of the rehearsal space until it was just Beca, Chloe and Aubrey.

"You know what I think that was the most fun I have had in ages," Aubrey said as she grabbed her bag.

"Feels so great to let lose," Beca said as she walked along with Chloe and Aubrey.

"Doesn't it," Chloe agreed as they turned off the lights and exited the building.

After being dropped off at her dorm Beca decided to have a shower to wash the sweat from practice off grabbing her shower items she headed towards them, two people were in the showers not including Beca luckily one at the end was free which for some reason was her preferred stall. As she showered she hummed a tune to herself and ten minutes later she was back on her dorm refreshed and ready for bed as she got under the covers she smiled this is the best she had felt in months and with that Beca closed her eyes and went to sleep.

* * *

 **And there you have it...sorry if it is wrong medicly and all I made it so Beca was told he medication doesn't have to be everyday as my friend has anxiety and depression but dose not take her medication everyday as she dose not want to become dependent on them.**

 **reviews are appreciated**


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